Boyfriend doesn't care how he makes me feel

Post Reply New Topic

Okay. So earlier, my boyfriend and I were with some friends of ours and my one gay friend asked my boyfriend if women should be allowed to go around topless (long story). My boyfriend said they should be wherever men can, but that they "shouldn't be mad if [he checks] them out." This hurt me deeply. He knows I'm self conscious of my small breasts. We got in a small argument and he went to the school rec center, then came back for the event I'd been helping with. We apologized to each other but I'm still upset. I feel smaller than I did before and like mine aren't enough for him. Like I am not enough for him. He wants to leer at other women's breasts - and not in porn. He wants to see them in real life. I feel so repulsive and flat and like a child I could cry. All this and he KNOWS I'm insecure. He's either stupid or he just doesn't care.

I don't know. I guess I just needed to vent.

Last edited by EmoGlambertAspie on 25 Jan 2013, 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Taylor Swift is not busty - still hot!

Big is overrated

Also men will look at boobs. You cant blame us - from the moment we are born they are "in our face".

That doesn't give him an excuse to make it obvious to me. All I want is a little respect. How would men like it if their hard dicks had to be visible like women's breasts are? Would we be allowed to stare and compare them to our significant others' penises to their faces because "we're women"? Men are allowed to insult their women and basically tell them they aren't good enough just because of their gender.

Men are visual creatures, and are just wired to look. It' s probably not a reflection on you at all, and of course you don' t need big breasts to be desirable. I 've always been a little jealous of thin and willowy women, as I' 've always been "sturdy" myself.

He was talking about wanting to see topless women. :'( I get it. I'm not good enough. Because he's a man he has every right to leer, stare and drool over other women's breasts [/sarc].

I'm pretty sure he would have said the exact same thing if you had DDs. Relax.

I don't care. The idea was the same: I'm not good enough for him. He wants to stare and drool at other women topless. :'(

Why do you keep equating him wanting to see topless women to you not being good enough. You could be perfect for him, you could be a "10" and he would still want to look at other women. It says nothing about you.

Now it might have been a bit crass for him to say that in front of you...

Last edited by Delphiki on 25 Jan 2013, 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

What a jerk. You should dump him. Right now.

Because if I was good enough he wouldn't want to stare and leer at other topless women and drool over them and say s**t like that in front of me.

No. Married men, old men, teenagers, boyfriends, etc. They look at girls, like I said before if the girl they are with is a "10" they will still look girls. It does not mean you are not good enough.

Now say s**t like that in front of you I have no idea.

Women check out guys, too. It' s not a big deal, just human nature.

It hurts that he wants to ogle other topless women and imagine f*****g them. That makes me feel like I'm not good enough that he wants to f**k other women.

Many many many men before him have said, or thought, the same thing. Should all of their girlfriends have been so upset about it? I'll never date a man again if I have to date one who doesn't like to look at women's boobs!

He said it with me right here though and he KNOWS I'm insecure. It's like he doesn't even care.

So you don't care, the idea is the same if you had bigger breasts. So, it's really nothing to do with your breasts being small. Do you see the flaw in your logic, and therefore your thread title?

The only thing you have an issue with is what your boyfriend vocalises in front of you. That is the issue. I've seen it in another thread of yours as well. I'd suggest you try to stop bringing other, seemingly false assumptions into it and try to deal solely with the problem of not being able to handle the way your boyfriend talks around his friends, when you are present.

If you want to attempt to resolve this with your boyfriend, you need to discuss ONLY THAT ONE PROBLEM, and see if he is willing to "tone it down" when you are around, or if you are willing to accept that he will say these things and it doesn't mean anything. There has to be a compromise or change one way or the other or he will just keep (unintentionally) upsetting you.