Do you find it harder to keep friends as you get older

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Anyone here find yourself becoming more alienated from friends and family as time goes on, like into middle age? This is problematic because at the same time, it is more difficult to make new friends as you age. Does anyone else deal with this predicament? How have you managed it?

wake up, get ready for work, work, maybe I will eat something, get back home, maybe remember to eat, sleep. cycle continues. I can't see how I will make any friends. I tried to make time by forcing my self to go to meetup.com group meetings. But even so the group is small, and I'm most of the time an observer. If I say something then the group goes quiet. Because what I say doesn't leave anything to be added or build on.

I have 2 acquaintances at work, one I would maybe visit after work. But even then I feel uncomfortable. Because I don't want to drink all the time or smoke whatever it is that they are smoking.

can't see myself having plenty of friends, sure as hell not getting better. After reading all those self help books, my mind just goes blank in a social situation and I forget everything I read. Or I recgonise it, but the opportunity already passed. I'm pretty much ......

[quote="Petals021"... This is problematic because at the same time, it is more difficult to make new friends as you age. ...[/quote]

I find it much easier the older I get. But I never liked young people and being young anyway, so I find people my own age or older more likable. This might be the reason why it's easier now.

I have not managed to keep a genuine friend more than 3 years. Fairweather users stick like s**t to a blanket though. It's been like that since 1974 and allistics only see a mug to be used or taken adantage of.

I feel that way a lot. It seems like everyone's had their group of friends forever and they're not always that interested in bringing someone 'new' into their circle. And my friendships have evolved as people got jobs further and further away and had children and all. I also find it immensely difficult to meet anyone new at all, so I guess I'm pretty much feeling the same way.

I seemed to have lost friends as I've gotten older. But I'm only 20. As a kid I made my own trading card games to share and play with people on the school bus. I was hungry for attention in middle school. I started losing it in high school and began turning into an observer. Now I try to avoid people that know me in case they want to talk to me. I think I'm becoming more autistic.

I became the observer in high school.

I don't think friendship is in my DNA sometimes. I know a few people that want to be my friend and make a point to talk with me, but I don't seem to reciprocate in the right way. A lot of that is probably zero ability for small talk, or any conversational artistry whatsoever. It doesn't leave me feeling lonely or sad as much as bittersweet. When we're younger, we're around a large variety of people in situational settings (school being predominant), which can help develop relationships more. That's just not as true later in life.

This is a subject I've been thinking about a lot here, lately. I wasn't sure if it was just me or not, because my situation is an odd one.

I didn't have close friends as a kid, because I lived in a fairly isolated environment, only seeing them at school or once a week at Girl Scouts. It improved slightly in middle and high school, and while I wasn't popular per se, I had several groups that accepted me, and I wandered among them. One or two actual friends, even. When I got into college, all my friends were gay men. I mean all of them. lol I met my ex husband, because my gay bff had a thing for his roommate. When I left to live in another state, I was too caught up in being a mom, working, and finishing my degrees to develop friendships. I associated with my (then) boyfriend's old friends, but when he cheated/I finished my graduate work. I moved back to my hometown in 2011, where I reunited with a couple of the middle-high school people, and we are "friends" again. They introduced me to their significant others, and I made "friends" in the local music community, but I don't actually have anything in common with any of them. I tried finding people more into books, museums, etc, like I am, but they tend to be the under 30 crowd, and I get the impression they aren't really into those things either, beyond the most basic level (we have tragic hipsters here).

So, in answer to your questions...I'm not dealing with it anymore. I'm pulling back, and spending time with just my daughter. She's fourteen, also Aspie, and we share a lot of the same interests. I find her conversations more in depth than those of my peers, because she's received a better education than most of them, and I am tired from the rest of it.

I understand everyone's frustrations about not finding and keeping friends, and although people are likely to have established social circles, this does not mean that they are not open to meeting new people. If you can make people feel good about themselves, give them validation and can add value to their lives, they will make room for you as a friend. You just need to learn to be socially attractive

It's important to remember that people change over time. People's interest change over time, and as this happens many people may start to feel less attached to old, long standing friends and want to meet new people who share their new interests - that's something that has happened to me in some ways over the past year or so. And loads of people don't have great social lives, and would love to have more friends - you're not alone in feeling lonely!

The key is to learn to become the type of person that people want to be around. This may seem difficult, but once you break down different social skills into steps and can understand how and why these skills will make you more socially attractive, as I have explained in my book, you will make progress!

You must never think 'I'm hopeless' when it comes to socialising. Be constructive by identifying your weaknesses, and start to work on them!

I do. As I get older everyone around me is getting married and having kids, and once they do they stop really going out with other people.

Yes, see...this. I'm tired of trying to make them feel good about themselves, giving them validation. That should be an internal thing, and if they aren't happy with themselves, nothing I do is going to make a lasting difference anyway. Plus, it adds to the cycle I mentioned in my previous post.

It happens to Herd People (NTs) too that they lose friends and don't replace them. Part of what happens is that the things you needed from good friends, you don't need the same anymore. So somebody who might have been a good friend if you did becomes a casual buddy whom you would go fishing with if you didn't think fishing was the most boring activity a person could possibly do.

But what about family? They're always family.

Depends on what your family is like!

I am not middle aged but I am in my 30's. However, I found that I had the biggest trouble with friends when they became teenagers and started maturing. I, on the other hand, was a late bloomer. However, I found that as I matured, I had an easier time making friends that I can relate to.

There Are Always Good People Out There Looking For Friends

I hope I can be of some encouragement here. I went to church this morning, and I met a girl who was sitting right in front of me. She was on her own, about 25 and attractive. I chatted to her briefly for a minute or two when the kids were going out to their classes (and everyone else is invited to say Hi to their neighbors) . She told me she recently came back home from the U.S. and I said 'oh really' with interest, and then after the service finished she turned round and continued the conversation with me, and we got a coffee together, and I introduced her to a few other people.

She went onto tell me that since she came back to the UK in December all her friends relationships situations had changed and she was on her own a bit, and basically wanted new friends. So whatever age you are there will always be people new to the area, or who's circumstances have changed who want new friends and you just need to go out and find them!