Is there really help?

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I am 48 and have recently realized that I have AS. It has ruined my life. My IQ is 135 and I am a forklift operator. I have no friends. I go nowhere and do nothing. I am a large powerful man and I have only learned to get around social problems by making people fear me. They cant believe how intelligent I am considering my station in life and this also makes them fear me. People who are self made millionaires tell me that they feel inferior to me and that they feel like I am mocking them. I am not, I dont want people to fear me. I have never had any money. I know that my wife and family love me, but I feel like I let them down as a provider. Is there really help???? Is this considered a disability. I don't want to continue under these circumstances. I can't stand being a lonely empty loser when I might have so much to offer. God, please help me.

It is hard, but yes, you can change your behaviors over time, particularly if you spouse helps you out.

Knowing you have AS will make the process easier, as will reading this forum. You can actually learn from others' mistakes.

The goal isn't necessarily to copy normal people, but to soften the rough edges, so folks can benefit from your gits. You want to be eccentric, not scary.

Good luck!

I can relate to you though I'm not large or scary. I'm seen as a weirdo. I am an underachiever. I do have uni degrees, but my complete lack of interaction skills always drag me down. Now that I'm aware of my "disability", I'm hoping to change my life somehow.

You are still lucky to have a loving wife (and other family members). I suggest you go and study something if you haven't done so and if time allows. I think it's a real pity that you want to use your good brain for something, but you haven't had the chance. Being a forklift operator is good, but if you are not satisfied with it, then you should go ahead and study to get some qualification.

As to help, I don't really know if there's any help for the "disability". Many people here on WP seem to be saying that there no/little help for adults with AS from the government. But as another poster suggested, you do get some useful information here from other members of WP.

Welcome to the Planet!

As the two other responses here imply, you will probably have to help yourself, rather than access "formal" assistance programs. The fact that you are an adult with a history of gainful employment will make you ineligble for most - if not all - of what little help is available from the government and charitable groups. If you have adequate insurance, you may be able to assemble a therapy team who can work with you on your issues, but it is likely to be costly.

That's the bad news.

The good news is that there are a LOT of resources available to help you change your undesirable behaviors and negative self-image.

Wrongplanet is a very good place to start, but (in my experience) is most useful for providing a generally supportive place, not for detailed suggestions about how to deal with particular issues. For that, I'd suggest reading some of the many blogs/facebook pages by autistic adults. Virtually all of them address the problems they face and how they deal with those problems, either by self-regulating their response or by advocating for changes in their immediate environment.

One of the most helpful I've found is Karla's ASD Page on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Karlas-A ... 9821204141 and her wiki: http://asdculture.wikispaces.com/

A few others I read and like include:

http://mamabegood.blogspot.com/
http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/
http://inneraspie.blogspot.com/
http://www.disabilityandrepresentation.com/
http://thautcast.com/

Chat on here. Go read. Learn more about ASDs.

You'll likely find that, while AS may be responsible for problems you have, it is also the root of many good qualities you have - including ones you may not realize you have.

Yes, you will have to, mostly, help yourself, but there are a lot of people on your side and willing to help.

You sound just fine. Children, a wife, a job what more could you ask for in life? As long as they love you no problems.
What do you avoid people by making them afraid of you somehow? I've done that in the past....
How do you know they fear you? How do you know a lot of self made millionaires? That must be something. I don't know any self made ones.

Man you got a wife, kids, a job, your bringing home the bacon, i wouldn't worry about nothing. I don't see how the AS has ruined your life.
Please specify how you think it ruined it. Jobs are hard to come by, yet you got one.

When you say you go nowhere and do nothing. Is that because of the wife and kids? At a certain age a lot of folks don't get to get out like they used to.

You could always set aside different days to go places with your family, or get a sitter and go out with the wife

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement. I was very depressed and feeling hopeless. I know many self-made millionaires because I worked for them. Sadly, I felt so alienated all the time and didn't know why; I felt that this was somehow their fault. As a result I make them the object of my unwavering focus until I find out something that I can use to destroy their business. I am so focused on what they say and do and study them so deeply on the internet that they often think I have their offices bugged. This is a pattern I can not seem to stop. I make people fear me by realizing that they are beginning to see how odd I really am and using this to make them think I am dangerous. I have a shaved head and am extremely muscular which combined with my apparent extreme oddness I am easily able to isolate myself. I am completely unable to have a conversation with anyone who is not a close family member, but I cover this inability by saying things that are so bizare that people find a reason to excuse themselves from my presence very quickly and politely. In a group of people I am so uncomfortable that it feels like I am going to explode. When I go into a social situation to try to please my wife I have to try to be nice and non-threatening which really ends up making me look like a big goofy half wit. People talk to me and I understand what they are saying, but have absolutely no idea how to respond. I also know that whatever I say will either be very odd or will lead to me speaking for hours about particle physics. Surely they ae fascinated by that. Anyway, any "gifts" I have always seem to turn destructive. The reasons why I can"t go out are that that would be an extreme change to my routine and would turn me into a petulant child. Also, anyone that I have been able to befriend for a short time has ended up telling me that I am the most annoying person they have ever known. As much as I have tried my shyness is an unbreakable stone wall that I can't break through or climb over. I sit miserably alone in a corner wishing someone would approach me and when they do I immediately scare them off because I have no idea of what to say or do.

It could be that you haven't been allowing yourself to indulge more deeply in one of your geekiest obsessions. I'll figure that if you find yourself in a room with at least 1 other person with that interest you'll have something to build on. Personally for me, with one of my main interests, there can anywhere from 30 or 40 regular participants up to 300, and even with my more outgoing-than-the average-aspie nature there are about a half-dozen fellow enthusiasts I feel comfortable in my skin to be around, and those are obviously the ones I've known the longest. And that's all right with me. Things won't change overnight, and you probably wouldn't want them to anyway, but as previous posts have mentioned, just knowing what and how you are will give you more to go on - also goes without saying that just because YOU know, doesn't mean they have to know, unless you want them to. If anything, hang out on WP, read the threads and post replies, I'm sure you'll feel welcome