Bi-gender?

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Sooo... a while ago, I was really confused about my gender identity. I even thought I was trans for a little bit...

The thing is, sometimes I feel more male, sometimes more female. Oddly enough, my sexual orientation changes with it (if I'm feeling more male, I'm totes bi, if female, lesbian). It's annoying, because it means that half of me will always regret something, no matter what course of action I choose to take. If I stay female, my male side will always feel horrible about my body, and if I transition, my female side will feel the same. I mean, I decided to keep my sex the way it is purely for convenience, but... *sigh* I wish humans could just change their sex at will.

In other news, I wish I was more androgynous. orz

Anyway, I was at a loss for a while as to what to call myself, until I stumbled upon bi-genderism. From what I can tell, it seems to explain my experience pretty well.

Is there anyone else like me here? And does anyone maybe have an explanation as to why I'm bisexual as a male, and homosexual as a female? U':

Read "My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely" by Kate Bornstein. And all her other books. She's so great.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcKLBi00EHE[/youtube]

Ooh, looks interesting. Thank you. <3

Er, I kind of have a pressing question on this subject...

I'm really scared of referring to myself as male on here, for fear of ostracism and being told that I'm inextricably female. And, well, I guess not just here, but in real life as well. What do you guys think I should do?

I don't think the majority of the people here on WP are that narrow-minded. You should refer to yourself as whatever you feel like. Your biological gender (whether male or female or others) shouldn't restrict you in any way.

Having said that, in real life, there are some narrow-minded people who might try to abuse you for that. Just watch out for that.

However you choose to identify yourself and your body is entirely your own right, and none of us (or them) can ever take this away from you. I myself feel VERY in-between genders. So when anyone refers to me as a woman (i am "biologically" female) and stereotypes me as such, I become uncomfortable. And vice-versa. When people begin referring to me as "duuuude" and becoming too "guyish" towards me, I feel misunderstood. It's seriously tricky to be gender ambiguous in a world so divided between Male and Female. I go through a serious struggle over this. I often just wish we were all ignorant toward gender entirely.... and let everyone just.... Be.

But this being said, wanting a definite gender identity is very understandable. If you ever want to talk further to someone about this, know that I am available to listen and help to the best of my ability.