Three Aspies Walk Into A Bar...

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..they are Argumentative Aspie, Passive Aspie and Persecution Complex Aspie.

Argumentative Aspie: Why are we in this bar? This place sucks!
Passive Aspie: It's not so bad. I've been here before and the bartenders are pretty attentive.
Persecution Complex Aspie: I hope nobody picks on me or starts a fight with me.

Argumentative Aspie: What kind of drinks are we getting? I'm not sure I even trust the cleanliness of this place.
Passive Aspie: Everybody's drinking and no one seems to be complaining or getting sick.
Persecution Complex Aspie: I'll bet they'll say my ID is fake because I look so young!

Argumentative Aspie: I'm going over to the jukebox to pick some better songs. I can't stand what they're playing now.
Passive Aspie: I think the music is okay. It doesn't bother me.
Persecution Complex Aspie: I wouldn't mind dancing but these people will just laugh at me.

Argumentative Aspie: Why'd I let you guys talk me into this place? It's noisy, dark and reeks of sweat and alcohol.
Passive Aspie: Oh, come on. Lighten up and try to have a good time. If you can't, just pretend.
Persecution Complex Aspie: I think that guy in the corner is staring at me. Is that a security guard? Maybe he's from the liquor board!

Argumentative Aspie: Who's gonna pay for these drinks? It wasn't my idea to come here. By the way, this beer sucks.
Passive Aspie: I think since we're three adults we should chip in three-way. It's only fair.
Persecution Complex Aspie: Oh no! I'll pay! It's my fault that everyone isn't happy.

Argumentative Aspie: Well, goodnight all. I'm going home and rewind from this dreadful experience. I had to catalog my foreign stamp collection anyway.
Passive Aspie: Bye everyone. Next time we'll put our heads together and think of a better place to hang out.
Persecution Complex Aspie: Maybe next time we'll just sit on my front porch and drink lemonades. I feel safe there and I've never seen a black helicopter hover overhead.

I'm hoping that's humor...

Argumentative just sounds like a jerk. Persecution complex is an unfortunate reflection of what happens to Aspies who have been socially excluded for years.

Passive sounds reasonable.

Hahaha I love it ! Are we allowed to try to make our own jokes as well?


1) Three aspies walk into a bar.... obviously must be in an alternative universe.


2) An Aspie walks into a bar.
The bartender: Can I get you something to drink? - "Is that not the sole purpose of this and similar establishments? Hardly seems necessary to ask. "

3) An aspie walks out of a bar, - it was not the place for him.

I'm so funny!

:humor:

Aspie walks into a bar...asks for a shutdown shot.

Three Aspies walk into a bar.. they all have headache for days.

Three Aspies walk into a bar..... One wasn't paying attention the other two were just really clumsy.

Tigger runs out of the bar because it is full of strangers
and yucky beer.

He wants to be in his safe playroom with his yummie
apple juice and his toys.

One aspie DOESN'T walk into a bar...because she doesn't drink alcohol and is too busy watching browsing the Internet at home.

4) An Aspie walks into a bar, - sees Tony Attwood and faints.

5) An American Aspie walks into a Brittish bar, - Thought it was a library.

6) An Aspie walks into a bar and yells "ONE DIET VIRGIN CUBA LIBRE BARTENDER", everyone turns around and stares as he lets out a loud awkward laugh untill he notices the silence around him. - Unfortunately nobody understood the reference to the big bang theory.

7) An aspie walks into a bar before noon and sits down at a table of heavy-drinkers. "I suspect we share similar faiths, I to am unemployed and live with my mother. Shall we drink our troubles away while trash-talking contributing members of society? "
- He never walked into a bar again.

Actually, "An Aspie walks into a bar" could be a joke on its own.

8 ) An aspie walks into a bar.... once a year so hes mother won't force him to get a place of his own.

9) An aspie walks into a bar, his special interest is anthropology.

10) An aspie walks into a bar. The IT-company on the third floor is renovating their entrance.

:humor:

Man walks into an Aspie bar...

Menu:
Stim Cola
Tesla Fries
Meltdown sandwhich
Han's Ham Sandwhich
Flapping Buffalo Wings
Synesthesia cookies
Meltdown Ice Cream

And of course....
Aspie Lite
Shutdown shots

A schizophrenic walks into an Aspie bar. Nobody looks him in the eye. He relaxes.

An Aspie (me) walks into a bar.

Aspie: Ow! What idiot decided to put a bar in the middle of a walkway? Now I've dropped my book and lost my place!

A dyslexic Aspie walks into a bra...