I was about to hurt myself

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Sometimes its hard to put into words how I feel. Anyways, I feel so bad because I feel like I always have to go to someone for help rather than myself. I feel like I don't "love" myself enough. I was also thinking that there is no hope for a boyfriend for me (I'm gay) and that I don't feel good enough. Also, I hate that I have this self defensive mechanism and I tend to be dramatic. I was sorta beating myself mentally. So I was close to hitting myself with my fist but I'm so glad I didn't. I still feel bad as of now but is there any advice you can give me? Thank you so much. I feel so bad for constantly bitching to my friends for help with my "drama"

dont give in to sad feelings, its only temporary, it will get better!

im pretty depressed today myself as its around the time of the year my mom passed on, just dont give into despair

You are right but I have given in to my emotions too many times. I should try when the time comes. I got to use my head I know I'm a great person and I am good enough for someone.