I think about suicide but I'm not suicidal?

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Does anybody else do this?

I always answer "No." when asked if I'm suicidal because I'm not and I don't want people fussing over it, but I think about it a lot (like at least 2 times a day) with a sort of morbid curiosity. What would it be like? etc. but then after a few seconds I realize that there's still an insane amount of things tying me to the world.

Not people, or friends, or family, but silly things, like the next episode of a tv show, and someday completing my bucket list, finishing the work of art I started, and stuff like that. Maybe it's because I'm a very material person.

There's times when I'm depressed an I think about it more but I've never really thought about seriously doing it, I always remember I have unfinished business. Or I sleep, which feels like a temporary death and restarts my brain. It's like I long just to quiet my mind for an hour and then come back to continue living.

That's suicidal ideation. You're not serious, but you're depressed and it is a mild risk.

I go through it too....the problem is when you start to seriously ponder it and make plans.

Lately've been feeling like that too. I think it's because I am depressed, but I know it is only because of the circumstances I'm in and I still hope they will change someday and I will be able to do what I want. If I knew it was going to be like this for the rest of my life I'd probably think about it more seriously.

Currently I am not exactly suicidal, like I don't want to off myself....I am just so unbelievably overwhelmed with everything I simply do not know how much more my brain can handle. So it's fleeting thoughts of death being like finally having a damn rest as opposed to constant exhaustion. Or I am concerned when I crash from all the pressure I might become actively suicidal or just do something totally insane in some totally psychotic state or something(not really psychotic since I have no such disorder), but to the outside observer I am sure that is how it would look.

But I can certainly relate to not wanting to bring it up because I am not planning anything and I don't even want to right now so I don't need people fussing about it, or making me feel worse by thinking I am threatening it or something and acting accordingly like telling me to quit trying to get attention or something...which its annoying they would think that since I actually have attempted and actively thought about it but someone always has to be the 'smart one' about what my intentions must be.

I kknow exactly whatt you mean. II am very much not suicidal, but at times I'll find myself randomly going emotionally blank and considering whatever object is closest to hand in terms of how easy it would be to kill oneself with it.

Suicide is a very valid subject for human thinking. Don't worry about it.

I can relate