Do you think it's harder to be LGBT or have ASD?

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I think it's harder having ASD. I really hate having ASD, but I don't mind being bi.

I have a different answer for the poll than for the thread title. I've found it easier (relatively) being gay than having AS. Personally, though, I'd rather have AS than be gay, simply because I don't think it matters which sex you are attracted to. Being an Aspie, on the other hand, has its advantages ... difficult as it can be sometimes.

Lumping Gays with Transgenders doesn't make sense to me--in many places Trangenders still don't fit in the way Gays do. There are two aspects to this as well--laws protecting your rights and how society perceives and treats you.

http://money.cnn.com/2013/02/22/pf/tran ... _Highlight

Last edited by BTDT on 22 Feb 2013, 9:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think it depands very much on time and circumstance.

There are times when it is very difficult being gay and were my ASD presents no issues at all. There are times when the opposite is true. And there are times where neither is a problem.

It's hardest to have both.

I'd say ASD is harder in my case because I think I don't have the ability to connect with people because of that, which is significantly affecting my life. If I were just gay without ASD then, I would pretty much be living a good life. If I were hetero with ASD, then the life would still be very hard.

While I can understand the importance of discussing privilege, I don't think that it's really productive to bicker over who has it more difficult. People are dealt a lot of bad hands. Arguing over who has it harder or who deserves more only serves to divide people.

I agree. I know it gets better for LGBT people, but that doesn't seem to be the case with Aspies.

This is entirely subjective to the individual's experiences.

Personally, I find it harder to be autistic than to be gay. Society is becoming more accepting of LGBT people, yet autistic people are still ostracized and misunderstood. True, there is currently no major movement afoot to deny autistic people their civil rights, but, speaking for myself, my being autistic is more often causing problems for me than my being gay.

I'd say that homosexuality is increasingly becoming accepted in society, to the point that many countries have legalised gay marriage. Being LGBTQ is going to get easier, certainly, and has the potential for loving relationships as much as being heterosexual. ASD is a, quite simply, a disorder. It's far from being as understood as being LGBTQ is and it has downsides outside of societal prejudice. Having an ASD affects people from a far younger age and severe forms of ASD, such as 'classic' autism greatly impair a person's quality of life and ability to function in general. Even Asperger's can cause a person to be completely unable to relate to other people. ASD is certainly far more severe and most, if not all, forms of it do have definite negatives regardless of whether or not there is discrimination against people with it. That is why I'd say that being LGBTQ is easier overall.

I'm with pretty well every other poster in this thread: AS makes life significantly more challenging than being gay does.

IMO, AS also makes being gay more difficult, too. In 20/20 hindsight, chances are pretty solid that I wouldn't have had such anxiety in the past about being gay if it weren't for AS. Now that I'm aware of the AS and dealing with it, being gay has become much easier to accept and deal with, too.

I've also learned a lot from my favourite homo (who's also an Aspie) and his awesome self acceptance, neigh - self love & appreciation, and his "I'm gay. So what?" attitude and approach to life.

Having all of these influences nearly simultaneously, it's a bit difficult to determine which has helped which etc, but overall I'd say AS is more challenging & has made being gay much more difficult throughout my life than it otherwise may have been.

But both are getting easier & easier now.

Being LGBT is far easier. I am lucky that I move in circles that largely accept it, or at least keep their opinions to themselves. Then again, I have never really been active dating, and have yet to learn if it is really harder for LBGT people than straight ones.

Being on the spectrum is neither not accepted nor understood as well. I can act "normal", but I have determined that is necessary in a rather limited set of circumstances in my life, like a job interview.

I dunno. I became more comfortable with being on the spectrum a lot more quickly than I became comfortable with my sexuality. The latter is still a work in progress, to be honest. I think it's because my sexuality is wrapped up in my gender identity, which I always struggle with. Not a day goes by without me wanting to start all over again as a male.

Really, I blame the religion I was brought up in. They see autism and such as part of God's mysterious plan but if you're LGBT it's because you f****d up somewhere, or someone else f****d you up. In the religion I was raised in, God wants everyone to be straight or celibate and gender conforming.

IF I were 100% lesbian with ASD I'd be virgin for the rest of my life, I'd never date, never marry, never have children. Being bordeline ASD I can't function when I have to deal with the same group of people on a daily basis. I get severely depressed. I'd rather be alone. I can't find job. Theoretically, I am pansexual. It is not a problem for me at all. Both men and women think it is amusing. They don't find my ASD funny at all.

I've been an out lesbian for 10 years, but I've only just realized that I'm on the spectrum. I think, at least in the part of the world I'm in and the family and friends I have, it's easier for me to be gay. My parents accepted me when I came out, my friends all know that part of me. My parents don't believe my diagnosis, and I'm afraid to tell my friends because it means explaining to them how much of our interactions over the years have been faked/mimicked/whatever it is I do to blend in that I'm only now realizing I do. For me, that's been a lot harder. The friends I've told also don't believe me. My partner believes me, thank goodness, and has been wonderful while all of this is going down.

I keep remembering how when I realized I was gay it felt like all of these mysterious clues were falling into place. I remember thinking that this was the breakthrough and now I knew who I was and where I fit and I wouldn't feel like such an alien anymore. And it was so frustrating and nonsensical to me that the alien feeling still didn't go away. So I guess I would agree with the person who said that the hardest thing is both.

Well stated Debussey.

Personally, lesbian and as are just part of who I am as a person. Other people have made and continue to view both those parts in ways that aren't resonant to the reality ; that will always be a challenge and a choice to be as genuine, open and strive to greater understandings. My biggest challenge has always been the pure-o part of OCD and the resulting associated anxiety , now that is difficult .