Were you insecure as a teenager? Did it get better?

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Im mostly posting this because I really need somebody besides my friends and mom to reassure me on this. Ive been bullied a lot in school. In elementary school I had no real friends and who ever did hang out with me only did because they knew I would do whatever they wanted because I was so desperate to fit in and get away from the teasing. I grew out of that in middle school and made a couple real friends but still I hear the words "freak", "ret*d", "ugly", "dress like a 12 year old", and "your getting fat", and tons more. Even rumors about me being pregnant and having one night stands with dudes I only knew for a couple hours. (and those are far from true!) Im 17 now and a senior and it still happens. Only this time im now getting picked on cuz of my nervous habbits that I cant help (constantly moving my legs, unable to stand still, scratching my head, and occasionally making noises that I cant help) And im not ret*d. When it comes to grades I'm as smart as the average student even though I am a bit slower to do my work. Anyways all of this and the fact that I used to have to deal with my own brother insulting me for fun until I was 15 (often resulting in me coming home late on purpose, most of that time spent hiding somewhere in the street after the bus dropped me off.) has left some scars. Now I cant do anything without hearing a voice telling me that im doing it wrong and I always worry that somebody is laughing at me or getting tired of me. And whenever I look at myself In the mirror I just feel so ugly. I know people are not expecting me to look like a model but still I just don't like myself. And I just feel so fat even though my friends tell me its not bad (im between 150 and 160 pounds) I feel ugly, incompetent, and like a freak. I am really starting to hate myself. Was anyone else insecure as a teenager? Does it get better? Somebody help me.

Yes to the first question, and yes to the second question. It does get better, but you have to will it to get better. That means you can't withdraw every time something bad happens. Right now everyone sees you as a human punching bag and you see yourself as a victim. You have to have a personal paradigm shift. Try getting more involved in activities like volunteering. If you're going to college, you can also use that as an opportunity to make a change for the better. Bullies always prey on those who have low self-esteem. Once you start to genuinely think better of yourself, people won't try to tease you because it won't have the same effect.

yes, I was an insecure teenager. i'm happy with myself now.

Yes I was utterly miserable as a teenager. I was bullied through most of primary and secondary school. I only had one friend at secondary school and can still remember the IT technician better than most of my classmates as I spent all my lunch breaks in the computer suite playing Minesweeper (computers weren't what they are now).

However, things have improved as I have got older. For me it started about your age when I changed schools for the 4th time. I still don't have a wide circle of friends but I think it is more through choice these days as I have other things I would rather be doing and it takes a substantial investment of time to maintain a friendship. I have had occasional bouts of depression and anxiety as an adult and there have been some groups I have had difficulties with. On the whole though I feel a lot happier in myself and am an outgoing person when in company.

I can't comment on how your life will turn out, but I have found in mine that each difficult period has come to an end eventually

Hang in there! I was the freak at my all-girls secondary school; there was one girl who was just as weird as me but she was accepted and I wasn't, and looking back on it, I can only conclude that it's because I was (undiagnosed) Aspie and she isn't. I was constantly excluded from things by the others, felt different from them but couldn't identify precisely why (now I can). Teenage girls can be witchy as hell and worse. Once I finished school and went off to university I was able to leave those girls behind, get involved with things I enjoyed and made friends/built a support network that way. Didn't work out the first time (I was on an unsuitable, it turned out, course) so when I went back to uni, different uni, different degree, shortly before my 22nd birthday, I got involved in societies that interested me (Folk Society, Tolkien Society, Sci-Fi and Fantasy, plus a couple of others) and I've made some amazing friends.

Teenage years are hard for everyone because hormones are all over the place, going crazy, not yet settling, on top of the immense social pressure to do various things. Don't let yourself get pressured into doing something you don't want to do and be proud of who you are. There is nothing wrong with being an Aspie - and now I've found out that that was the cause of my issues, I can sit here and tell people that it really does get better. I went through a bad patch in secondary school, constant battle with depression and self-harm, but you are awesome as you are and if other people don't like it, the problem is them, not you.

I know it's easier said than done, but I am proof that it gets better, that forging your own path in life, doing what YOU want and not what others want you to do, is the best way forward.

If you want to chat or whatever, feel free to PM me!

For the record, I've never known of anyone who wasn't highly insecure as a teenager, so rest assured that you're not alone!

I got over my insecurities not long after my 13th birthday, so no. I'm currently content with myself.

I was pretty much a loner as a teenager. I still am a loner, and I'm fine with that mostly. My teen years weren't the best. My 20s were/are better.

My insecurities really started to melt away, once I hit my 30s. My 20s were better than my teens, that's for sure. I'm hoping that my 40s will be better still and so far so good.

Wow! Maybe I'm just the odd one out. My answers would be yes and no. I'm glad that there are some positive responses for you, because I wouldn't want to make you feel worse.

Being a teenager was awful, school was awful. Sure my 20's have been somewhat better, but not by much. It's hard when no one other than your mother has had any sort of real encouragement towards anything you do.

Oh yes, I was terribly insecure as a teenager. I would sometimes want to cry just because I had to be in a room with other people who I knew were thinking bad about me. I was bullied, pushed around, assaulted, made fun of, manipulated, humiliated, lied to, stolen from, etc. Things started getting better when I made friends with a couple of girls who actually accepted me and helped me learn what I was doing wrong and taught me what to do instead. They were patient with me most of the time, but sometimes they weren't, and sometimes they had to make me do things. I'm glad they did make me do things I didn't want to do, even though at the time I wanted to kill them for it. It helped me learn that I could do the things that everybody else did, and it also helped me learn that I wasn't made out of spun glass and the world wouldn't end if I had to do something very uncomfortable.

I'm still insecure at times now, but mostly that's all gone. As I got older I cared less about what other people thought and more about just doing what makes me happy. Of course I still care what people think, but not to the obsessive point that I did when I was young.

I'd suggest that you find at least one other girl that you are comfortable with and who is somewhat popular so you can learn exactly what it is you are doing wrong. That's the thing with us, a lot of times, I think so anyway. We want to act like everybody else but we don't know what exactly we are doing that we shouldn't do. A friend can point that out to you if you ask them to. Just make sure that the person you choose is actually someone socially successful.

It will get better, but you have to be willing to make it get better and take some chances and be willing to fail as well as succeed, because over time you will do both. Eventually the successes will outnumber the failures and then you're golden.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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I was more confidant as a teenager because I was in school with friends, a schedule and counseling. I am currently very insecure.