I'm probably genderqueer

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Joined: 4 Dec 2011
Age: 45
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07 Mar 2013, 8:33 am

So I finally got an appointment with the someone who specializes in sex/sexuality/gender issues at my local autism support place. I've been wondering about the gender thing for a few years already. I don't really have problems with the biological part of being a woman, it's the social part that I can't deal with. What I mean is that I don't mind being biologically female, but I hate it when people expect me to be a certain way because I'm biologically female. The therapist was very understanding and didn't judge me at all. It was actually the first time I could talk about these things so openly. She confirmed what I already guessed, that I'm probably genderqueer. I still have a few appointments with her, but I'm glad I'm finally getting some sort of closure to this. I still have to think about stuff like hormones and so on (I know I don't want any surgery) but at least I feel like I'm on the right path.

jamieevren1210
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07 Mar 2013, 9:43 am

Me too. I'm also genderqueer and asexual. I'm really not interested in either sex. I have short hair and dress mostly in unisex/men's clothes

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Urist
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07 Mar 2013, 10:01 am

I'm physically male but agender/non-gender/some kind of genderqueer. Very little interest in gender roles. I suppose gender roles are a form of societal and peer pressure which I barely even recognise, let alone bow down to.

As for your mentions of hormones and surgery, that is, as far as I know, for transexual people. If you lack interest in being male or female either way, there's little reason to change your physical sex. That's what I would assume, anyway.

Sharkgirl
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07 Mar 2013, 2:58 pm

It's very confusing I'm not sure if its societies gender roles that I rebel against or my hatred of my mothers total and unquestioning commitment to upholding the female gender steriotype to the point of trying to force me to conform to it and then punishing me when I chose not to. I wonder if underneath all my rebellious reaction to societal norms would I really just prefer to be male or is it just because I choose to react to society's lack of logic with my own androgynous style that I get confused whether I am agender / bigender / queergender / pangender etc

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Heidi80
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09 Mar 2013, 6:11 am

Urist wrote:

As for your mentions of hormones and surgery, that is, as far as I know, for transexual people. If you lack interest in being male or female either way, there's little reason to change your physical sex. That's what I would assume, anyway.

I want to be androgynous, but butchy. Here in Finnland, you can get hormone treatment with a genderqueer-diagnosis. I'll try to make my body like I want it with going to the gym and dieting, but if that doesn't work I might start hormones.

Heidi80
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09 Mar 2013, 6:14 am

Sharkgirl wrote:

Oh yes, the mother thing. My mom tries to make me conform to the female gender stereotype too and I absolutely hate it. I like women more than men, so that's already hard for her to swallow. And then if I tell her about that I'm genderqueer, it'll be the start of the third world war in our family.

kouzoku
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09 Mar 2013, 9:24 am

I'm male but very feminine. I have always had extremely low testosterone so my body is very androgynous. I like being feminine and pretty. Most people think I am a girl until I speak, and then they can't figure out which gender I am. Sometimes I've felt that I am a completely separate third gender.

jk1
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10 Mar 2013, 5:25 am

I am biologically male, gay and I'm fine with it. I wear men's clothes. But like the OP, I hate it when people expect me to conform to the traditional male role. I don't particularly want to be a female or anything. I just want to be free from gender roles. I don't know the exact definition of genderqueer, but I sound like that. I have never had any chance to speak to anyone about this frustration because I fear it could cause trouble. I find it really ridiculous when people talk about gender equality/freedom blah, blah, blah and yet try to force me to act in a certain way because I'm male. I feel many people are really hypocritical.

serenaserenaserena
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12 Dec 2014, 10:46 pm

Urist wrote:

Well, with sex and gender being different and all, sometimes people can just feel disgusted with their genitals and not know why, like me.

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SadButRad
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18 Dec 2014, 8:54 am

Me too

Cintakmarka
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25 Dec 2014, 9:44 pm

I'm
- 29
- female
- dress androgynous/butch
- single
- seeking friends
- in NY
- vegan
- like women

Magneto
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26 Dec 2014, 5:40 am

So... is genderqueer what we would call being a tomboy if it's a girl?

Is it about a rejection of gender roles, rather than any actual gender identity?

princessarachne
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19 Mar 2015, 8:56 pm

Magneto wrote:

So... is genderqueer what we would call being a tomboy if it's a girl?

Is it about a rejection of gender roles, rather than any actual gender identity?

No rejection of gender roles is a different thing. GQ people are people who don't identify as male or female.
There are all different types. There's Nonbinary (Idk for sure but I think it means ur like in between or something like that), There's agender (which is when you don't identify with a gender at all), and there's genderfluid, which is when you feel more masculine on some days and more feminine on some days. I'm fluid (male biologically) and I normally dress however I feel that day.

green0star
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27 May 2016, 9:11 am

Magneto wrote:

So... is genderqueer what we would call being a tomboy if it's a girl?

Is it about a rejection of gender roles, rather than any actual gender identity?

Its a gender identity, trust me. You just don't hear about it much because people don't really discuss it outside the internet. Although its genuinely difficult to get most people to understand whether you explain it to them in detail or not. I personally am genderqueer and while I claim both male and female I also claim neither. It is one in the same, nothing more then the other.

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