Would you rather date a aspie or NT?

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I'd go for another aspie. You?

Honestly, I wouldn't judge people by their diagnosis. If they are attractive and our personalities really click, I don't care if they are AS or NT.

If I were forced to choose, though, I'd pick NT. I worked hard on improving socially and I want to continue that rather than have someone who may slide me back.

Also, there's a difference between Aspies who are unique and quirky and between Aspies who just can't relate with people at all.

Aspie-they would understand my quirks and I would understand theirs and not hold it against them-although there are aspies that can be critical about stuff like that and NT's too that would be understanding of the quirks but an aspie would understand what it is to be on the spectrum and the difficulties and an NT would not be so much for helping to improve as to be more into "changing" a persons behavior so you won't "embarrass" them in public or in some social situation-understanding to help with improvement is better than ridicule and passive aggressive treatment under their breath-you know-"behave and wait till we get home" under their breath.

yep i'm the same.
I tend to go for geeky or gamer types.
I've had spoken to a few aspies males in the past, it didn't go so well. One thought i was more aspie then him cos i don't like talking on the phone - i have a NT older brother who doesn't like talking on the phone, another said i was abusing him for telling him the truth to go see a doctor and another got funny with me cos i rejected him for a date more then once. I'm not saying all male aspies are like that, i'm friends with a few aspies on fb and RL.

An understanding NT. You'd think Aspies would understand you but what I've found from my attempts at dating Aspie women they are ironically less understanding, and not always fond of personal development like minervx would suggest.

Never know there might be an Aspie girl suited to me but I'll see what comes and take it from there.

I'd go for a neurotypical person. I want neurotypical babies.

Depends. I'm beginning to realize the best connections are where common ground exists (to catalyze the connection) but also where one's strengths and weaknesses complements the other's strengths and weaknesses (to secure that connection). I'm sort of on the Aspie-NT line so I could probably secure common ground with both. But given my weaknesses are in the social and emotional realm, an NT would better complement me. I know this sort of framework definitely applies to close friendships/platonic relationships, but I'm not sure it would directly translate into romantic relationships.

TLDR: undecided/depends on the person

I'd go for a neuro-diverse person over an NT/person with standard societal attitudes and thinking style

I'm starting to think that society's expectation on people to actually be in a relationship is far too pressurising though
- perhaps some of us just make better friends?

that would be very acceptable-non judgmental and it is a strong want/need sometimes for a romantic relationship sometimes-not all the time but it would be nice to experience something like that-I am sorry that is something many just cant ignore and do want but it can be difficult to achieve. People also say why do you want that- its so difficult to have relationships-it is but it is something some people want to do-I am trying to keep it as a family appropriate posting without getting graphic as to the drives to want such relationships but suffice it to say there are people on the spectrum out that that maybe want more and some that want less but above all we must be comfortable with whatever we want in the obtaining of what we seek.

Good point

I've done relationships, one-offs, an FWB and now think I need to try companionship for a while as I'm mentally drained from it all!

I would date either an Aspie or an NT, depending on his personality. As long as a guy is smart, has a decent work ethic, and it attractive enough, I will at give him a chance. I could care less if he is Aspie or NT. I probably wouldn't be able to tell if I guy was an Aspie, unless he told me or had very obvious traits. I dated one aspie, but I don't know many of them, so I tend to go for quirky NT guys.

I could date either an Aspie or an NT.

But let's be realistic, high functioning autistic almost always affects males, so the probability of meeting a girl with high functioning autism in day to day life is slim, unless there is an autism support group, or you meet them online.

So realistically, the chances of you dating a girl who is NT is MUCH higher than dating a girl who is autistic.

I will say it here- I am totally against the notion of Aspies just specifically wanting to date Aspies and just Aspies alone! It is an unrealistic expectation, and something along the lines of fanciful thinking, as opposed to sensibility and practicality.

By just wanting to date Aspies alone, you are limiting the numerous potential opportunities that are available out there to you. Look, I know NT's get a bad rep, because they don't understand what we deal with, and are puzzled/confused by our seemingly "abnormal" social behaviors. But that doesn't me that are bad, they just have no frame of reference to understand our "dileema".

I have met many nice girls who are NT's that I socialize with, and considering that there are a greater number of NT's vs. Aspies, it is more realistic to want to date anyone who you have common interests with, not based on neurological diagnoses.

Do you guys think it is easier for a AS boy to get an NT girl than it is for an AS girl to get an NT boy?

Being an AS boy, I would certainly say that it would be much more difficult to be able to find an AS girl to date, unless he meets her online, or through a support group. I wouldn't say relationship wise, it would be easy for a NT girl to date an AS boy, considering their social capabilities, but the probability of getting a date with a NT is more likely.

Since I'm not an AS girl, I can't make an accurate prediction on an AS girl getting a NT boy .

But if I were to make an educated guess, it would be likely that an AS girl would date a NT boy, just based on the fact that there are more NT's than Aspies around.

I think it would probably be equally difficult. From reading this forum, it seems like this is a trend:

AS boys have difficulty in the initiation phase; NT girls rarely seek out boys as the gender expectation still leans toward the boy initiating the courtship, leading to the AS boys yearning for interaction but not being able to get it due to lack of social understanding, anxiety, depression, etc.

AS girls encounter difficulty beyond the initiation phase; NT boys typically seek out anyone they view as attractive or anyone they find interesting, which theoretically would lead to a lot more dates for AS girls than for AS boys. But beyond dates, the lack of social understanding, anxiety, depression, etc. leads to the AS girl not communicating the continued interest, intimacy, intentions, etc. in a way the NT boy can understand. Since NT boys can often place less emphasis on empathy or emotional understanding (whether due to biology or gender stereotype, idk), the NT boy wouldn't know what to do which ultimately could cause the NT boy to leave.

Is this at all on the mark? This obviously has some gender bias since I am male and romantically inexperienced.

I've only been ever attracted to men who possess clear autistic traits, even before I knew that Asperger's existed. I am very attracted to people who have slower body movements in general, who tend to get stuck on one thing and do it repetitively, who talk more slowly with less inflection and non-verbal expressiveness, and who tend to do things in the same predictable way every time. Based on what I've learned in psych, we all tend to get attracted to those who are similar to us, both in appearance and interests. I also think that I feel attracted to men with autistic traits because their lower expressiveness and higher predictability does not overwhelm my sensory circuits, thus allowing free space within my system for complex emotion, that being attraction. There's also less fear and anxiety around a person like this, with these two things being highly aversive to us as human beings in general.