Feeling really good about some Temple Grandin videos

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I have been listening to a lot of her speeches and it is so insighful and so practical! I have started putting into practice some of what she has said. So, my 4 yo is now learning not to visual stim while he is eating at the table. He looks over to see if anyone is watching, before he tries to sneak and do it, so I feel that he understands the point now. Since his NT 6yo brother likes to read while he eats, he is also told to put the book down. I like that we are now having regular breakfast and dinners. I am debating whether I should inform the school that we are doing this at home, so that they can keep follow through with him at school or wait until he has perfected it. We are also looking for other ways to "stretch" him, since it is easier to teach certain skills while the child is still young.

I like that Temple stresses that kids need jobs. So, I am trying to find a chore for him. His 6 yo brother will get the chore of cleaning off the mirrors in the bathroom. I just can't figure out what I could give him to do, that he can do, and feel good about doing it.

Temple is adamant against video games so his father will be looking for a "video game" that could possbile teach a bit of code. Both his father and I work in IT though I am not as savy as his father. We don't know if that "game" exists but we will try it out on the 6 yo first. My 6 yo has an incredible memory (without the ASD) so he will be an excellent person to try out these things and then teach his little brother about it.

Temple even makes me feel better about mainstreaming my 4 yo for elementary school to expose him more to social situations. However, for middle school, I need to find some extracurricular activity that exposes them to trade programs. I already have the 6 yo in art and martial arts so at some point, we will try and incorporate is little brother.

Thanks! I already started checking it out and e-mailed it to my hubby. I will introduce it to the 6 yo first to build the interest that transition it to the 4 you.

This is aweson!

On a different note, what chore would you give a 4 yo? I would have him put away the toys except my terror 2 yo would just go right behind him and take them all back out. It's too cold to do anything outside and we have no pets (and I definitely cannot handle a pet on my plate right now so it's not an option).

Would helping to sort the laundry be appropriate for a 4 yo?

For a while now, I have had my youngest help with the laundry. He helps me pick up all the dirty clothes in his room (which are usually all sort-of piled in and near the closet) then I have him help me pack the laundry basket to his brother's room where brother adds his dirty clothes to the pile then youngest helps me pack the laundry basket downstairs to the laundry room. We have a front load washer so I have him stuff the clothes from the basket into the washer. I started doing this because packing the laundry basket was something that our OT had put on the sensory diet list of ideas to do but it has turned into a regular Saturday morning chore.

I think whatever you decide to have him do for a chore might need to be something he helps with and not necessarily something he does all on his own at this point. Sorting the recycling is something I can occasionally get youngest to help with (until he picks up a can or bottle that has gunk on it or smells funny ). He could also probably do part of setting the table for dinner, like putting out knives and forks and/or putting a napkin by each place setting. I would start small with something that takes a short amount of time but that he can get a lot of praise for.

Those are really good suggestions Bombaloo. He already puts his clothes in the hamper when he takes his clothes off (both boys do) so their room is usually pretty orderly.

We also have a front load washer so he can help me sort it put it in the washing machine. My son has a short attention span so anything he helps with, I would have to be there the whole time to help. The laundry is one of those things everyone needs to learn to do and he is alreay pretty comfortable with the washer and dryer so I think that is a good place to start. I usually do laundry at odd times when the kids are not around so I will have to save one load of clothes for Saturday so that we can do that.

My four year old takes dirty laundry to the laundry room, too. Everyone leaves their clothes in the bathroom after showers, and he gathers the clothes and towels and runs them to the laundry. The first 2-3 times he was assigned to it, we had to drag him through it while he screamed bloody murder, but now he loves it. We've been trying to think of a second one for him.

I love hearing what she has to say, shes amazing! I loved her film and her book "thinking in pictures", she just makes absolute sense. Shes an inspiration

Sorting laundry might be satisfying for him if he is a 'sorter'!

At that age, my kids "chores" were more just playful copying.
1) a cloth to dust furniture - my kids dusted the coffee table over and over, they really liked the mitt dusters that fit over their hands.
2) put toys in a bin or basket in that room i.e. We had a basket for toys in each room, then at the end of the day I would put the toys in the right place.
3) spray water on the kitchen table and wipe it.
4) spray water on the bathtub walls and wipe them down.
5) put laundry in hamper
5) child size broom to sweep
6) fill the sink with bubbly water and wash a few dishes (they were already clean. I didn't really give them dirty dishes)
7) arrange the pillows on the couch
arrange stuffed animals on a made up bed
9) hang up hand towel in bathroom
10) We had a dust-buster vacuum with an extended handle. We just kept the handle down and they could vacuum.
11) put folded clothes in drawer
12) put shoes in shoe shelf, and coat on hook by front door.
13) turn off all the light switches in the house
14) fold washcloths
15) "organize" pots and pans or "organize" plastic storage dishes
16) pull grapes off stem and put in baggies (counted out some specific number like 15
17) put napkins and silverware on table for dinner
18) feed dog/cat
19) put silverware from dishwasher in correct place in drawer
20) straighten kids books on shelf

Anyways, these were all supervised tasks, and none of them were really chores they were responsible for doing. They were just fun "chores" to learn that chores needed to be done and to begin learning the skills necessary to do chores.

some things my 3yo NT (almost 4yo) loves to do:

She can wipe off the kitchen table (not perfect but she ikes doing it)
She can help unload the dishwasher, she knows only the utensils and kiddie dishes
she loves to hep with the laundry and can even fold her own pants and kind of fold her shirts
When we come home she takes off her jacket and shoes and puts them in their spot
We sing Laurie Berkners clean up song, and she is able to clean up in record breaking time (toys off the floor)

She is great at bringing things to other people, I always give her something to bring to her bro or dad.
SHe LOVES yard work, will help DH rake leaves, she pushes them in the bags. With the small shovel she helps shovel snow...lol
She likes to rinse off dishes in the sink.
Helps me put laundry in the correct rooms and drawers.
she likes to pour food in teh cats bowls

yes, she is a doer! I dont have a list that long for my 7yo...I can actually list more that she likes to help out doing, not that she does all those things in a day, usually one or 2. But she always puts her dishes in the sink after she eats, and will clean her spot. FOr now that is all I requier or expect of her. The other things I see as fun, she likes them so she can participat in them if she wants to. Most of the time when se sees me or her dad starting one of the above activities, she asks to help or do it herslef.

Is there anything he shows interest in? Putting his toys in the toy box? Putting his dish in the sink? Pressing the button on the dishwasher to start it (another one of DDs fave...lol)?

If you can find somethin he likes, or is good at and try to make a chore or task out of that.

good luck!

Thank you so much!! I was drawing a blank, but you have given me so many ideas. I am going to get them to help with unloading the dishwasher and the laundry. I also like the idea of making them wipe the tables. I think those are a good foundation to start with. The kids always want to sweep or wipe the floors (we have hardwood floors) but I never let them do it because I know I would have to do it over once they were done. Well, I am going to let them at least try. Growing up in my home, we all had some chore at home and started working in our early teens. I don't know why I never though of letting my children really help out at home until Temple say it.

Thanks Ravenmom, I will look into getting my hands on Scratch. I can at least start with the 6 yo so that I can learn about it a little myself before I introduce it to the 4 yo.

Yes, when the kids help in my house, its just to get them used to pitching in. I am most always cleaning right after them. If DS wipes the table, I usually wait a bit then go over it cause he always misses a spot or 2, but its the point of doing it. At their young ages, thats all I want. When they are older we can get into doing it completely!

We also have a hand vac that both kids know how to use, and when they make crumbs they will go suc most of them up. They love the hand vac cause I am always using it, and its small enough for them to handle, and its a real grown up toy...lol