Question About My Autistic Son's Destructive Behavior

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Hello all, I'm new here but I have a 4 year old whose been diagnosed with moderate to severe autism and I have a question for anyone else with a similar situation.

My son walks around the house literally tearing apart every thing he can get his hands on. Let me give some examples...

1. A few minutes ago I have him a small bowel of ice cream and a spoon and instead of eating it (which he can), he poured it on his head.

2. He frequently visits the kitchen and pours out anything he can get his hands on as well as dumps out cereal, pasta, water on the floor, etc. Daily.

3. He dumps out his food on the floor and eats it. He will have it no other way. It's either the floor, or he will not eat.

4. He draws on himself frequently.

I could go on and on but the point is our home is trashed 85% of the time because he is so destructive and I just don't know what to do to stop it. He's ruined EVERYTHING nice we own and I refuse to buy new stuff.


What can I do???

when my husband's nephew was hitting his sister, they took away his love, baseball, until he quit hitting. what have you tried?

He's 4, so with a moderate to severe delay he may be like a 2 1/2 yr old or 3 year old in many ways. We kept the child proofing stuff up for a long time (The one advantage of poor fine motor skills)

Pouring ice cream over his head could be like a toddler might do, to gauge reaction. When we were in the messy stages, like that, I just had a "tarp" out (a cheap picnic table cover) under our son's high chair and tried to remain as calm as can be and the mess slowed down. You could put a "tarp" out under his chair and no shirt so he is easy to clean after he eats so you are not as stressed.

I would really try hard to keep pourable substances away in cabinets, and if need be, put a child proofing device on the fridge or if you can gate the kitchen area off. If your son's fine motor skills are good it may not work, of course, but if they are not so good, it is worth a try.

Do you have a pet your child is imitating? You may need to make a funny social story telling your child he is not a pet and should eat like a big boy.

#4 may link up with #1 if he likes being messy. My son has sensory issues the other way. At that age, he hated water and did not like to be cleaned, but he also did not like being messy. Maybe your son is the opposite and gets a sensory thing out of being messy? It also could be an attention seeking thing if he enjoys getting a reaction from you.

That is all I could think of right now as far as specifics. How does he react to punishments? Does he understand consequences and care about them in order to change behavior? You could also bribe him with rewards for not trashing stuff, if your child is responsive to that. Back wen we had issues with this I punished for willful tearing up stuff and that sort of thing, but I didn't for things like dropping stuff on purpose and making a mess because not giving attention in that case worked better. A lot of what you do though will depend on what motivates your individual child. What if anything motivates him? If you can figure that out, it will help you b/c even if it does not work, you will know that something else is involved. My son gets "something" out of trashing things so I had to ween him off it and get him approved things like scrap paper to trash because punishments and bribes did not work.

Does he like the feeling or sound of things being poured out of other things? It probably looks good, don´t you think that pouring foodstuff out of containers look good - I do. Some of it sounds nice as well.

How about sand, does that work as well?

Just a thought.

The other thing I'm thinking - my son has real difficulty sitting in a chair at a table. To this day, if we don't correct him, he will sit sideways in the chair with his knees pulled up to his chest (we only correct him because he then drops food on the floor and gets frustrated) He didn't exhibit this behavior as a child, but he is capable of sitting in a chair, it's just really uncomfortable for him.

Does your child ever sit in a chair "properly?" Can he do it if he's in a toddler-sized chair and his feet are touching the floor? If that works - try stretching an elastic headband across the legs of the chair, which works for my son. For DS, it's kind of like he feels weightless when in a sitting position, so he needs sensory feedback to know where he is in space.

Just an idea. Sounds like you've got a lot of things going on there simultaneously, but I thought that might be one. Are you seeing an OT (Occupational Therapist?) I agree with the above posters that this sounds like a sensory issue, even if it isn't the specific one I mentioned.

We've had a few good threads on this topic. You might check the stickie at the top of the board called Parenting Index. My suggestion is to get him on a hefty sensory diet. Do you have access to occupational therapy? An OT could help you with that. Give him as many opportunities as you can to make a mess in a contained space like a sensory table. You can fill it with a wide variety of different materials like sand or rice or soapy water. Play dough and gak are often appealing to kids who are sensory seekers. Finger paint is good. I have covered the kitchen floor with easel type paper and let the kids color all over it.

If you can get him to the point where his senses are more regulated, you might have more success working on things like eating at the table.