3.5yr old's obsession with feet

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My 3.5 year old has a growing fixation with my feet. To start with he liked to tickle them, that moved on to arranging them in different positions while I am sitting. I didn't mind as he has had a lot of different fixations that he's grown out of. However now he is starting to rub his face on them, and pay attention to other people's feet as well. I was watching him at preschool, trying to get little girls to unfold their legs so he could tickle their feet. And if visitors come around he is trying to tickle them too.

The face rubbing is most concerning, along with doing it to other people. Does anyone have any advice? I'm torn between wanting to let it run it's course like every other fixation he's had, and intervening. he doesn't do it to my husband, I'm not sure if it's because he doesn't allow it, or because he doesn't want to. I'm not sure if he's tried it on other men or not, I've only seen him do it to females.

I don't understand where this is coming from, and I'm worried if I don't do something about it now it will become a permanent obsession and people will think he's weird when he's older. Let's face it, they're probably going to think that anyway without him touching their feet!

My son just turned 4 and went through a period (months) of wanting to kiss evryone, on the lips. I have no issues with him kissing me but for everyone else, its a no-no for obvious reasons. He has communication delays so I couldn't just tell him one time and he would get it. Instead, I became the anti-kissing police and everytime he tried to kiss someone, I stopped him and told him that he needs to ask permission before he kissed anyone. I made sure everyone said no (his 2 yo sister sometimes said yes) and made sure he knew he couldn't kiss anyone if they said no. I needed to make sure that he understands people have rights and are not jus props.

It's not completely gone but greatly reduced. As he gets older I think he will better be able to handle that.

This hits it on the head. The issue is boundaries and learning to respect them in other people. While I can understand your concern that he will develop a lasting foot fetish, the real issue is that he needs to learn that he cannot touch other people without their permission. We also had a kissing problem with DS last year in K. In part it seemed to be a result of him not knowing how to interact with the other kids as well as not understanding that he needed to respect other people's boundaries. We had to stay on him constantly about it for a few weeks but he did stop after that and it hasn't come back this year in 1st grade. His ability to interact with the other kids has also improved with plenty of social skills training and I think that helps.

my son used to play with my hands, he u sed to name them, give them voices, and they would talk to his hands. Sometimes I joined in, and would make puppets out of my hands and have them play with his. But eventually, he took this to another level, and it was all consuming. It did take a while to break him of it. he used to hug my hands, he would play with anyones hands really. Now at 7, he doesnt do it anyomre, but if I had initiated it, he would jump right in with a game of hands...lol.

His other big issue was hugging. My son was a MAJOR hugger. He would go to anyone, kids, adults etc... and just go right in for the hug. He is stil a hugger, but we have been talking about who and when its ok to hug, and who and when its not. And he HAS to ask for a hug. He used to hug his karate Sensie's, who are all young men, and they would get stiff as a board like they were very uncomfortable with it. I had to teach him to give them hi-5s or ask for a hug. He still hugs his Drs, therapists, freinds, etc...but teaching boundaries is the most important. He used to go to anyone and hug, now he has some restraint. Though, my boy is a hugger at heart!

What we're teaching now is that those things are NEVER OK.

Do not touch other people, ever, no matter what. Don't play tag. All my kids really enjoy tag; I'm thinking of giving them a Nerf ball they can throw to tag, but I can see that going to bad places too.

Don't hug. Don't ask for hugs. Mommy and Daddy can't hug you at the bus stop, because that's a public place.

No kisses. Ever. That's hard because we have always encouraged hugs and kisses goodbye and goodnight and kisses for boo-boos.

It is never OK to cry.

Speak only when spoken to. Answer the question in the fewest words possible.

He has a hard time with things being OK sometimes and not OK other times, so it's just never OK.

I hate making him live like this. I am almost totally sure perfectly NT children do not have to live like this. I feel as if I am raising a paranoid little robot. He smiles and laughs less and says he feels sad without being able to tell me why more and more often. He stays in his room or stares quietly at the TV because these are safe activities. I hate it. They hate it. We will all have to get over it.

DS was sick yesterday. I thought it might be OK to relax the rules a little. I let him lay on the couch with his head on my leg. I petted his hair. It made him so happy, it absolutely broke my heart. I wanted to hold him there forever. We sat on the couch together and he drifted off and I cried myself to sleep.

What is wrong with this?? What is wrong with cuddling a little boy-- or a big one for that matter-- just because it's pleasant and makes everyone happy?? But we can't do it regularly lest he fail to understand and reach out to pet some little girl at school and then God only knows what will happen...

Buyer Beware, in this and other posts, I feel like you are taking things to an extreme that is not warranted. Your children's lives do not need to be devoid of physical affection for them to learn that kissing strangers in the grocery store or playing with a classmate's feet are unacceptable behaviors. Yes we have to be very clear with our kids when teaching them these life lessons but I will not under any circumstances deny my son the hugs and kisses he gets from me. Yes kids need to learn boundaries about other people's bodies but kids also very much need to know that they are loved for who they are even if who they are is different from the rest of the world. I can't help but think there has got to be some middle ground.

Part of life is context. There are places you can be loud there are places you can be quiet. There are places you can let your guard down; there are places you can't.

Home is not school. It helps your child to learn this. You don't have to make your home into a prison.