Should I drop out of COLLEGE?

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I am always frustrated. Never happy. Not a single friend made in 4 years. I feel unable to control the racing thoughts in my head (mania?). Staff is rude. I have not slept in days. My face has aged (Barely into my 20s). And I am nowhere near graduating...

I know a lot of you are going through this as well, (and I offer my thoughts to you), but today, I reached that point where I wish I get a heart attack, a stroke or an accident. I hear about people who have died from exhaustion and over work. I can't believe I am writing this but there are times I envy them since they can rest forever. It is a silly and foolish idea, but I guess I already reached that point.

Last week I worked on a report and I was going to report today. I studiously went to the library. Spent hours doing research. And I took four days off to work on my oral report. Long story short, everything possibly bad that could have happened... well... it all happened. I wanted to commit seppuku in front of the class and ask myself: "WHY?!, Why today? Why now? Just why?!" It was a terrible disaster. I had to make do with a shoddy poor presentation and I was glad when the prof just cut me and told me to stop.

And that's just one incident today. These past months everything just had to go wrong. I put a serious amount of effort into my work because I believe in the value of hard work. I put in so much effort and sleepless weekends even and I get so frustrated because something stupid just HAS to happen. My grades are awful and I get a "normal" sleep day just once a week. My head is painful and I feel so weak whenever I have to walk to class.

Maybe the diploma at the end will be worth it. No one will employ someone without a diploma, right?

Last edited by Luska on 20 Mar 2013, 3:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Do you get some kind of support at university? If not, perhaps that could help?

It depends on what field of work you want to get into. If you REALLY can't tolerate college and are at the end of your rope, then maybe dropping out is best. However, if you've spent 4 years working this hard on getting your diploma, it will be a real shame to give up on it.

Maybe it's best if you try to get more sleep. It's easier to concentrate and prevent things from going wrong when you've had a good night's sleep. That's the only thing I can really recommend.

University was a a big struggle for me. My first University was a lot like what you describe. I dropped out for a while and tried again. The second time I went to a place in Iowa called Marharishi University and it was great because they did one class at a time and everyone there was very supportive of my quirks even though I wasn't diagnosed yet. I would have stayed there until the end but I ended up getting married and moving to England and finishing online, which was okay too. You might consider your alternatives. And also, like Rebbieh says, support could help.

It took me eight years to complete my BA. I've heard that MA and PhDs are easier for us on the spectrum, and that most people found the lower levels of higher education only to be an extension of high school. So think about where you plan to go next. If you need your degree for a job or a next step on the education ladder then I'd say it's worth the struggle.

Yeah, at least support has helped me. I'm at university now and I must say that I often think about dropping out because of how overwhelming it is and because of everything going on inside my head (I'm too stubborn to actually drop out though). I get support nowadays and I'm definitely doing better now. Not good but better. I don't know what it's like at the university you're at, Luska, but here you can get support such as a mentor who helps you organise your studies, help with taking notes, extra exam time, exam in a quiet room etc. Definitely worth looking into!

Yes, it sounds like you need more sleep. It is hard to make friends or even be sociable to the staff when you are tired and cranky.

@Min27
@KateUher
@rebbieh

My university has support.

I want my degree but I feel overworked to extreme exhaustion now. Master's and PhD's seem easier for people like me on the spectrum.

Dropping out is hard. University slots are limited. If I drop out would other university's accept drop - outs? My semester is terrible and my grades are awful.

Thanks?

It sounds like you would benefit from seeing someone in the mental health services.

If you do not like something about your current university, and if it is something that cannot be changed, and you have analyzed your options, then dropping out is a rational choice.

But, definitely find another university or college, and complete your degree. Ultimately, the university degree is the primary goal, and completing it should be a top priority.. For future job prospects, career prospects, stability, etc..

Yah maybe you can take part time. Health is more important right?

unfortunately this close to the end of the semester it's likely that bad grades would seriously hurt you in the long term. If I may ask, what is your current GPA? and what are you expecting to make in your classes you're taking now?

There are quite a lot of B level "Recovery" schools that will accept people with GPA's as low as 2.0's which is a flat C average. That may be the correct path for you as those schools tend to be 'Taught only', so you're taught by actual professors rather than TA's, and the class size - teacher ratio is usually MUCH smaller than at big research schools.

Maybe you need a semester off.

The school I work at, we have plenty of students who for personal reasons have to take time away from college.

I myself am a High School student, but I am taking collage courses in my tech school. I recall the first time I went to my High School meeting my freshman year I was overhearing some kids talking about dropping out. I found out later they did indeed drop out, yet if I did what they did I would never forgive myself. I know that it is very arduous in school, collage especially. Yet I believe one must press on to achieve their desired goals. I am not taking computer networking classes in Cisco2, and my instructor clearly has mentioned to us most people will not pass and he will not let the ones who do not know the material pass. He says out of every class about three people ever do the work. I know in this class I am one of those three listed, I do not even have prior experience in computers as of 2010, yet my determination fuels my resolve to learn.

Try to manage your time better
Start a diary
Record your "objective difficulties" associated with the spectrum
For ex:

HARDSHIPS
a) I get cognitive overstimulation in the big crowd
b) I need to fight internet addiction
c) I have hardship with communication, expecially the small talk
d) I need to have "a highly structured approach" to complete work

STRENGTH
a) high intellect
b) ability to solve problems
c) ability to analyze phenomena


Make a list of things "you want" in life.
Organize them into priorities.

I have Aspergers too, and 'no friends'; but as of today I see possibility to improve by simply being organized.

Other schools accept drop outs. BUT if your grades are bad it is hard to get into a different school. It is much easier to stay with the school you attend now.

How many courses are you taking this semester? If possible you might drop 1 course to lighten up your course load. That might help with stress.

What assistance are you getting? Can you identify what areas you need help with?

You might look into meds to help you sleep. Your work will be more efficient if you are not sleep deprived. It is sometimes worth it to have a shorter than required paper but to have gotten the sleep you need for your health.

Talk to your professors about the problems you are having. Sometimes they can do things to help you, allow you to re-do assignments or work with extending due dates.

My suggestion is to talk to someone in the Student Health section/department, and explain your problems. Rather that drop out, try get a deferment or time out at least till the beginning of the next academic year.

This would give you time to sort out your problems and work out what you want to do.

Doing it this way should be easier than dropping out and then trying to get admitted to another university.