Page 1 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Taverson
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 433

22 Mar 2013, 6:59 pm

I emerge from my most recent stay in a psych ward to ask men to complement women with no design or scheme behind it. Just a serious complement, no strings attached.

I used to be so shy around women. Wait, I still am! But I've been trying to make women feel beautiful by complementing them on their hair, their nails, etc. --- NOT their breasts, or their rear, or anything that can be portrayed as sexual (i.e. legs, thighs, lips, etc.)

I haven't been doing it long enough to see if it makes me any less shy, but I really enjoy the freedom I feel to complement women without having to feel embarrassed about it.

What dost thou thinkest?


_________________
In the end, all you can hope for is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through.


JanuaryMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,359

22 Mar 2013, 7:06 pm

A very decent proposal :) I don't think it would make me feel any better about myself, but as you say there's no strings attached.



ArrantPariah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2012
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,972

22 Mar 2013, 9:50 pm

Suppose you knew a chick who just got a boob job. You're not supposed to compliment her?



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Mar 2013, 10:29 pm

i complimented a woman on the artistry of her nail polish application, and she turned around and said i was sexually harrassing her. this could not be any further from the truth as she was not what i considered attractive, otherwise. i strongly suspect that if i looked like brad pitt, i would have gotten a totally different reaction.



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

23 Mar 2013, 12:02 am

auntblabby wrote:
i complimented a woman on the artistry of her nail polish application, and she turned around and said i was sexually harrassing her. this could not be any further from the truth as she was not what i considered attractive, otherwise. i strongly suspect that if i looked like brad pitt, i would have gotten a totally different reaction.


Whether that's true or not...I don't know. I do know that was a ridiculous reaction. You never know how someone is going to react to a compliment. Shouldn't stop you from doing it though. You just have to realize there some stupid folks out there.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

23 Mar 2013, 12:04 am

when that happened, my boss at the time read me the riot act, so i promised her i'd stay silent even if her hands were on fire.



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

23 Mar 2013, 12:07 am

auntblabby wrote:
when that happened, my boss at the time read me the riot act, so i promised her i'd stay silent even if her hands were on fire.


just let them char until there's nothing left. :twisted:



Declension
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,807

23 Mar 2013, 12:53 am

Taverson wrote:
But I've been trying to make women feel beautiful by complementing them on their hair, their nails, etc. --- NOT their breasts, or their rear, or anything that can be portrayed as sexual (i.e. legs, thighs, lips, etc.)


Not sure about this. The difference between "sexual" and "non-sexual" is all to do with context, not body parts.

If a man is interested in a woman, then everything about the woman can be sexual to the man, including hair and nails. That's one reason why hair colouring and nail polish exist.

And the opposite is also true - if a woman is sure that a man is not interested (e.g. the woman knows that the man is gay), then the man can even complement the woman's breasts without there being sexual overtones.



nebrets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 842
Location: Texas

23 Mar 2013, 12:53 am

I think that is reasonable. Personally I find it very unsettling and weird when a guy (or other girls) complements me out of the blue about my eyes or hair, or shirt, or shoes. Sometimes it is flirting and I recognize it as such (not always recognize it, but getting better) and that makes me feel weird as I do not know if and how I should respond. Sometimes it is just a complement, they really liked ... whatever. It still makes me, personally feel weird.

HOWEVER, I see this behavior done frequently so I think it is a great idea for you to do. keep it up. Some people might become flustered but I do not think anyone should respond rudely to you.


_________________
__ /(. . )


IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

23 Mar 2013, 1:43 am

I was at a sandwich shop and the employee complimented me on my lipstick color. NO BIG DEAL!! IMO. I told him thank you and thought to myself that I'd made a good color selction. I thought nothing sexual about the comment. I think some people go WAAAY overboard. Get over yourself already! It's just nail polish, lipstick or whatever. Now if he had said "That color looks super sexy on you". I may have thought a little more about it. Even then it wouldn't bother me too much.



Wrackspurt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

23 Mar 2013, 2:12 am

auntblabby wrote:
i complimented a woman on the artistry of her nail polish application, and she turned around and said i was sexually harrassing her. this could not be any further from the truth as she was not what i considered attractive, otherwise. i strongly suspect that if i looked like brad pitt, i would have gotten a totally different reaction.


Wow, what a horrible experience. 8O Too bad you didn't finish your ^ thoughts you shared with us at the time. :lol:



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

23 Mar 2013, 2:32 am

Wrackspurt wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i complimented a woman on the artistry of her nail polish application, and she turned around and said i was sexually harrassing her. this could not be any further from the truth as she was not what i considered attractive, otherwise. i strongly suspect that if i looked like brad pitt, i would have gotten a totally different reaction.


Wow, what a horrible experience. 8O Too bad you didn't finish your ^ thoughts you shared with us at the time. :lol:

i did relay my subsequent experience getting called on the carpet in my boss' office, who read me the riot act over the woman's accusations, and i promised my boss that henceforth i would keep silent about every woman there even if their hands were on fire. luckily my [female] boss understood my aspieness and found humor in this.



Ann2011
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,843
Location: Ontario, Canada

23 Mar 2013, 4:15 pm

Taverson wrote:
I used to be so shy around women. Wait, I still am! But I've been trying to make women feel beautiful by complementing them on their hair, their nails, etc. --- NOT their breasts, or their rear, or anything that can be portrayed as sexual (i.e. legs, thighs, lips, etc.)

I haven't been doing it long enough to see if it makes me any less shy, but I really enjoy the freedom I feel to complement women without having to feel embarrassed about it.

I guess I have to ask why you want to make them feel beautiful. Personally, I don't like getting compliments from anyone. I feel objectified by it.
I'm not sure of the context of your examples, but I would say if it's in the workplace, it's a bad idea.
I think by complimenting someone on something, you are making a judgement about them; it's presumptuous to assume that the person wants to hear your opinion.



UnLoser
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 655

23 Mar 2013, 4:39 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
I think by complimenting someone on something, you are making a judgement about them; it's presumptuous to assume that the person wants to hear your opinion.


...Are you kidding me? Seriously? Couldn't I say the exact same thing to you right now about your opinion?

Sorry, but I can't stand hearing you criticize someone for giving well-intentioned compliments



Ann2011
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,843
Location: Ontario, Canada

23 Mar 2013, 4:48 pm

UnLoser wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
I think by complimenting someone on something, you are making a judgement about them; it's presumptuous to assume that the person wants to hear your opinion.


...Are you kidding me? Seriously? Couldn't I say the exact same thing to you right now about your opinion?

Sorry, but I can't stand hearing you criticize someone for giving well-intentioned compliments

I'm not criticizing his intentions. I'm just pointing out how it might be taken. And yes, you could say the same thing about my opinion.



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

23 Mar 2013, 4:52 pm

UnLoser wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
I think by complimenting someone on something, you are making a judgement about them; it's presumptuous to assume that the person wants to hear your opinion.


...Are you kidding me? Seriously? Couldn't I say the exact same thing to you right now about your opinion?

Sorry, but I can't stand hearing you criticize someone for giving well-intentioned compliments


I agree. I think genuine compliments are kind and can give someone a boost. There's too much criticism and snide remarks in the world already. If people don't like them or they make someone feel uncomfortable, fair enough, we are all different, but don't shoot someone down for having a well-meaning intention.