Question for Male aspies.

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Do you care about what is traditionally considered "masculine" or into machismo or any of that kind of stuff?

I never have been. Never been into sports, cars, being all "ro-rah" about things etc. as such it's hard for me to relate to other men and kind of always felt like an outcast. I have always been made fun of for not being into typical guy stuff and as such been hard to make guy friends.

No, I have never cared about "appearing" masculine. I like things on merit. It does not matter to me if the things I like are considered "masculine" or "feminine". It only matters that I enjoy them. I think "machismo" behavior is silly and immature -- and, more to the point, unnecessarily self-limiting.

My experience in life is pretty much the same as the OP's.

I'm not particularly feminine or anything, but I don't like being expected to play the typical/traditional male role. I'm not into sports, cars etc. I don't like the typical male exchange of banter/jokes, by which they seem to be trying to show how masculine they are. I feel very uncomfortable when other males engage in such things. I don't care about how I'm perceived and sometimes behave against such expectations. That, combined with my other weird ways, earns me some unpopularity. That really shows how hypocritical people are. People talk about how liberal, understanding and accepting they are and say they value diversity etc, but their action shows the opposite.

NO. I find men considered to be "macho" or, insultingly, "real men" to be quite pathetic.

These people are often arrogant, shallow-minded conformists who resolve everything with violence, are disrespectful to women, and generally behave like total a***holes while being viewed by many as good people.

Why would anyone want to be like this?

Off and on, yes. But I'm inconsistent and/or do a bad job at it.

No because all i have seen that says "masculinity" seems ret*d.

My male Aspie friend does.

Not appropriate for this site.

Your OPINION is noted.

Oh come on. No need to be all PC. I say things are ret*d all the time, it has nothing to do with me making fun of mentally challenged people.

What's with the attitude? All I'm saying is that we shouldn't be using "ret*d" as a pejorative term, because it implies that people who are ret*d are somehow inferior to those who aren't, and as a group which faces similar prejudice in society, it's bad form for one of us to behave in this way.

People with disabilities face enough prejudice in life, so please don't add to that by using this kind of language. You could easily have used a word which doesn't imply inferiority of a certain neurotype.

You're wrong there. The word refers to mentally challenged people, so, to use it as a pejorative term definitively does imply that they are inferior.

I agree with Kuribo; that language is not really appropriate here or anywhere. Although I won't waste my breath trying to convince those who consider that to be "political correctness gone awry" otherwise.

No, I never really cared much about that stuff. That's probably why I made it all the way through school without ever getting in a fight, as the "tough guys" didn't see me as a challenge at all, and I couldn't have cared less if they felt physically superior, or if girls saw them as stronger and manlier than I. It probably would bother me if I appeared outstandingly un-masculine, as I think it would affect how my wife sees me. She likes that I'm a gentleman and not a "tough-guy", but she also wants a man for a husband, and not a wimp.

As it happens, I have masculine interests and occupation, so I don't think it's even an issue anymore at my age (mid 40s). I'm a bodybuilder, and wear normal men's work clothes most of the time, and I ride motorcycles and can also come across as a "typical" construction worker if I want to, as I do a lot of that kind of work around our ranch.

Charles

Last edited by kx250rider on 23 Mar 2013, 10:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Until I came to WP I didn't know that the r-word could be hurtful to some. There have been some posts and even a thread about it. Some have painful memories from school days of being called r-word. So I personally would avoid using that word, knowing how it could hurt some people, but I don't intend to tell others what to do.

Any way, let us continue with the OP's topic. I repeat myself. No, I don't care.

I never gave it a thought, and I'll be careful. That word has many uses in daily conversation, such as when a clock is wrong (advanced or ret*d), and of course with mechanical engine timing. I do see how it could be offensive to use it to describe something scornfully, such as "That movie was (R-word)". That would be nearly as bad to use among the Autism community as using a racially-charged word in describing some kind of work that was done substandard. And we wouldn't say that something a politician just said on TV is a "BIG FAT LIE", if we're in a weigh-watchers meeting.

Honestly, and in my own opinion, it's not the word (or any other word which can be used to belittle someone)... It's the thought behind it. I'm not offended or or hurt by any words. I think the reason that the "R" word is a hot button with the moderators and some members here, is that it's one that was used as a nasty word intentionally against the Autism community frequently.

Charles