Friend loss

Post Reply New Topic

Can I just say that losing a best friend is incredibly hard? I have lost several really close friends in the last 3 years and sometimes the feeling is mutual but now that I'm realizing I'm on the Autism spectrum (I kind of guessed for years but purposefully avoided looking up information) it kind of makes me feel like maybe I should have tried harder with taking my friends back. I have one best friend who I no longer talk to, we had a huge fight and afterwards I guess she forgave me (mutual friend informed me she's okay now) but I've been so pissed off that she even dropped me as a friend in the first place. I mean, yes I can understand that sending two days worth of texts wasn't fun to her but I not once swore or called her names. I didn't make it personal... It was very "here, are the facts man." She called me names and said I was a horrible friend and then told me no more texts and blocked me on FB. It was a really dramatic exit stage right. I still think she was utterly wrong in her argument. It's been 8 months since I saw her last and considering we're both stubborn asses I'm sure it could go on indefinitely.

Every other friend I have been able to resolve issues and be friends again. My truly best friend told me after I started hanging with her again that it would probably never be the same friendship as it was before we were room-mates but now she loves me again and we hang out as much as I want to. But that one was so stupid because the problem with our friendship was we can't EVER live together. You know?

That's been the hardest for me. One day having a friend and then 3 days later wondering WTF happened? Oh well, C'est la vie.

I know the feeling I have been thrown away by people throughout my life and by my best friend from high school who was more like my brother than my own brother but it hurts no less how many times it happens

I had to end it with my best friend a few days ago so this post really hits home to me. It was incredibly hard as I loved her (and always will) more than anyone else I have ever known and allowed her the keys to my soul. Even worse is that she was one of my special interests and I made her my world. She was the one person in my life that made me feel almost normal as far as the emotions she made me feel because I actually gave a damn about her and really cared.

I will not go into details of why I had to end it because it just hurts to much to think about, but after sticking around and dealing with certain things for 5 years I finally had no choice. It's killing me, though. She will always be the one that stole my heart.

To make a long story short, yeah, losing your best friend (especially one of such magnitude as mine was to me) is absolutely devastating and I feel for anyone who has to go through it.

What's this friend thingy you speak of? Kinda sounds like they're more trouble than they're worth. Steven King wrote in one of his books that, "friends come and go in you life like waiters in restaurants". Or something like that. I've only been able to form friendships with "first degree" relatives. I had a fairly strong friendship with a cousin who's like a brother that lasted twenty years until we had a falling out. However, I think my new closest friend is going to be his daughter (my "niece") who's an adult now. She's probably going to get married this year and hopefully they'll let me be kind of an extension of their family as the years progress. Family is all I can really count on when it comes to any kind of friendship or relationship.

I find that I am too trusting and that I automatically assume the people I meet are friends once a basic relationship has started. Then comes the inevitable realisation that it is very one sided. Other than my loving and supportive wife I have no one I can call my friend. My childrens school is my only social outlet and the mums and dads are very quick to forget you once they have no need for you. They are more than happy toss you aside until they want something. I dont need them but they are pretty much all I have and therefore hang on in hope.....

I don't even know if I have ever had a true friend in my life. There have been times when I thought I had friends, but then I always got reminded that maybe they weren't really friends. Or was it my AS doing its job? I feel I'm destined to never have a friend because I'm mentally disabled and never connect with anyone. I certainly love and trust my parents and siblings. So at least I have them, but no one else.

My most recent "friend loss" was at work. I don't even know if he really was a friend any more. We were "friends" for a few years. He confided in me about many things. Last year he got very angry with me about something that I don't quite understand (something about me being rude or something). He has always been and is a very angry kind of person. He had been angry and complaining about many people. So finally it was directed at me. He turned into an enemy. He actually actively sabotages my work now. Sadly I can't even feel he's worth making up with, seeing his rather psycho behavior. It is sad to be reminded that I'm after all not capable of having friends. So I don't think it's actually losing a friend, but being incapable of having a friend.

Sorry I only talked about myself again.

I can only connect to my immediate family. I can't even connect to my nieces and nephew -- I don't really talk to them at family get-togethers and they have learned to not talk to me.
At work, I notice how many people are friends and they go out to lunches every day and they socialize outside of work as well. I rarely go to lunches with them. In fact, I'm certain many of them hate me, as I complain about noises they make from time to time. I'm very sensitive to noise. When you are sensitive to noise, you can't have friends. Even if you do, you lose them faster than you can make them.