Rejection and Abuse by Disabled Former Friend
I would like to get the take of other people on the spectrum about this. I have a girl I used to be really close friends with. About 3 1/2 years ago I told her I was in love and she didnt feel the same way so we moved on but remained friends. She also has very noticable cerebral palsy that affects how she walks and her balance. Over time we had fights but I eventually moved on from any feelings for her. She became increasingly nasty and abusive towards me and continued to berate and belittle me. She also chased men who were not interested in her and as made up fantasies about all these guys wanting her despite being in her late 20's and never having had a boyfriend. She is convinced men all want her even when they say they dont. She has made it clear she thinks I'm beneath her (even though I'm a lawyer) and that I'm not where she deems I should be in my career in my 30's. Finally a few months back I was staying with her and she contiuned to just keep being verbally abusive and I snapped and said things to her too. Eventually she told me to get down on my hands and knees and beg and started kicking me screaming that she was a good person and why did I make her do this. She then later said she couldnt accept my disability and refused to accept the fact that I did not have the same opportunites to address things as a child she did since I was diagnosed at 18 and she was at 3. A lot of people have said she still has not come to terms with her CP and wants to be normal and cant accept that men see her differently so she abuses me for having wanted her when most other men don't. Any thoughts?
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Yeah, my thought is why would you indulge her in her BS by getting down on your hands and knees and begging? That's completely ridiculous. I couldn't imagine being attracted to someone who behaved this way towards you. Friends/acquaintances, maybe, but that's a whole type of crazy I wouldn't want anything to do with.
And yeah, it sounds like she has some self-acceptance issues for sure. Again, nothing I'd want to involve myself with romantically and have to deal with - especially since these things may never change. F..orget that.
_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Dude, It's time to move on. Trying to have a relationship with someone who lives fantasies as a coping mechanism will not work. She isn't in touch with herself. Becoming abusive toward someone who spoils a coping mechanism is common, but not justified. I feel for her, in that she has a debilitating health issue. However, I doubt you are doing her any good. Good luck.
Disability or not, she sounds functional enough to know what she's doing is WRONG and would NOT like if someone did the same to her.
Some people simply can't or won't learn that lesson though.
Do NOT subject yourself to this abuse, or get wrapped up in her cruel, twisted world.
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