Issue's letting go of a past relationship.

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I'm new here to the forums and am not used to searching for advice in this way but I feel the need to see if anyone may have advice I can use. Simply put my current issue is that I can't seem to stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend in a romantic sense and it is quite frankly irritating. We broke up about 3 years ago and had been together for about 4 years. Currently I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman and have been for the past 2 years. We have a fairly good relationship considering my as and how difficult it has made things. I know I need to let go but I seem to be incapable of doing so and I dislike not being able to for the sake of my current relationship since it causes me turmoil. I do believe it doesn't help that my ex and me are still friends although distantly,she lives in AK and me PA. I also wonder if without fully realizing it she became one of my fixations and that's why even now I find it so difficult that I can't interact like I used to? I'm fairly bad at explaining things about myself so if more clarification is needed just ask please. Mainly I'm wondering if other people have ever encountered this issue and how they may have handled it or if anyone either way had any advice regarding my situation.

Yes, it has happened to me only when I was younger though(teens) and short-sighted. For example, I would start new relationships and still be in love with the same guy for maybe a long time. It was because I didn't value what I had at the time ands always kept wishing for more, looking back I consider it selfish to not value what was in front of me. Finally, when I learned the hard way that when things are gone that's when you realize you needed them/ valued them. After learning to appreciate what I had in the moment I was able to tell mysef that the past is past and to just leave it there. After I accepoted the past as simply past to never return, i was able to focus on current relationships and what I had in the moment. It requires a total change of mind and attitude to not look back at the past.

Well, yes, some of this.

I am doing this at the moment, but I am recovering from a (Physiologically) abusive relationship. When I realized that (really really realized) I had to change my frame of mind to accept that it is the past and I am not going back. This is a very conscious process for me, it is a logical decision I am taking and deciding to do so. This is apparently not the way "normal" people think but I need the logic and "active" thinking. Unfortunately it also means that I am closing off a large part of my former life behind locked doors (this is probably not entirely healthy but I have to deal with that later).

As I said, this is probably not normal, deciding to no longer have feelings for a person?? but I have a friend with AS and he knows where i am coming from and is doing some of the same logical thinking.

Now - one year after - I can truly say that I no longer love the man who was the love of my life. I don´t even really care about him either.

I didn't even have to read the rest, this is your problem.

Oh, I know how you feel. My ex gf left me too. and I still haven't gotten over her. I still wish, she didn't leave. I wish I was a better person back then.
I think about my ex everyday. Today I thought about her, and how ''perfect'' she was too me. and How I was so lucky to met someone like her.
I wish she would take me back, but she made her decision, and she not going to take me back, but I still wish she would change her mind.

everyday I wish my ex, would return to me. but I have no control what happens.