What do you think of people with autism/aspergers?

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Before you read on I honestly do not mean to offend anyone, if anyone feels offended I apologize ahead of time. If a mod thinks I can get the same message across and obtain the answers I'm looking for feel free to edit my words.

I was told of possibly having it. Consequently I was invited to a college class which deals with people with special needs to help them cope and learn skills that deals with being in college.

I spent the time observing people in the classroom and after the class I decided to have a conversation with the one person I thought seemed to most normal during the class.

I couldn't believe how annoying and ret*d everyone else was acting. I was wondering "Do people see me act that way sometimes?" Even the one person I chose to talk to after class. I left him thinking "I should have chose someone else to talk to"

I would like to know if people who have been diagnosed with the disease think the same way about their peers.

Now I probably have a bias against autism/aspergers. But I was mislead to what the class was about. I thought it was an average "introduction to college" class, until everyone began to talk. So that bias didn't come into mind until half way through the class.

Yeah, I thought a lot of the autistic kids I went to special school with were "ret*ds". I remember once when 3 or 4 of them were batting the same word back and forth they thought was funny, and I smugly said to the teacher, "I love the stuff they come up with". The teacher replied, "they?". As in he didn't see me as being much different. I have two nephews close in age. One I always liked the other not so much. When I look back on it, the one I didn't like so much displayed aspie qualities and reminded me too much of myself.

If I were to say to you "I don't mean to offend you or anything, but I think that you're a worthless piece of vermin s**t who deserves to be slowly drowned to death in a mixture of Hydrogen Peroxide and his own blood while being pounded with bricks by a jeering crowd", would you be any less offended? I think not.

I am not implying that your post is anywhere near that serious, but my point is that you're little "no offence" thing is merely a pathetic attempt to avoid being flamed for making an offensive post. It's both cowardly and pathetic.

I advise you not to do this in the future, as it will often just provoke a more aggressive response from people.



It seems to me that you didn't give anyone who wasn't "normal" a chance. Does being a nice person matter?! NO, of course not, because as long as someone does exactly as everyone else does, they're worthy of being acknowledged or spoken to. How very shallow.

It disappoints me that you aren't even willing to give people a chance.



"Annoying and ret*d" ... You haven't given us any context there at all. All you have done is implied that you disapprove of Autistic quirks, and made fun of mentally ret*d people, which, alone, warrants this post being reported to a moderator.



I am very offended that you, someone who doesn't yet know if they are Autistic, and, evidently, someone who isn't very well informed about it, have implied that I am diseased. This might also warrant moderator attention.

I don't know you, and so cannot make an accurate judgement of your character, but going on this post alone, you seem to me like an ignorant, judgemental, cowardly, and arrogant person, and this makes me sad. I hope that one day, you will be able to change your ways.

Kuribo, I think you are being a little too upset. If OP has AS then don't forget tact is not a strong point.

Until I found out about autism and it being a spectrum, I'm sure I had some misconceptions. OP is probably unaware that even people who appear "ret*d" are not necessarily so, they may be somewhat trapped in their own worlds and express themselves in a way that can cause misconceptions.

I do think mixing high and low functioning autistic people for such a purpose isn't necessarily the most ideal way for either level of functioning because they may have different needs.

Having autism yourself, doesn't mean you are clued up on what it is and how it affects people, or why there are different behaviours. Autism doesn't equal expertise, it doesn't equal being the same as every other autistic person and it doesn't equal having a great personality. We are all different and can still have ignorance and misperceptions the same as anyone.

Is responding in such a volatile manner likely to help educate OP, or encourage him to rethink his perspective?

I have to agree with kuribo. Going to an autism forum and asking basically if we are all ret*d morons seems more than a lack of tact. I am socially impaired, but I have enough sense not to go on a professional golfer's forum and ask if they think golf is as stupid and boring as I do. Having an opinion about something or someone is fine. Going on a public forum for people who already have enough social issues and people looking down on them is more than bad taste. If one has a hard time accepting their diagnosis, attacking others with it is childish and stupid. And I feel no real compulsion to coddle stupidity and bigotry.

I am not particularly upset. I just strongly disapprove of pretty much everything diff has written.

I don't believe that this is an issue to do with tact, it's more to do with ignorance, shallowness, and perhaps a touch of arrogance on his part. If you'd like me to extract specific examples from the post, please ask.



That's understandable, but my issue is with the OP's use of the word "ret*d" as a pejorative term. This is never acceptable on an Autism forum.



I agree with you, but it sounds like the OP just disregarded them without giving them a chance.



Yes, but it is very tiresome and irritating when someone makes judgemental comments about Autistic people without being fully informed.



I don't think my post was exceptionally volatile. I am a little annoyed, but I think that all of my points were valid.

OP is an unusual case. Reading his 4 posts to date, one gets the impression that there is a DX, and someone "detoured" him to some sort of remedial college preperation class.

There's not nearly enough information in OP's post to make any conclusions past that, but I'd say this is a case of modern writing skills mixed with a lack of information on a confusing topic.

I am certainly no mod, but I think I see some questions in your post that may be obscured by an unfortunate and deliberately provocative presentation. The fact that you begin with a disclaimer about your intention indicates that you wrote this with full awareness that it would offend, and your motivation for doing this may be an interesting avenue for you to explore.

I would paraphrase your questions this way:

I went to a group with other people said to be like me. I found their behavior disturbing and worried, "Do people see me act that way sometimes?"

I am wondering if other people with forms of autism on WP have had a similar reaction and asked the same question?

I might conjecture that you decided to express yourself in a way likely to offend so that you could create conflict that would put additional distance between yourself and the peer group you fear to be a member of. But I recognize that I am speculating with too little information.

My honest answer to those questions is: yes, I worry about how weird I may seem. I have spent decades trying to be as normal as possible and I think have been quite successful in that pursuit, but I cannot erase the long and bitter experience of childhood and youth when I was immediately recognized as an unacceptable outcaste in almost every situation and consequently teased, bullied and beaten. That horrible experience provides me with a deep well of fear and anxiety which sometimes intrudes irrationally in my adult life, despite the many years that have passed. So yes, I sometimes see others behaving oddly and fear that I may be seen as odd in a similar way.

However, I also recognize that there are aspects of the challenges "those people" face that are very, very close to the issues that trouble me most. The obvious one is in those times when something political is happening at work and I am the last to know that it's going on and never really understand it. The less obvious one is in the area of executive functioning, when my systematizing brain helps me see processes and patterns that make me very good at planning, but my real deficits in organizational ability and time management make it hard for me to execute those plans in anything but a highly idiosyncratic way, making me a poor team player.

I find that the kinship I feel over these issues is far stronger than any fear I may feel over being identified with "those people" -- even when their presentation is very strongly autistic. It is also very interesting to read the thoughts of people who can't speak and discover that their inward patterns of thinking are so familiar.

I hope you find some peace with yourself and suggest that if you have to begin "I don't mean to offend" then you probably should not post, but wait and find a more positive way to rephrase your question.

Before I even knew what AS was, I thought nothing of it. I had never seen anyone with it so I wouldn't have an opinion about people with it. But however, when Mom started telling me what people with it are really like who have the worst case of it, I just thought they were all rude and selfish people and don't care about others. I was so glad I was a nice person and not a mean person thanks to have little AS. Then I remembered this boy in my elementary school and I realized he may have been autistic but maybe it was actually AS. He was a loner and didn't seem to understand anything that was said to him and he didn't even try and figure stuff out by watching others and copy them. Like the time the bus driver said on the bus the bus stop the kids go to will no longer be going to that bus stop and she told them where they would be waiting for the bus from now on. I didn't understand the instructions either but it didn't matter because I didn't live in that neighborhood. But if I did, I would have just walked around the neighborhood looking to see where other kids are waiting for the bus and then I would know that is where the new bus stops are. This boy didn't do that and I didn't feel surprised because it was so typical him to not even try and figure things out. Also he seems self centered and selfish and he would ignore you when he talk to you and he didn't care about other peoples stuff. I would assume he was severe. I knew he was different and had something and wasn't normal and I was a light version of him except I was more normal. So that was my thought of the boy with it before I even knew what AS was.


Now what do I think of people with it, I think they are just normal people and they are capable of being mean and bad like everyone else and capable of being jerks and having their own feelings and opinions like everyone else. Some of them are nice people and some are just jerks. They also have their own personalities like everyone else.

I have to agree with this as well. I've had experience with being mocked and made fun of, and it was not pleasant; needless to say, I'm a bit sensitive whenever I perceive that I'm once again being judged as being crazy or "ret*d".

Well being one myself I think we're all ret*d and annoying , there is that what you wanted to hear?

I think OPs approach was insensitive and misguided, but he needs to be at least given a chance to learn the facts and develop a better attitude.

I was once suffering depression and was sent to an appointment at a psychiatrists, I was 17 years old and terrified. I was sat there in a waiting room with all these what I felt were "crazies". Their overt behaviour made me feel threatened and vulnerable (and there was no visible staff member overseeing the area) and I was about to get up and walk out when I was finally called in. It was incredibly stressful, and I thought "why on earth did they put me here, I'm nothing like all these mentally ill people" - although of course depression is a mental illness I didn't know that then. No doubt if anyone had asked me at that point what I thought about those other patients, I would have said something that many would consider offensive, but it would have been due to youth, fear and ignorance.

I didn't take anything offensive in what was posted. I have apologized in advance when I am unsure of I am getting my point across or unsure how to word something. As for this actual thread - I have been exactly in this situation. I have met aspies and wondered.. is that how I come off??? Surely NOT!

But I feel like such a nerd.. I also have people talking down to me at work like I can't understand normal speech at times or I am two and not almost 40. So surely... I MUST come off that way.

Ignorance can be bliss and when your eyes finally open.. you are not always the best in expressing it. I was not offended at all in this post... and the people who were... Feels a tad over sensitive from my point of view.

My son and I tell each other... "you big dork" and smack the back of each others head after saying it... it is our way to say I love you so much. The feelings we have in it are one of fun and joy. We get lots of bad looks in public for this... just shows how the same words can be differently perceived to many people even though we are laughing and hugging after.

My impression of the opening post is that rather than offending/insulting other members, he simply wanted to express how surprised/shocked he was to see what people with AS/autism were like, because he might possibly have it, too. And probably he can't believe that he could possibly be one of them. That's why he is asking others on WP how they actually see their fellow people with AS/autism. That might give him some insight.

If you read it in that way, it may not necessarily be that offensive. Of course, certain words/expressions can offend, but I really don't think that offending is his true intention. I sometimes wonder myself if I might have offended someone without realizing it because of my ignorance.

I can only think of one example where I actively disliked someone. When we butted heads over something really stupid (parking spots), I eventually had an "oh crap" moment--I was presenting the same behavior that I found annoying with him. . So my response would be, yes there's a good chance you are that annoying and ret*d sometimes (or at least perceived that way by other people). Taking a little time to understand other people's POV might change your outlook on that.

I don't think I've ever thought about anybody as "annoying and ret*d".

What did those other people do that was annoying?

What does the word "ret*d" mean to you?