New and lonely

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Im stuck in the kitchen....again....cant go and sit down in my lounge because theres more than 2 people in there, i will feel suffocated if i try. Im 41, i know ive got Aspergers, jus waiting for the diagnosis. Im tired of analysing and apologising, panicing and crashing, my attempts to please and be "normal" are exhausting. Just for once, it would be nice to be me and not who they want or think i should be. The problem is i dont think that they would actually like the real me..... The blatent truth about everything i see and feel would be there for them all to see and so its easier to be a perfectly presented picture of what they want.
Because of how i am i have spent my life as a victim of abuse, an easy target because of my self imposed solitude and my fear of defending myself. Ive always been different and justified other peoples actions, excusing their bad behaviour towards me because i felt in someway i deserved it. I never dreamed that i could possibly be one of so many. I dont want to simply exist anymore, im ready to start breathing the oxygen of a like-minded atmosphere, hello beautiful people

Welcome aboard!

Welcome. Hopefully this community of ours will help to ease your mind - we're very helpful!

I have recently joined myself, and I know how you feel, I also find it easier to act because I know people are unlikely to react well to my true self. I have never in my life been the kind of person to join forums or try and connect with people (because I fear the result will always be disappointment and exhaustion), but with wrongplanet it's different, I really feel comfortable here. It's a pleasure to meet you Pixie247!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you all for welcoming me. Ive kept myself a secret for so long, ive always been on the outside looking in, its comforting to finally find a place where i belong

Hi Pixie,

I am around your age and only just got diagnosed recently, so I know how you are feeling. I think you will find people around here will understand you.

Welcome

Welcome