Can Aspies have friends of same age/go out clubbing?

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I wanted to ask this because I've known possible Aspies to have abilities to be socially active and dress up and go out to bars and drink and dance with their peers on a regular basis.

My cousin (22) was always very Aspie-like at school, had trouble mixing, and had narrow obsessions with electrical objects, and had some unusual behaviour, and it wasn't nothing to do with his upbringing because he has a sister who was OK and his mum was worried and got in touch with a family support worker to talk to about the concerns of her son, and they both wondered if he might have AS, but he never got diagnosed. He seemed very Aspie-like to me aswell, but because he knew I had it, he tried to cover it up by acting like he was ''normal'' and I was the one with the problem and he wasn't, type of thing. But now he is a young adult, he seems to have more of an active social life than me. OK, maybe he has never had a girlfriend, but he has a group of mates of the same age, and goes out and does a lot with them. I know he does, because I've seen pictures on Facebook, of him a night bars surrounded by other boys, all looking like they're having a good time, and also I've seen pictures of him out with a group of mates in the day too, going shopping or to the cinema.

Has he suddenly ''grown out'' of his possible Aspie traits? Or could he still be Aspie, but is good at covering it up and perhaps has met the right sort of people who have accepted him? To me, that sounds like he's quite lucky there. I am female and only have mild AS, but although my AS itself isn't obvious to other people, my oddness and nervousness is quite obvious. I really don't understand. Is there anyone here that goes out clubbing with your peers? How come I don't have a crowd of young people to go out with?

Hey,

I can go out to the club and have a good time yes.
Sadly, it's my (few) friends that don't like to go dance, so we end up in bars.
I would say if dancing etc. is something you like, it's like any other interest & we can go for it.

It probably needs some age though, bf you can handle it.

Yes, but usually friends of the opposite gender. Friends of the same gender can take me to the club scene, but it's usually done in a very patronizing way. Usually it's a "let's get him laid" type of thing even though I've been "laid" far more than average for my age. I function best when I am "one of the girls" basically along as a sort of gay friend. The girls are not patronizing to me at all typically.

I imagine aspie women could hang out with guys in a similar way. Our own genders judge us too harshly; thus, it's best to hang out more with the other gender.

I've done it, I have no issue!

I quit going to bars and clubs. I can't handle the noise. If we go some where quiet I'm ok.

AS is not contra-indicated by going to bars and/or clubs.

I've gone to them a couple times in my life. They're noisy, crowded sensory hells. I did not enjoy them in the least.

All my friends are of my same age. I think this is because I've never had the opportunity to socialize with older people.
I don't hang out with them much though (just twice or three times per year, I guess).
I usually don't go dancing, because I don't like dancing, and the music would be too loud for me to bear it.
I've gone two times to a fair with a friend this year, and I've gone out once with my martial arts group to eat an ice cream.

lol yep, people on WP often act like going out to a bar/club is supposed to be the epitome of an NT based activity for some reason.

No bars, no clubbing for me. (Unless I'm drunk and someone drags me there).

The impact of social exclusion, Aspies are often not invited to attend.

I didn't mean it like that, but I have a lot of adult cousins (aged between 18 and 27) and they are all into going out on Friday or Saturday nights with their peers, dressing up and going to some sort of bar. Not all of them necessarily drink, and not all of them necessarily do it every week-end, but they've got it a damn sight more than I've ever done it, and they're all NTs. I'm the only Aspie in the family (I would be, wouldn't I ), and I'm the only one that would rather sit in my room Friday and Saturday nights, and just the thought of going out fills me with fear and dread. I didn't know if that was to do with having AS, or if I would have disliked all that sort of thing whether I had AS or not.

Also I was just wondering if you can have AS and also have friends of your age and go out to clubs like the majority of young people do. I'm glad some people here on the spectrum do, because that means that I do have the chance of going out to a bar with a group of people of my age if the opportunity came along (if I was included and liked enough to be wanted).

I would love to go to a bar, party, concert etc.
But i wont know what to do there...
i will be like fish out of water
very quite, standing in a corner, just giving a odd smile
it would be fun to go with friends
but i am not able to make friends
and even i am able to make then its with odd people who are reserved,
recluse and dont socialise much

so given all that i am at home most of the time

I used to go a lot when I was younger. I've been part of a "crowd" before and it was pretty fun. Of course sometimes I just wanted time to myself and then I would stay home, which worked well because I lived wayyyyy on the other side of town from my friends and where we hung out at.

^^^

What he said. I generally go with guys who are already acquaintances, although sometimes a group of girls will invite me to join their group once I get to the club and are generally very nice to me. I usually go to a particular kinds of clubs that I am comfortable with, and I go on a fairly regular basis.

A friend took me out to some "normal" clubs not too long ago. It was an interesting experience, but people were far too drunk and danced far too badly for my liking, although it was fun going with him. If it was just normal clubs I wouldn't go to often, it's kind of tiring even though he doesn't tire me, just the other people.

Joe, if you don't have a group of friends to go out with, have you tried making friends with foreigners who are new to the country and have been there for less than 2 years? Many foreigners will assume that our aspie differences are actually cultural differences, and are more likely to accept us for that reason. It's a nice ready made assumption they make that works in your favour, and isn't harmful to anyone. They can actually teach you social rules of your own country better than natives can, because they need to be more aware of the differences and can break it down to you if you need them to.

Well, I do go to clubs with both age-appropriate members of my family and with friends, so I'd say yes, it is quite possible.

About having a crowd to go out with, well, I am lucky to have both a lot of cousins living in my city and old highschool friends who like to go clubbing and invite me to go with them; I haven't really formed bonds with anyone in college except for one person (who also likes to go out now that I think about it lol). SO basically, if you are friends with people who like going to clubs, or even acquaintances in some cases, then they are bound to invite you.