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Is she right?

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robo37
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24 Apr 2013, 4:30 pm

My ex said to me on a mutual friend's ask.fm "ALSO, IT'S YOUR OWN f*****g PROBLEM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK OUT. DICK."

Is she right?



sacrip
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24 Apr 2013, 4:42 pm

We can't possibly answer that here, but if YOU think it's true, it likely is.


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robo37
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24 Apr 2013, 4:43 pm

sacrip wrote:
We can't possibly answer that here, but if YOU think it's true, it likely is.


I don't know. It's hard to think of myself in 3rd person.



Feralucce
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24 Apr 2013, 8:55 pm

It all depends...

BUT... if there is a pattern... things ending the same way, people being alienated and complaining about the same behaviors, you may wish to engage in some self examination.

If the behaviors are examples of your aspie-ness, then you may want to adjust your targeting parameters and aim for partners who will be more accepting of these things...

If there is drama associated with the breakups... it is most likely you... a pattern of drama is almost always centered on the person who hates it the most.


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BlueMax
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24 Apr 2013, 11:03 pm

If she's the only one to think/say so, it may just be bitter resentment talking.

...but the more people say you're a dick/as*hole/b***h/just-plain-rotten-person, the more likely it may be true.



Kinme
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24 Apr 2013, 11:26 pm

BlueMax wrote:
If she's the only one to think/say so, it may just be bitter resentment talking.

...but the more people say you're a dick/as*hole/b***h/just-plain-rotten-person, the more likely it may be true.


Agreed.



robo37
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25 Apr 2013, 1:41 am

BlueMax wrote:
If she's the only one to think/say so, it may just be bitter resentment talking.

...but the more people say you're a dick/as*hole/b***h/just-plain-rotten-person, the more likely it may be true.


There's been one person in the past who had the same response. Also her friends hate me too.



Oneiros
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25 Apr 2013, 2:01 am

It's not really possible to answer this without more information about the relationship and what you were like in it.



robo37
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25 Apr 2013, 2:11 am

Oneiros wrote:
It's not really possible to answer this without more information about the relationship and what you were like in it.


I was clingy, didn't give her space.



Uprising
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25 Apr 2013, 2:24 am

Feralucce wrote:
It all depends...

BUT... if there is a pattern... things ending the same way, people being alienated and complaining about the same behaviors, you may wish to engage in some self examination.

If the behaviors are examples of your aspie-ness, then you may want to adjust your targeting parameters and aim for partners who will be more accepting of these things...

If there is drama associated with the breakups... it is most likely you... a pattern of drama is almost always centered on the person who hates it the most.

What if his problems AREN'T because of his behaviour?



Oneiros
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25 Apr 2013, 2:50 am

robo37 wrote:
Oneiros wrote:
It's not really possible to answer this without more information about the relationship and what you were like in it.


I was clingy, didn't give her space.


OK that's a good start. In your next relationship, try to be less clingy and give the girl more space. As long as you try to be aware of this tendency and try to resist it, you are doing well. We all have our weaknesses and can only work on them and try to improve ourselves. No one is perfect. And don't expect an instant fix. But with time you can change.



Feralucce
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26 Apr 2013, 12:01 pm

Uprising wrote:
Feralucce wrote:
It all depends...

BUT... if there is a pattern... things ending the same way, people being alienated and complaining about the same behaviors, you may wish to engage in some self examination.

If the behaviors are examples of your aspie-ness, then you may want to adjust your targeting parameters and aim for partners who will be more accepting of these things...

If there is drama associated with the breakups... it is most likely you... a pattern of drama is almost always centered on the person who hates it the most.

What if his problems AREN'T because of his behaviour?


please note the use of the qualifier "if." Also, please note that I used other qualifiers that are not making accusatory statements... "You may", "Most likely", "Almost always."

HOWEVER... based on these statements... IF someone finds things ending the same way... every time... THEN, it is safe to assume that there is one common denominator... HENCE the suggestions on possible plans of attack to eliminate emotional pain in the future.


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Wolfheart
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26 Apr 2013, 12:09 pm

Forget it, just because a relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a success, you can still gain something and you have grown from the relationship.



Klowglas
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26 Apr 2013, 1:42 pm

Yea I wouldn't worry too much, you seem to acknowledge your errs.... Much of being young is screwing up a hundred times till ya get it right. Really happy that you can get so far as to already having had multiple relationships. (just getting laid does a lot to help boost a young males self-esteem). Lotsa aspie guy struggle to get as far.



appletheclown
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26 Apr 2013, 2:05 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Yea I wouldn't worry too much, you seem to acknowledge your errs.... Much of being young is screwing up a hundred times till ya get it right. Really happy that you can get so far as to already having had multiple relationships. (just getting laid does a lot to help boost a young males self-esteem). Lotsa aspie guy struggle to get as far.


Exactly, if I let my asperger's make me miserable, it would never make me feel any smarter! Missed and failed opportunities are just uncomfortable learning experiences, it helps you cope with life in the big scope of things.


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appletheclown
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26 Apr 2013, 2:08 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Forget it, just because a relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a success, you can still gain something and you have grown from the relationship.


Hey Wolfheart, How many pictures of that same pose do you have?


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