Is it Common for Adults to be esp. Fond of Aspie Children?

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I was just recently diagnosed with Aspergers (at age 50).

A friend of my parents, Sam, passed away recently. Our families were close when I was young.

When I was young, I collected coins. Sam had an extensive collection of antique coins. He used to proudly show me his collection. I still have the ancient Roman coin he gave me as a youth (probably around 11 or 12).

I sent Sam’s wife a sympathy card. She replied, “Sam was especially fond of you as a young boy”.

So…as part of my diagnosis process, I documented things from my past. I particularly remember, when young, being told that certain adults (some family members and a few friends of my parents, including Sam) had a “special attachment” to me. Much more so than my siblings.

Is this common? That adults establish “special attachments” to young aspies? Just curious.

I don't know about how adults feel about autistic children in general, but I found as a child that it was easy to interact with adults and discuss my interests with them. Much easier than anyone my own age.

We commonly tend to prefer the company of adults and we are also sometimes very precocious, so adults often love us. I know that was the case with me, but it would all depend, I suppose. on how we behaved. Aspies with a lot lof acting out and meltdowns might not be as popular.

This was true for me, even as a 5 year old a 40-50ish friend would intercept me after school to go fishing in his boat, he left my NT couisn to walk home alone. Adults who knew me well(like the boat friend) would say I was more mature then meny adults they knew. If you think about it being a little professor over advanced intrests with an advanced vocabulary and sensory issues making you avoid generally annoying kid things is a good way to make an adult, in my case often older ones like you. The abillity to sit on the back of the boat for hours running a fishing rod without complaining or getting bored was surely a deal maker, this could be applyed to meny other adult actitives I took part in. I can see the stark differences between myself and the other children now, I was an adult match for sure. While not exactly children all throughout my teen years I only made friends with those over 50 years of age, meny of them childless themselves.

Meny of these people are still my friends today making up a network of people who have helped and encourged me in life. turns out the thing that made me so wonderful to be around had a name and was actually a real disabillity

Adults love my daughter. She's 7yrs. I often get comments like, 'She must be great company for you', 'What a lovely girl, you should be so proud', 'I've just had the most interesting conversation, that was fantastic' and 'Can I keep her?' She's really chatty and will speak to anyone who'll listen. I find that most adults, especially the older ones, find that very endearing. She is a lovely girl. I just wish her peers could see it that way too.

It was the same with me, as a child. (I don't have a diagnosis BTW) I still remember adults being mesmerised. I believe I treated adults as my equals. I was always well mannered and kind hearted, so that wasn't a problem. Often, I would go to a neighbour's house and take some fruit for a picnic. She was an old lady and had an adult son with a learning disability, but they were my pals. Both the lady and her son have died, but my daughter seems to have taken to the lady's other son, who is now elderly. He thinks she's the bee's knees.

Some were. Some weren't. When I was a kid I had several older adults who were friends. Other adults however didn't like me. It all depends on the individual. I guess some see an aspie kid as bright beyond their years and interesting, while others just see them as weird and or annoying.

After thinking about it a bit more, I am realizing that perhaps this “special attachment” was due to the way I interfaced with adults.

My communication model has always been based upon questioning. It’s not uncommon for me to simply ask question after question of someone else, just to keep them talking. It accomplishes several things. First, it enables me to learn something interesting/useful from others. Second, it eliminates the need for me to carry the conversation (which I am terrible at). I just need to listen and learn and ask more questions. It works quite well in certain models. Especially with people who want to share.

When I was a child, this worked well with adults who are often happy and willing to share their experiences and passions with children. This facilitates the creation of that “special attachment” (as the adult feels a bond, after having shared a common interest with an interested child).

I remember, each time our family visited Sam’s house, Sam was waiting for me. Wanting to share with me the latest addition to his collection. I would ask him questions about it, trying to learn more. Sam was proud to answer my questions. Sam was ecstatic that I was interested in his passion.

Unfortunately, this method does not work as well with peers. Because many they get tired of having one sided conversations.

I found that it was always much easier to interact with adults rather than kids or people my own age.
I believe that since adults can hold a conversation about a single topic, and discuss it, I found that it was much easier to talk to adults about things. (especially my "special topics")

Some adults adored me when I was a child.
Others thought I was terrible and didn't like me at all.

It was definitely true for me, and for my dad.

It was a mutual thing. I lost a few friends because they got mad when I seemed to enjoy talking to their parents as much as talking to them.

I think my best friend's mother liked me because I could not keep a secret. They were very conservative Independent Baptists and she very much wanted to dress and act like a "regular" girl (tight jeans, makeup, midriff shirts). Often when we would go out, she would change clothes in the bathroom. If her mom asked me anything about it, I would usually mess up and get her caught.

I don't know how or why we stayed friends, but we are friends to this day.

The exception to me getting on with adults was adults who were very impatient, or very authoritarian.

They thought I was a brat and didn't like me at all.

They still don't. Guess age didn't change their idea of my place.

I guess I moved somewhere in between annoying and adorable, depending on the person and the situation. Maybe I was just too much in my world so that I couldn't interact with adults very well either. However, adults usually were a better source of information to me so I rather listened to them and asked questions.

Interestingly, my favorite cousin's sons seem to like me. The younger one, almost four, has counted the days before my arrival. And yes, you may guessed well, I do like them too. Both of them are a bit autistic.

Adults like me more than my peers.When adults see an intelligent,weird kid,who is rejected of his/her peers and misunderstood by parents,they have protective instict.They are more understanding,more interested in serious topics,and less likely to use sarcasm.When I was with adults,I felt comfortable in conversation.When I was with my peers,I was laughed at,pressured to answer their stupid questions.My grandmother always defended me from my Mum`s attacks,even putting her life in danger.She walked many kilometres,even early in morning,even late at night,only to come and protect me from my mother`s incontrollable anger.She cooked meals for me,when my mum didn`t wanted to get up from the bed,she always was here for me to support and talk.She is my best friend,even now when I`m 17.We go for a walk together,and I tell her everything.My mum attempted suicide when I was 12,after that she takes medication and goes to psychiatrist(she is diagnosed with shizoaffective disorder).She is now kind and tender mum,full of love for me.But I still have more trust in my grandmother.

I found the kind of people that did not like me(and there were more then a few) were the kind of people that did not like anybody, the kind of people who saw negitiveity in anything.

amapola, Its interesting you bring up the protective instinct, I have learned that a few did just that, they appereantly saw what was happening to me better then I did and actively pulled me out of bad situations.

I will also point out that even though I am at the age of an adult now I get the exact same reaction from those 2/3rds my age or more, I am sometimes told by others that these older adults are fond and think alot of me, in that your someone different and special sort of way. Really, all of my close friends and aquantinces are old enough to be my grandparents or close to it. I should also mention that if I did not tell someone my age I usually get mistaken for a teenager still.

As a child, I MUCH preferred to be around adults than kids my own age and was in the fortunate situation where nearly every mother wanted to swap kids with my mother. Even today nearly every mother (even those younger than me) seems to love me. My relatives were another story: they never hated me but it was obvious I was seen as a distant last place. At this stage in my life mothers, babies/toddlers, seniors and animals (especially dogs) seem to absolutely love me and people my own age seem to hate my guts with the exception of women with children. I still can't figure out why.

I always preferred to be in the company of adults than people my age. they always seemed to enjoy passing their knowledge down to me