Aspie Roadblock to making friends. Need help!

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JohnConnor
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07 May 2013, 1:11 pm

Ok so here is the situation,


As a few of you may know already I have begun the process of making friends with a University outdoor activity club. I have gotten to the point where I am becoming a more socially accepted member of the group but I have hit a roadblock and now I need help. As we all know people loooooove to tease and pull tricks on one another. It is just what is done in the NT social atmosphere. Now as we all know people with Aspergers have a tendency to fall for practical jokes all the time because we can't read non verbal ques.

What I need to know is if there is any type of book or other type of instructional material out there that goes into detail about body language and facial expression. What I am attempting to do is to build a type of mechanical scan in order to understand the social situation better.



ComradeColonelR
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07 May 2013, 2:33 pm

A good way to learn body language is to watch a show or something and know the characters intentions beforehand. It can help you see how those emotions are expressed. If you watch a show in school or athletic environment, you are bound to see some teasing. Note how the attention of the crowd usually shifts. If you are being teased in a public generally everyone will have their attention on you. Even if they aren't looking at you if they aren't focused on anything else it might be you. General rule of thumb is you should never show that you are upset, act clueless and happy. If they are your friends but are simply teasing you then they'll probably stop or they might find it funny that you don't get it. Don't get frustrated if they call you dumb or stupid that will only make it worse. If you can't figure out if they are teasing you it doesn't really matter, it will happen either way. Some people are jerks and will tease you just because they can.



appletheclown
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07 May 2013, 2:33 pm

Have you ever asked your friends to help you understand the ways of the NT world? I have had my parents, whom are very supportive, help me with this, paired with good friends whom I learned a lot of humor from, to teach me a lot of NT stuff.


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07 May 2013, 2:46 pm

JohnConnor wrote:
. . . What I need to know is if there is any type of book or other type of instructional material out there that goes into detail about body language and facial expression. . .

Most books try and approach this in a left-brain fashion, whereas these skills by their very nature are right-brain type of skills (inexact, feel-and-texture skills).

I have learned a lot playing poker, including a league where we just play for points and prizes. And it usually is not a single "tell," but a whole series of actions, what a player does pre-flop, at the flop, at the turn, their "table image," how late in the tournament, how high the blinds, and thus how desperate the person might be getting, etc.



JohnConnor
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07 May 2013, 3:37 pm

Ok all this stuff is good. I just thought of a good show to watch. The old jersey Shore episodes!



JohnConnor
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07 May 2013, 6:02 pm

Navigating my way through a social group: This is going to be complex as all get out I think.