What do you talk about in a relationship?

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Hi everyone,

There's this thing that I've been thinking about. If you are in a relationship, what on earth do you all talk about to each other? How do you keep each other busy?
Everytime I think about having a boyfriend I'm like: how in the world are we gonna fill up a whole day, never mind several days in a row?
This is kinda my scematic representation of a day in a relationship:

Thursday, boyfriend's coming over
first hugs and kisses
11:30:
me: so how was your day, what have you been up to?
him: yeah it was cool, and yours?
me: yeah it was ok.
(...)
12: 30:
me: so whadda you wanna do?
he: uuh, i don't know. what you wanna do?
and then there are activities you can do like:
-have sex
-make lunch
-watch a movie

And then what? it'll be 14:00 o clock and I wouldn't know what to do anymore.

What do people do and talk about when they are with their partners? It's seems so hard for me to think how you can fill up a whole entire day.

lol

You're so cute, Cafeaulait.

I feel like wanting to squeeze your cheeks


Oh about the thread, you're just over-thinking and creating unnecessary mental obstacles.

Get a boyfriend first then go with the flow, you can worry about these stuff later.

Well, I think maybe start by building up conversational skills within your circle of friends at the moment.

Toastmasters is one good way to teach you how to do proper speaking. Also, keep yourself busy with things like sports, going out, volunteer work and travelling in addition to your day-to-day life.

You'll find that you'll have heaps more to talk about by having more life experience

Yeah, that's absolutely true. I don't have a sport or job of whatever so i don't have those things to talk about.
although... it makes me wonder. Is there ever gonna be a moment where you just don't have anything to say anymore, because you've already told everything?

well, hmm no expert here. But successful couples do seem to do things together, not everything. But if you are doing more things on your own then it tends to lead to drifting apart. One partner might get bored and seek attention else where and one thing leads to another.

That is obviously what not to do, not really what to do. Uhm... I guess sharing the same hobbies keeps the conversations going. Supporting each other?

What do you talk about with your family, or with your parents? Yes, there will come a point where you both know pretty much everything there is to know about each other, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to talk about. Things you did today, current events, upcoming events, workplace gossip, and feelings are all common everyday topics.

We used to gossip badly about our common friends, watch people through car windows and make unfair comments about them. When I was younger I used expouse about some movie or something, but if I had to listen to me now, it would be so embarrassing, some of the dumb things I have said when younger.

NT's spend a lot of time analysing their friends, I hate those conversations in others now

Is not having to be anything at all, a sign of a sage? maybe you could enter monastic life?

Last edited by boywonder on 09 May 2013, 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You don't have to talk to them non stop. Silence is good, like when you're watching TV together or playing games.

I know a couple that enjoys board games a lot – and reviewing each others' math stuff.

I do wonder about this myself. Generally to my family members I annoy the hell out of them by just talking about how I did vertical jumps from a squat position off 2 aerobic stepper plates onto 15 plates, or how I PRed my overhead press at 125 and how I feel it's pretty sweet but I wish it could be 180 or so. Also for skating I talk about how I skated in circles on my right outside edge forever and got so much better edge feel today. Then I talk about how I downloaded Utada Hikaru's album "DEEP RIVER" because I've been listening to the J-Pop station on Sky.fm and like Utada Hikaru now even though I used to not like her when I was like in high school and would only listen to 90s Japanese pop.

And this is why I have like 3-4 male friends, and no girlfriends. Only 1 male friend calls me up (almost) everyday to talk, and he basically does the same as me and just talks about random inane crap like that. But a lot of times we get into cool discussions about how we could put pandas in Detroit, and make them an invasive species by planting bamboo all over the abandoned neighborhoods, and just have the pandas eat all the bamboo (which is another invasive species!)

Yeah, I'm about screwed, as no girl would talk about stuff like that. All girls are like "mew mew mew my feelings..." and don't wanna talk about cool stuff like making endangered species into invasive ones or rambling about Japanese pop forever.

Mostly I talk about Star Wars, and about puppies, and how awesome ninjas are, and that time I totally finished an entire pizza by myself, and what happened on Supernatural last night, and how fountain sodas are better than canned sodas which are better than bottled ones, and how the neighbor lady kinda scares me, and...

Mostly she talks about how great it would be if I'd shut up once in a while.

I agree with this. Some silence is essential so you can both listen to your own thoughts, especially if you're spending a lot of time together.

(Also, JanuaryMan, TOTORO!! !! !! )


I do seem to have a tendency to date people who talk a lot though, so that I don't have to talk too much.

Wehey! There's an idea, you could talk to them about Totoro

I don't watch TV. I usually don't play any multiplayer games, but maybe I would if I had friends.

Well what about reading..do you read? Couples read in bed sometimes.

Nope, only read online, usually articles about special interests. I read maybe 2 books a year max.