New to This, Any help given would be greatly appreciated.

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The trickiest part of these things is knowing where to begin, so I think an introduction is in order. I'm a young adult male, currently studying at University, and I have recently been confirmed by a doctor that I am on the AS Spectrum/have Aspergers. I realise this is not an official diagnosis, but it seems the most clear explanation to much of my behaviour. Here's some of the stuff I find tricky, to give a bit of perspective;

It's exhausting/straining sometimes for me to be social with other people, despite the fact I enjoy it. This sort of goes in periods of highs and lows.

I have great difficulty understanding body language, i.e. when I was 16 I smiled incessantly because I thought this was how you showed you were happy, etc.

I have issues with personal space, i.e. I don't like mine being invaded, and am terrified of invading other people's, i.e. I flinch when someone touches me/ when I seem about to touch them.

I'm overly gullible, and get completely confused by some people's explanation for things.

I've got, let's face it, an intense, need to connect with things that I find interesting, sort of like visual/oratory comfort food. For example, listening to the Grunge band Nirvana is one way I feel completely secure and relaxed, and I found it so interesting I looked in depth into the foundation of the band's history/grunge movement in general.


All in all, I'm at a fairly rocky point in life at the moment, if I'm honest. On the one hand, I'm learning to be social well with other people, and how to be included, but on the other, I'm constantly reminded of how I don't fit in with society in general. All my life, I've been labelled as strange, been shunned and manipulated by some people without fully understanding why, and it's proven unfortunately to be a very painful case of trial and error. I still find it very hard to forgive myself for any social mistakes I've made in the past, though of course I've learned from them.

Sorry if this all sounds a bit sob-story, there are bits of my life that are fantastic, and I'm really enjoying (I've recently become part of a creative writing society, and writers are an eclectic bunch at best, so I've fit right in), I'd just like to be able to manage it a bit better, and move on from any errors/ hurtful areas that I've encountered.

Many thanks,

Thornybum

hiya Thornybum welcome to our neat little club
you will find many people here who are similar to yourself.

Welcome to WP.

I got one advice for you, as it sound like you have no troubles from being in the autist specter. My advice is: Step away from it all, you are likely to discover your negative and undescribed rigid sides, thus exaggerating them.

Don't seek beyond your capabilities. You won't find it. Make the best of what you have. Don't create a problem where there wasn't really any. Nothing is perfect, social interactions esp. rarely is. Be happy with yourself, there is no way you can be happy with everyone else...

Welcome. I hear it is hard to be an extroverted Aspie. *virtual, no contact hug*. Hope things go better for you.

I hear you when it comes to being touched by another person--I hate that with a passion, especially if it's an unexpected touch.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

yup - trial and error - painful, but necessary. welcome to WP.

Looks as if you've found your tribe, Thornybum!

I agree with some of the other advice here-work on liking you and all of your wonderful eccentricities and strengths. If you want some help with that, read "The Introvert Advantage" by Laney. Seek out those who are more similar. A fish can't climb a tree, so better he just learn to more efficiently navigate and find the beauty in his own waters than struggle trying to sit next to the koala on the top branch.

It's rough for us on the spectrum to accept ourselves for who we are when we're told since our youth that we are 'different'. And well, in a society based on making the rich richer by consuming, their biggest sales tactic is to make us all believe we should fit their mold. Which, by the way, changes every six weeks-so no one can ever be caught up. So, enough with that. Right?

I just had the realization I don't really know how to connect with people in friendships/relationships. But, I connect well with animals, love taking drives in my car and traveling, love writing, love researching interesting topics, and absolutely enjoy online exchanges. So, guess what? That is my way of connecting. I am not a tree climber, I'm a sea dweller. And it's fine. And sounds like (from your post) there are other sea dwellers out there I can relate to and that, I think, is pretty awesome. :0)

Welcome

Thanks for the support, everybody. I hope everything works out for you lot too

Sweet welcomes to WPea.



From Mick and Peahawk