What do you want?

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I know this may seem like a trick question, but we can assume most wpers are here because on some level or another aspergers is keeping them from something.

My question is if somehow you can have one singular thing that you feel your autism prevents you from having what would it be?

I wish I didn't have communication deficits.

Last edited by redrobin62 on 23 Jun 2013, 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

the lack of wherewithal, in general.

The ability to make spontaneous conversation with people, even people I know really well like my family. This I believe would lead to many of the the things I find I am lacking in life.

lacking capacity for fluently transmissive/receptive body language.

My ability to sustain casual interactions for longer than a few minutes at a time.

Does body language really interest you that much.

The things I have wanted the most in life were not kept from me because of my ASD. Autism hasn't been a barrier for the things that do and have mattered to me. I would like it if I could go to parties more often but it doesn't eat me up inside that I'm never invited.

I wanted something that I couldn't have. I wanted an experience that was intense, unfamiliar, and surreal. I wanted something like that and I thought I could find it in the occult. I read about spirits, magic, and mysticism. I couldn't find the experience I was looking for in the occult because of one of two reasons. The most likely reason is that it was rubbish. The other possible reason is that I'm not psychic but I think it's the other one. I could've found the kind of experience I sought outside of the occult if I had the right brain chemistry. It would've been a creation of my own mind. Unfortunately I'm not the kind of person who has weird or surreal experiences. Now I don't care if it's real or not so I'm willing to use psychedelics to satisfy that need but before I felt barred from it by things that were unrelated to my Autism.

Another thing I wanted was to experience everything and know what every possible human experience is like. I wanted to "know what it's like" for everything. That was a very unrealistic desire. It couldn't have happened regardless of my Autism. I can only be one person and I can only have one limited set of experiences. There are some experiences that are mutually exclusive.

I also feel chronically understimulated which could be related to my Autism. I'm hyposensitive but I could've just as easily been a hypersensitive Aspie so I can't say Asperger's prevents me from experiencing things as intensely as I would want to. The way my AS presents itself is the barrier but I could still have an ASD without having this problem. The only desire I have that my AS prevents me from fulfilling is to feel stimulated and alive. My other desires are just unrealistic. Having AS is irrelevant. I couldn't fulfil those desires even if I was NT.

if only I had the capacity for such, I would be in a totally different place in life right now, I would've lived up to what the natal horoscope said about me. IOW I would've been a successful human in a successful life, instead of a hermit.

I would like the ability to have conversations and say more than one sentence at a time, as well as be more of an extrovert.

it starts with having an opinion burning a hole in your soul, then it evolves into learning how to filter the barbs out of that opinion for better public reception.

I wish I could live outside my head, in the 'real' world for more than short periods at the time. And that it was not su infernally draining and frustrating to do so.

Friends

I wish I didn't have strong negative feelings so often.

Somehow I just don't comprehend the so-called joy of small-talk. To me it seems like a total waste of time.

Last edited by PrncssAlay on 24 Jun 2013, 6:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

i'm much better at small talk than big talk