Hi new guy here

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hi everybody, im new and my first post..
im 32 years old and just got diagnosed a few months ago. i am new to autism in general. ive never even heard of it till bout a year ago. i have a son who was diagnosed with aspergers, so after a little research i realized i might have it too. getting a formal diagnosis didnt seem too hard once i told my therapist my history and a few tests later i was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and co-morbid ADHD,depression.

as a child i was raised by my aunt and uncle due to family issues. so i guess being diffrent was just the norm for me. ever since i can remember i had a sever stutter. i lived in a small town and the bullying was horrible. i had a little bit of speech therapy, that seemed to help. i only had a couple friends they got picked on too so we had something in common. i was very introverted and quiet. speaking in class was so bad. the other kids would always laugh at me. i now realize that i was physically and emotionally abused by my older brother. he was about 10 years older than me. this seemed to only make my problems worse. i had zero self-esteem. i got beat up alot at school. i never seemed to hit back. i would just shut-down. i didnt seem to have meltdowns just shut-downs. i would freeze up and was unable to talk. seems like my mind would go blank. i didnt know what to do or how to act. my parents knew i had self-esteem issues but never took me to a psychologist.

Jr. high wasnt any better. bullying got worse. beat up because i would not fight back. had same 2 friends, small town same group of kids just older...

my 2nd year of high school things began to change. i started to hang with the potheads. they seemed to be less judgemental.

.....to be continued

Sorry to hear about your past, very sad :/

Good you've finally gotten a diagnose though, think it will make things a little easier for both you and your family/friends.


I hope you'll find the help and answer's you need here on WrongPlanet. Welcome

Glad to have you here!

the potheads seemed to be more accepting but they too advantage in there own ways. i seemed to fall in love with weed.. when i was high my stutter would almost completly go away... my friends knew if i was stoned because i could carry on a conservation without stuttering. this also happened when i was drunk.

Girls seemed to be my main downfall.. before i i got a girlfriend i had lots of girls who were nice to me. but i was deathly afraid to ask them out or anything or even admit i was interested... and i was not pickey. i would have dated any girl i knew. i had a older brother who was helping me get friends. he was 16 years older than me and was a DJ on the radio..so he was "cool" and had good taste in music. so he helped me get a "style".. and of course i went Rocker/Punk... i had the leather jacket, spiked hair... went as far as my school would let me.. while most of my friends were skipping school. i would not... i was afraid of my parents unlike my friends.. i just did drugs at school... besides when i smoked weed i was able to concentrate on my school work alot better.

so finally a girl basically asks me out... i was so excited to finally have a girlfriend and to lose my virginity that i didnt reaize that i was being physically and emotionally abused.. this relationship lasted about a year. then girl#2 came along. this girl was less physically abusive and more emotional abusive and very manipulative. this ended in a divorce 5 year marriage with 2 kids. now i still struggle with her manipulation and am digging thru my past trying to find answers and fighting all the demons. since my diagnosis it is like a light bulb was turned on in my head.. it all makes sense now.. lucily i was able graduate high school and have been working full time since i was 15.. guess i can thank my parents for teaching me to "blend in with society"

in highschool i was bullied by teachers along with peers.. i played football because my parents wanted me to. this made me get bullied by the football team because i was the slowest guy on the team. i played offensive lineman, i was too slow for any other position. the line coach found it funny to have us run laps while hitting me in the head with the football from across field. the team would tell coach "hit him coach" he replied" it's like hitting a dead cow.

i looked at suicide as an option on a daily basis for most of my life. but drugs seemed to catch my eye alot better. so i partied as much as i could and tried all the drugs i could get my hands on..being a small town that wasnt much.. i am now realizing that alot of what i experienced was abuse.. nobody really explains abuse to me and what it is...all i really knew was when a man hits a woman that is abuse...didnt know there are other types.. guess i was just so broken down i figured that i deserved it..

so after highschool i joined the Navy. best choice i ever made... i figured the bullying would stop.... i guess as an adult it slowed down. but it changes and becomes more subtle. once i was an adult co-workers start with the "bantering" i soon realized that nobody like "that guy" who gets all butthurt from teasing so i always just laughed at it.. i even give guys props for comming up with funny original jokes..some guys always came up with the same old ass jokes..

now i am on my second marriage.. we have our problems but most of them are my emotional issues and past pain... but i am going to therapy and it is helping me heal.. and i am learning to cope with my anxiety with the help of meds..

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

My entire public school education was particularly brutal. Small town, small school. I will admit that I was a bit of a bully myself. I usually bullied those who had bullied me, once I figured out that they would become very afraid of someone who had no problems taking 2 punches to give back one. I got in a lot of fights, and no one ever walked away without feeling some serious pain. The bullying slowed down at the end of Jr High and evolved into complete avoidance (which was fine with me). I would have to say that the stoner crowd in high school was the only group where I seemed to feel any acceptance. Spent most of high school in a THC fog.

I joined the Navy right out of high school. There was a lot of bullying in the Navy, but at least it was almost everyone bullying almost everyone else, and few people were singled out. The only people that seemed to get more abuse than any others were the ones who were lazy and wouldn't do their jobs.

Welcome! I am also newly registered here, but a long time creeper.