Using food as reward/incentive

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Hi all. I have a newly diagnosed autistic 12 year old son. He had previous diagnoses of bi polar, adhd, sensory integration disorder, rage stuff, you name it. But when he was young he did not have an autism diagnosis so we missed a lot of the behavioral stuff that's often done.

I've been reading a lot about using little tidbits of food as reinforcers. Just like with animals. Seemingly for younger kids in the stuff I've read, and mostly in the classroom. But it's got me thinking. There is almost nothing that motivates my son. He will gladly go indefinitely without brushing his teeth or showering. He only does those things now if he loses computer time for not doing them, and sometimes he doesn't even care about that and will flat out say no. He does, however, really like to eat.

A few times in the past couple of years when he's been raging and screaming and throwing things, I've got him to stop by telling him I won't let him eat the next meal. He gets mad and says that's illegal and whatnot and I say that I don't think it is but I'm willing to find out, and that he's not in any danger, nor would I be, since we are not emaciated by any means. And each time he's shaped right up.

From a obesity standpoint I've always read that you shouldn't use food as a reward, like getting ice cream for good grades. So I don't know about this. But I have to figure something out to get him to brush his teeth. They are really gross. I've already done points/charts, we don't leave the house until you brush them (he is fine staying home and missing all activities), that girl you like will think it's gross that your teeth look so bad (so what, he says) so I'm feeling pretty out of options. I remember my friends when I was a kid getting sent to bed without their dinner for bad behavior... So how common is it to use food like this? For kids in general or for autism type stuff?

I definitely wouldnt use sweeties as a reward. They are simply no normal daily food, so no good reward for daily good behaviour. But if he responds to food, you maybe could do a deal for him: Everyday that he manages to do the normal stuff (so no extra-extra good behaviour but teeth brushing and so on) he is allowed to choose one meal of what there will be for midday or dinner the next day. It has to be be regular dinner or midday food, so no Coco pops for dinner, but he is allowed to choose a certain meal that he prefers. So if you have soup, mainmeal and dessert, he can choose one of those, as long as its something that goes as regular food. (And isnt something unaffordable like lobster.) Dessert normally includes something more sweet but at last its normally done from natural products instead of fabricated food. (Little cakes or yoghurt with fruits and honey, or whatever you normally have as desserts...)

But I heavily recommend you to avoid fabricated sweeties, they have normally enormous amounts of sugar or worst that artificial cornjellystuff (dont know the english word), and so his blood sugar will rise and fall like crazy, making his mood even more unstable. So when he has anyway anger issues you should avoid such stuff totally. There have been scientific tests on schools, showing that aggresional behaviour decreased in a great amount, when all kind of unhealthy sweeties, soda pops and that stuff were not available and allowed in school any longer.

And nope children dont die, when not allowed to eat one specific meal now and then. So my mother never forbid us to eat, but my sis had all kind of food issues. So we were allowed to eat or spare what we want, without her bugging us or forcing to eat something, from the food she offered. But if it was not for a special reward, she didnt cook special for us, so when we didnt want to eat anything of what she offered, then there was nothing to eat for us. Our desicion. ^^

We do use food very often as a reward/ incentive for our eldest, he is 14. It is very effective as a motivator for him, not much he won't do for a tasty treat... Ranging from mini jellybeans, a square of choc, an ice block to jacket potato with a tablespoon of sour cream, fruit salad, yoghurt. All the lollies have sugar obviously but we choose the natural colour, natural flavour ones. Honestly, his behaviour has improved because of food incentives, where other things haven't worked. Our son is very active, has always been and has no trouble with his weight at all. His appetite is huge and his three meals a day are solid and nutritious... So for me, this isn't a big deal. It works for him.

For your son, i think offering to cook his favourite meal for him, if he can do some small things that are necessary for him to do, is a good idea. He is going to eat dinner anyway, why not earn his fave! This works for all my kids, bring home a good report card, for example, and I'll be asking you what you want the family to have for dinner.
One thing I don't do is punish with food. We get favourite meals as reward. And treats, but treats are earned, never just given. So if there's no dessert, it's because it wasn't earned rather than he always gets dessert and it's taken away for poor behaviour.

So how common is it to use food as a motivator? I've seen it done lots, in all kinds of children. All kinds of children who are motivated by food, that is. It doesn't have to be unhealthy, a nice fruit salad, yoghurt ice blocks, dry your own fruit, homemade wedges with little fat... The list goes on.

Just my opinion, good luck!

1) Maybe there's something about the toothpaste he doesn't like. I used to hate brushing my teeth at night time because I'd always wake up in the morning with a thick coating in my mouth. As it turned out, I'm sensitive to an ingredient in the toothpaste - possibly fluoride since it makes me physically sick at the dentist. I've now requested they not give it to me. Maybe he needs a softer bristle for his brush. Maybe a type of mouth wash so he's dealing with bacteria somehow. Maybe sending him to the dentist more regularly - my son and I get a cleaning done every 3 months. There's something about brushing his teeth that's unpleasant to him and I think giving him food rewards is going to escalate the problem (cavities, etc).

2) As parents, we are required to provide our children 3 basic needs: food, clothing and shelter. Telling him you're not going to let him eat his next meal is child abuse.. you don't have to be emaciated to have that apply. Food not only feeds are bodies, it also feeds our brains. I wouldn't use this strategy again. If he reports you on it, you'll be in a lot of trouble.

3) Food rewards: I don't recommend it at all, either. I have major issues when it comes to foods (which I won't get into) and it's unlikely he'll be interested in the healthy rewards .. so, candy, chocolate, ice-cream it is - which adds more issues to your plate.

Keep digging. If he likes computers, sign him up to some fun computer class, event, etc .. if he earns a certain amount of points throughout a designated time. Have him buy a new computer game with points he's earned from brushing teeth.

Again though, if there's something about the tooth brush, tooth paste, cold/warm water, ANY of the brushing process that's really unpleasant for him, you have to figure a way around it. Forcing him into doing something he doesn't want to do by using harsh penalties, is going to create a wedge between the two of you - and you don't want the ministry getting involved.

Your title is misleading as you are proposing using food as a positive primary reinforcer (reward) but in reality you are actually taking food away to control behaviour which is a negative primary reinforcement.

Negative reinforcement (depriving them or giving them time-out) is not a sustainable/effective way of teaching any child to maintain or master skills and/or change modify behaviour in the long run. Instead, promise him an activity which he enjoys, a toy or an occasional sweet when he proves he can behave himself. The carrot on the stick approach is a much better way of changing a child's behaviour as after some time the child will comply even without the incentive,.

Wouldn't money motivate him? We haven't started this yet, although our daughter's psychologist suggested it. I rarely use this kind of parenting with my other kids, and avoid anything that is punitive. But she seems to really resist doing some very basic things. Since we don't give her an allowance, I am pretty sure giving a certain (small) amount of money every day, or points leading to money at the end of the week, I think it would be a real reward.
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l would be very, very careful with this, even if you don't use sweets, it might create a long term unhealthy relationship with food or even lead to an eating disorder.

In the short run, using food either as incentive or as punishment might work. In the long run, however, it can lead to all kinds of psychological issues with food. And, as an earlier poster pointed out, denying a child food really is child abuse. If you want, you can offer a less favored food if someone behaves badly ABOUT food. (In our house, if you don't eat what's offered to you at the table, you get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich). But I really would stay away from food incentives as much as possible.

I understand your frustration but this sounds like a terrible idea. Any child, but I suspect especially children on the spectrum need to feel safe and secure. Threatening to deprive your son of food will undermine any trust he might have for you. Food is a basic need.

My son is seven, and we brush our son's teeth. This is how it has gone on b/c he can't do it himself. He is (mostly) compliant, despite how uncomfortable it is. He just doesn't have the tolerance, motor skills to do a good job. We have picked the most tolerable toothpaste, and it is still necessary b/c he has so many sensory issues with this. I feel terrible about it b/c it is seems such a violation of his personal space, but we tell him it is a health thing, hence the general compliance. My son's dentist is doing this for his 16 year old son, still.

I can't imagine it would be easy to start for a 12 year old, when he is not used to doing it this way, but I guess you could try telling him if he doesn't do it, you will have to do it for him.

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 01 Jul 2013, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This.

What you are doing creates a state of food insecurity. Long term, food insecurity often leads to bingeing, bulimia, or eating constantly (since subconsciously he will never be sure where food will come from next or when, he will eat all the time just in case), or at very least a broken relationship with food and a lack of trust around it which can last a lifetime. These can all have an enormous impact on someone's psychological and physical health.

Children especially are prone to food insecurity, because, as with many other things, they have no defence mechanisms against such things.

Last edited by Kjas on 30 Jun 2013, 10:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think that sounds like a terrible idea, perhaps some positive reinforcement might help. I mean food is something one needs to sustain themself threatening 'if you don't do ------ you will be denied your next meal.' Then they are likely to learn people can hold things they need above thier head to make them do things which later down the road would do more damage than help.

What I would do is maybe talk to your child about why he doesn't want to shower. brush teeth, ect....maybe there is a sensory issue going on that could be remedied with different toothpaste, a different toothbrush or maybe he finds showering painful due to the water hitting his skin and needs a shower head that can make the water come out more gently. Also instead of taking away things he enjoys or needs...since from the sound that isn't exactly working it would be better to find something he enjoys and maybe do something like 'if you brush your teeth and take a shower then you can ------' Or you could say you'll make a dish he really likes if he showers and brushes teeth. But I think it is important to try and find out why he is so resistant to those hygiene things. SO basically reward him when he does those things but maybe lay off a bit on the taking things away out of punishment.

But its just my opinion...I just don't think not allowing a child to eat is a good way to teach them, not to mention sometimes lack of hygiene can be a sign of depression so it could be he's having trouble initiating good hygiene I know when my depression is bad I hardly have the motivation for showers let alone tying to go out and do any activities so that may be something to think about as well.

It sounds to me like you already have a reinforcer. You must remember that no reinforcer works 100% of the time, and eventually, food won't either.

There are 2 things I will not withdraw from my children. Ever. Food and love. I will sometimes--though not often-- give them a special treat, but I would never send them to bed without supper as a consequence to bad behavior. What does that teach?

A rule of thumb that I use is that any negative consequence has to be in some logical way related to whatever the "wrongdoing" was. I suppose if right before dinner time, I found that my son had just consumed an entire package of cookies in one sitting, he might not get dinner. But that's because he already "spent" his calories. But if he refused to do his homework and threw his book across the room, I would not take away dinner. He would, however, go straight to bed after dinner with no time for playing on his computer, watching tv, or spending time with his family. Because in our house, there is a rule that homework is done before "fun" commences. Since he refused to do his homework, his option would be to go to bed and try to have a better day the next day. It would be presented as an option, though: "Pick up your book and do your homework, or you will go to bed after dinner. The choice is yours."

good post....

Gosh, thanks everybody. I forgot I posted this, so I haven't seen any of the replies until now. I'll try to discuss some of them. So, I'd be more than happy to brush his teeth for him, and I used to until maybe just last year, and I still will and sometimes do when he lets me, but he doesn't comply with having his teeth brushed very well at all, no matter if it's me or him.

Actually I had mentioned both... I read about using food as a reward, and I mentioned sending kids to bed with no dinner.



I totally agree that research shows that punishments, even mild ones, do not create behavior change. However, I do also know that everybody I've talked to who is now an adult and who was ever sent to bed without their dinner has said that it made a huge impression on them and they really did not want it to happen ever again. Whether or not it actually reduced the frequency of their unwanted behaviors, who knows.

As it stands now, I have not used food as a positive reinforcement in any sort of major way. There have probably been ten times total in his life that I've said something like "after we get this kitchen cleaned up, let's go have ice cream." What I read about was using tidbits of food with autistic kids to reward them just like you would with animals, since you often can't explain with words what you like and don't like about their behavior, and other rewards are sometimes not reinforcing enough. I will look around and see if I can find that article. It was specifically for teachers in the classroom. I absolutely have always believed you can create major food issues if you use food in this way, so I was very surprised to hear it was used in a systematic approach to autistic kids in the classroom. But it works darn good on animals. Animals don't develop food issues I suppose because their cognitive abilities are not as advanced as ours - they don't get screwed up in their minds about what it all means.

I have a couple times, maybe 4 times total, said to him "the only think I can think of that's left to do is not let you have dinner until you [insert whatever behavior here]." The behaviors were refusing to brush his teeth or wash the food off his face before going to see his special ed teacher after about 6 days of not brushing his teeth, repeatedly kicking the door and screaming and refusing to stop and refusing to allow me to redirect him in any way when he was mad about something, being on his computer when he wasn't supposed to and physically preventing me from taking it from him and refusing to get off it, and screaming and kicking dirt on me and my client in the barn when he was mad one day that grandma wouldn't let him have ice cream, and of course also refusing to redirect. I never actually did withhold dinner because each time he stopped the behavior in question. We had some good discussions about what I'm supposed to do when there is something he must do, or must stop doing, and he flat out refuses to comply.

I suppose it could be argued that the teeth day was something I should have just let slide. But the other stuff - if a kid is kicking holes in the wall (he didn't make a hole but it was close) and refuses to stop, and refuses to let you help him stop or do something else, and you can't physically make him stop because he's really big and you're semi-disabled or whatever, and if you can say look, I'm not going to make any dinner for you tonight if you don't stop that, because I can't think of any other way to get you to stop, and that actually stops him, I don't know - I have a hard time seeing that as abusive. And yes, if he didn't stop, I would definitely stick to my guns and not make him anything for dinner.

So the question is, how do you obtain compliance when you really really need compliance?

We did money for a bit. But then my husband lost his job and things got really really bad, and pennies just weren't cutting it for motivators... While we were doing money, I don't know, it was an obsession, buying stuff, begging for just a bit more money to afford the next most expensive thing (I didn't give in but that didn't stop the tears and tantrums), and the worst thing was he started stealing from my purse, grandma's purse or the coin jar. He'd say that was money we'd already given him, and when he was earning and saving it, it wasn't like I was counting it out every day... If we ever go back to using money I'm going to have to keep a tab and we'll count it together each night or something. I've also started hiding my purse, just nonchalantly, to reduce the temptation.