The look on your face or body language

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Has anyone experienced a problem with others complaining about the look on your face or your body language? I’m curious, because I have gotten in trouble more times than not because of “the look on my face.” To this day, I haven’t a clue what the look was that bothered the individual so.

As for body language, I get so tired of hearing, “Your body language says . . .” What, pray tell, does that mean? I told one person, “Don’t try to read my body language because I have arthritis and tend to get fidgety.”

As an aspie, my body tends to operate somewhat independently of my brain. Take the “aspie stare” for instance. I don’t do it as much now, but as child, I did. I have an excellent photo of me when I was about 10 or 11 doing the aspie stare. More than once I almost got my face slapped for it even though I was unaware that I was doing it.

Yes. I've been told I look intense and intimidating when I'm just concentrating on something. I also got in trouble at work once because I didn't seem "approachable" enough. I don't understand what they mean by seeming approachable. I'm standing still, you can approach me.... I didn't have my arms crossed all the time or anything. It's so frustrating.

I've been repeatedly told I was "unapproachable" I just don't get why- seriously, does the guy in the avatar look unapproachable?

I think I give off that vibe, both facial expression and voice, but people rarely mention it. I pick it up from their reactions to me.

Agreed. I notice a lot of people cover up when they talk to me. I have been asked by people that barely know me if something is wrong. Once they get to know me, they just know it's my face. However, my wife brought up that I have a different face when aggravated or anxious that she cannot stand - I recognize when I feel that way, but have no idea what the actual face is. Ha.

They will let me volunteer for projects (usually that involve little interaction), but will not have others approach for my expertise. In fact, I have a person that works with me in every project/work group I am in even though I have a clean disciplinary record. I know the only reason I am around is because I am a great researcher and willing to do boring/tedious/complex stuff nobody else wants to do.

Some people have commented that my face looks really angry, or nervous, or manic when I'm not aware that my features have moved from their relaxed "blank" expression.
My father would often say despairingly to my mother "Oh God, look at his face!" when I was just in a neutral state.

I would say that I naturally don't show any emotion on my face - it's not natural for me to smile when I see a friend for instance, or to cry when I am sad. If I want people to see what I'm feeling I have to consciously put that expression on my face and never looks right.

At a previous job (grocery store cashier) I was frequently reprimanded for "not smiling enough," even though I was one of the more well-liked (and apparently, memorable in a positive way) cashiers there. Heck, four years later, (after working there for not even a full year) I still have people coming up to me and saying they remember/miss me from working there! But, nope, don't smile enough, so I was in trouble.

"Your ATTITUDE. I don't like your ATTITUDE" is one of my mom's favorite phrases to use on me.
Even when I'm perfectly happy and friendly she'd say I'm giving her "that look"
So yeah I tried to record myself on camera one day, I watched it and boy my mom's right.
I look totally hostile when I'm zoning out.

Why are you staring at me? Are you a vampire wanting to suck my brains out? Are you on drugs? What kind of person stares at me like that? That's creepy...

I don't have that happen to me because I can generally match my body language and facial expressions up to how I'm feeling at the time. People who I trust (like my mum) have even commented on how expressive my face is at the right times, etc.

But I think I do often give off an unfriendly vibe sometimes, no matter how hard I smile and make normal eye contact to people. I never seem to get people's attention in a positive way, like having someone smile or say hello to me when passing in the street (unless they know me). Maybe I just look shy or nervous, probably because I AM shy and a bit nervous when being out in public.

Yes, my mum often asks me why I have "that look on my face" or "that tone of voice" and I have no idea what she's talking about. At family dinners my aunt will ask what's wrong or why I look so depressed and , again , I have no idea what she's talking about. I'm just sitting there eating and not talking. At the last family dinner with my sister's boyfriend's family, his dad asked me why I was so "quiet and forlorn looking". I was just sitting and thinking, my mind wandering while several conversations were taking place around me.

I used to get in second grade "who are you staring at?" but other kids were asked it too so it was a fad going around I think so I wouldn't count it.

I used to get told in high school to smile and at work I kept being asked what's wrong and it would aggravate me.

I don't get it often when people ask me what is wrong when I am fine or telling me what I am smiling about so my body language must be appropriate. But according to my husband it's not right but he can read me well because he knows me. My parents can read me well too and I think it's because they're my parents so they know me. My mom has told other people about me "she's shy" "She's just hungry" and I don't know if that has to do with people not being able to read me or not. I know my shyness has been mistaken for rejection so the reason why being unable to get a date in the real world and finding a guy so I had to go online for it. I have also laughed in situations and people took it the wrong way because it was images in my head I was laughing at they gave me. I don't know if this counts as inappropriate body language. People have accused me of laughing when I was smiling or people thinking I was yelling at them when I just have a loud voice.

I have came to believe people can actually control their emotions and laughter and facial expressions and tone of voice because I sure have this trouble because people act like we can control these things so they must be able to. I can remember when my mother would get mad at me for screaming and crying and getting upset and no matter how many time outs she kept giving me, I would go back to doing it again and I felt then I was not allowed to get upset and I am to suppress my feelings and she didn't care about me. I did learn eventually to hide them and hold them in and it caused me problems in 6th grade after years of holding it all in. This was before my parents knew I had AS and anxiety. I look back and wonder if it was just anxiety I was having when I would get upset and cry and Mom would tell me "Oh stop crying like a two year old" as if I could control it so other kids must have that ability and choose how to feel and show it. I also had immature emotions too. I don't know if this also counts as inappropriate body language. Now I find myself telling my own son to stop it because I also can't stand to hear him cry and making a fuss and I want nothing to do with him when he acts that way. But he is NT so of course he can help it and control it. I am not sure what my mother was trying to teach me then but whatever it was, I learned to hold them in and it wasn't even her intent to teach me that.

This thread reminds me in South Park about Butters about his face and being punished for it and it was his natural facial expression. I have thought of him possible being an aspie but I think he was just made out to be socially awkward and an outcast and very naive and gullible.

People have told me that they thought I was bitchy until they got to know me.