maldoror wrote:
I've been diagnosed AS and suspect bipolar as well. When I received the diagnosis the doctor reccommended I look into an organic cause for my depression, which had been sending me into psychosis, and suggested that it may be because of a schizoaffective disorder, but didn't think I was bipolar because they were having trouble finding where my "manias" were. Well, now that I've done some research and some introspection, I know that AS and schizoid conditions aren't supposed to coexist, and I've recognized an aspect of my personality that might correspond to the other aspect of bipolar disorder. For instance, when I wake up I tend to be very depressed, but when I'm trying to fall asleep I get racing thoughts and seem full of energy. Talking with my mom about it now, who's pretty severely bipolar, I'm starting to think that my dad, who raised me, was probably just unobservant when it came to this. It explains alot about how I react to different kinds of drugs.
I am soo glad that it's not just me. I've been getting weird looks and disbelief when i suggest the possibility that all of my problems are not caused by one condition alone. I wasn't even sure if it was possible to have two so distictly different disorders at once. I do get manias sometimes, though not as much as i go way down into deep and life threatening depressions. When i do get manic, i have racing thoughts and restlessness like u described, and unfortunately mine too is often at night. I was up until after 4:30 am last night unable to sleep. I was scared out of my mind too bc i had never been this manic. I felt like i was floating, and had strange urges to bust things and believed that i could overdose and not die. While i had the impulses, i was unable to move. Then i came crashing down quite suddenly and went into a deep depression and almost did die. All in one night. My mood swings have been more stable since being on a mood stablizer and an antidepressant. But things complicate the diagnosis of bipolar, in my mind at least. Sometimes my mood swings are caused by overstimmulation such as from sensory issues, or from too much stress by having to deal with social situations. The two feed off each other. When i am having mood swings i am like to be more sensitive. When i am more sensitive i am likely to get mood swings. My therapist and my parents have been trying to sqeeze my problems into one neat diagnosis but they just won't seem to fit.
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