What triggers your kids mood swings

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My daughter switches from a good to a bad mood very quickly

It can be triggered by not getting her own way - other kids not playing what she wants to play, etc

Her mood transforms and she can sometimes throw herself at the floor or at doors - maybe to show how fed up she is / get attention / or mildly injure herself.

Anyone experience anything similar.

Don't HAVE a girl, but having BEEN one (who most likely would have been diagnosed today) I know that I was severely depressed as a girl, and that the depression was underneath everything, so it only took minor things to bring it to the surface.

I was bullied, had an undiagnosed pragmatic speech deficit (and thus couldn't communicate with my peers) and was sheltered from pop culture by my parents (no TV, etc.) so that I didn't have anything in common with anyone. I was also clumsy (probably a proprioperceptive problem) and struggled with some sensory things. I felt weird and unwanted all the time.

Therefore, if I by chance forgot for a moment that I felt weird and unwanted, it only took the tiniest of reminders to send me in a tailspin.

I'm guessing your daughter has more support than I did - but it's really hard just to be different. Being different and having to struggle with the disabling features of that difference - that's a monumental thing to ask of a child. I think many Aspie children have this, but where my son became violent, I was more like your daughter.

My son's triggers:

1) Surprises/unexpected change/unexpected disappointment: a "surprise" consequence, change in "fun" plans. I often hear him say things like: "You PROMISED!!" even though I never use such word.

2) When something doesn't happen for him quickly: opening a jar, homework, a drawing .. if it takes longer than 2.2 seconds, he gets frustrated and blows (ok, I'm exaggerating)

3) Doing things he hates doing: taking a shower, homework that is challenging

4) Not getting his way

5) Adjusting to a new change in routine - a new chore added, a new expectation.. If I haven't front-loaded him, watch out.. I have it in writing now, ahead of time, and it can still create issues

6) If we don't "jive" with his internal expectation - If a friend comes over and stays for dinner, he expects him to stay over for dinner the next time he's over. If this friend can't .. watch out.

My kids:

Change in routine, but only if the routine means something to them! For eg. If I old my 5 yr old "no brushing teeth tonight" he'd ask a hundred questions about why, but he wouldn't meltdown... Cos he hates brushing teeth, even though it's the routine. Change a routine like "no hash browns with your bacon and eggs tomorrow" could meltdown a city.

Hunger

Tiredness

Frustration

Things not going the way "they" planned, even if we weren't aware of what they needed/ wanted

For my youngest: too many people talking at once

Sensory sensitivities

An aside:
My 14 yr old has been having daily meltdowns for over a week about the rain. He loves going walking with my folks, but it has been really miserable. Yes, he could wear a raincoat and gum boots... But we also want to teach him that sometimes things have to change. Some things are out of our control. It's a hard lesson for him. Every morning he points at the sky and says "sunny". Rain is expected for another couple of days, then an extended sunny patch. Hooray! We are just riding it out and hope he is learning to cope with unexpected things like this.

DS creates scenarios in his head about how things are going to go and when it doesn't happen the way he expected, he gets upset. As said above, front loading and warnings are essential. Of course there are times when I cannot predict what is going to happen so I make a point of telling him that. As long as we can prevent him from having an erroneous entrenched idea of what will happen things go OK.

If my daughter is playing, i.e. doing what she wants to do all the time, she's the happiest, most pleasant natured child you could ever meet. But, as soon as you ask her to get dressed, eat her dinner, get ready for bed... anything really, her mood can change in a flash. If she leaves a door wide open and she's asked to close it, again the storm cloud appears over her head. Sometimes the trigger is just me touching her, when I'm supervising her tooth brushing, or when I catch her comb in a hair tug. The other main trigger is school in general. She behaves impeccably in school, but is really putting up with a lot (the noise causes her to lose concentration and she gets frustrated, as teachers think she's not trying). So, she looks happy in school and then, as she approaches me, I can see her expression change. Then, she'll throw her bag at me and moan all the way home.

I don't have any kids, but these are some things that trigger MY mood swings:

1.) My stepmom being mean to me and reminding me about all the ways in which I fail at life

2.) Being reminded by anybody about how I fail at life

3.) When I'm not allowed to eat when I'm hungry

4.) Having to endure prolonged exposure to a challenging sensory experience

....Heck, just about anything can trigger one of my mood swings, now that I think about it.

The Sprout's main triggers are:

1. People going off his script during a game

2. Someone touching/jumbling something he has arranged into a particular order (this one causes us the most trouble at playgrounds, those spining tic-tac-toe game boards are like the bane of our playground visits).

3. Sensory overload

4. Being hungry or tired

LOL - I admit to spending an awful lot of my son's playground time "fixing" the spinning toys on playgrounds... (DS is not a lining-things-up kind of Aspie, and I wasn't as a child...but I kind of am as an adult...)

This is one of those things that I have noticed has changed over time.

1) Changes and surprises (even good ones, like stopping to get chocolate.) We try to preface everything with "barring anything unforeseen," but naturally we forget sometimes, and sometimes we end up doing something on impulse. We try to do this very minimally, because it really bothers him, although it subsides quicker than it used to.
2) Not being able to finish what he is doing, complete a ritual or line something up/sort something that is messed up.
3)Deviation from the script (We have made the most progress on this on)
4)Not winning (We used to have no problem with this one, and now it is our biggest problem) It has subsided a little with us but it is very bad with peers.
5) Losing a competition of of resources (usually time with an adult) to another child. (See above)
6)Sensory issues (This has subsided dramatically)
7)Failure io communicate.
This one is new, too. Frustration with himself for being indecisive and/or us being unable to predict what he wants and tell him. This is mixed in with the script thing and the communication thing b/c often he wants us to say what he wants instead of him telling us. When we guess wrong, and he can't won't tell us what he wants---it can be bad.
9)Frustration when something he builds/makes is not perfect or falls. (Much improved)