How to tell boyfriend to shower

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I'm an aspergirl in a relationship with an aspie guy, so we are both are a bit socially awkward and we definitely have our little flaws. I was attracted to him because it looked like he really takes care of himself and he has his life together. He exercises, he's confident, he is doing great in school, and most importantly, we're really into each other. The only problem is that he only showers once every two days. This might be fine if he didn't have a girlfriend, because you can't smell him unless you get really close. However as his girlfriend we're often in very close contact, meaning I notice what others don't. How do I tell him to shower? I was thinking maybe saying something like "we really stink right now. Let's take a shower before we do anything else." My logic is that using "we" will soften the blow a bit and he loves saving water with me.

If you were the one being told to shower, how would you like to be approached? Do you think my method would be effective? Serious answers only please.

just be honest. It's the best way

lol

Tell him no sex unless he showers as you find body odor uncomfortable/unsexy? He doesn't seem to care, so maybe framing it as your problem might help. You could also buy some antiperspirant, then it wouldn't be as noticeable. Every 2 days isn't that seldom

I don't think it is fair to come straight out with an ultimatum. He probably doesn't know that you think he smells bad.

He smells because he doesn't shower every day? Sorry for going so much into detail, but where exactly does the smell come from? Maybe he just needs some better deodorant.

It might be that you are hypersensitive to the smell.

Just be honest and polite with him, much easier than trying to fabricate a reason.

If he showers every 2 days, I doubt she's "hypersensetive" to smell.

Just be honest with him. Or shower together, saves water and is more fun.

It's a possibility.

I'm assuming it's armpit odour that's the problem, can also be diet related. Onion and garlic for one example, most potent when eaten raw.

I shower twice a day, but still, once every two days is not that bad. He may have something else going on.

Intestinal imbalance can cause it: http://voices.yahoo.com/bacteria-inside ... tml?cat=70

http://ibstreatmentcenter.com/ibs/intes ... -parasites

Something that is often a problem for autistic people. My aspie ex gf smelled horrible too in spite of showering all the time. Sometimes, cutting out sugar, and eating foods high in good bacteria (Korean kimchi, some yogurt), and taking probiotics like S. Boulardi are the only way to do it -- which is what I had to do to eliminate halitosis.

Hard to tell this to your boyfriend though!!

My most recent ex had this issue. I just came straight out with it.

me: have you showered today?
him: no
me: eww, could you shower please?
him: ok, I'll go now, sorry.

lol, I'm kind of blunt. I agree, showering every other day might be all right if you don't have close contact with someone, but if you're intimate.. well, certain areas develop sweat smells pretty quickly. I can't stand to skip days when it comes to showering and I expect the same from my partner.

if someone can't follow the most basic thing in relationships, that being hygeine, why do they even get in one

there's no "saving water" if you smell bad, you deserve to be single, and those are facts

call him out on it, you'll be happy you did.

^ This. Just tell him straight, no need to make a fuss about it. If I've been busy working in my garden all day or cutting down trees or other sweaty task my wife just says straight out "get a shower before evening meal, you stink!"

Just tell him to take a shower, trust me that's all you need to so to solve the problem in most cases.

Rabidmonkey, I have to agree with Murbark. As a librarian I have to deal with patrons fairly regularly concerning their poor hygiene. I've found that being honest and direct is the best approach, and I would think this goes doubly for aspies.

1) Tell him that's it's good for him.
2) If all else fails, shower with him. My ex-girlfriend had erotic dreams about me and her showerpooling, and honestly, I think it's a neat plan. I did a topic a while back on it, and I hope I can showerpool one day.