Learning "normal" behavior with age?

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How do y'all feel about the Idea of teaching yourself NT behavior with age? I've noticed I don't really do as much of the stuff I used to do when I was a kid, or even a year or two ago.

For example, I used to talk to people way out of my social strata, who were obviously annoyed by it (looking back) but at the time I didn't realize what was 'wrong' with what I was doing.

Doubt it. I'm creeping up on forty now, and still refuse to act age appropriate half the time. As I get older my mindset is more "deal with it", than "how can I adapt?".

I have nothing against learning, but learning about set rules and adopting those rules are very separate things.

Its called "developing coping mechanisms" meaning you learn to mimic the behaviors of those around you, in an attempt to fit in. Of course we do it, its the only way to survive in a world that refuses to even try to "get you" the way you are, unfortunately, it does not make your Autistic handicaps go away, it just masks them from the people around you.

In some ways, it actually makes things harder - the more normal you come across the majority of the time, the less understanding people are when you find that you just CAN'T do something the way everybody else is doing it - then they think you're being intentionally difficult and uncooperative. Its the very reason I couldn't keep a job for more than 15-18 months at a time for my entire life. The longer I wore the NT mask in order to fit in, the more my internal stress would gradually build, until I reached a point at which I couldn't fake it any further and I would end up backed into a corner where it was obvious I couldn't be what my superiors expected me to be. They assumed I was just balking to be a prima donna - voila! - unemployment.

Its also the reason why its much more difficult for Mental Health Professionals to diagnose AS in adults - because by the time you're 30 or beyond, you've learned to fake your way through the world well enough that it takes either a keen well-trained eye or repeated observation over a period of time, to begin to see the Autistic traits and reactions that are buried just under the surface.

I agree with the other posters. I'm not normal, and never will be. But one of the few nice things about getting older is that we tend to get better at living, no matter our circumstances, such as AS.

One of the good things about getting older is people are more forgiving of eccentricities and individual quirks in behaviour.
Obviously as we get older we learn to adapt and mimic NT behaviour - it's normal to mirror behaviour we observe, that's how we learned to walk, talk, and do everything.
It's fine to do that if it helps you get along with others, and doesn't make you feel fake, inauthentic, or otherwise grate with you.
If it does, then you need to weigh up and decide if it's worth it for you.

The problem I faced, is that I was one of the "invisible aspies" - I'd learned only too well how to mimic NT behaviour to the point that numerous doctors, psychologists and others either thought I wasn't on the spectrum, or thought my symptoms were so mild that it didn't warrant diagnosis.
Obviously there is a huge difference between the way we act and the way we feel; that's why so many great actors are aspies; we literally learn how to "act normal" so that we reduce the incidents of being ostracised, bullied, belittled, and abused.

So it's not wrong, and if it helps make your life easier go for it.
Just remember try as we might some of us can only fake it so much, and will always seem odd and have others pick that we are different.
That's when it becomes a judgment call; if someone spots that you're different and you have been diagnosed, you need to decide; does this person need or deserve to know my condition, and what is the likely outcome?
Some are fine if you say you're an aspie, some will not get it, and some will think you're looking for a convenient label to make your odd behaviour acceptable.

Be yourself, learn to accept yourself, and if part of that is acting NT, and you can get away with it good luck to you.
I'm just not so fortunate, and sometimes wish I was.

i used to be unable to talk to my school mates in lower grades... i had no idea what to say when they talked to me
i would say nothing, having no answers to their questions or statements to me, not understanding why they were talking
then, in third grade (or fourth), i decided it would be a good idea to imitate other girls words..
it didn't work.

.i don't want to imitate, but have imitated some 'speeches' of NT's.. it is hard to express myself in the world without the use of "imitation".
it seems to make it easier for NT's...

I think we should be more open about what/who we are and learn to teach people what autism really is. I for one am done with being a slave to NT conformity. We have to be known before we can foster understanding.

OMFG!!!11111!! ! DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE SOCIAL RULES AND CLIQUES? I HAD NO IDEA.

Anomiel

Do you mind explaining your shouting?

I do a lot of trial and error.. its my process of trying to get it right so I figure I'm getting somewhere on trying to fit in.. to me life's a journey because of all this trial and error.. I'll be so clever when I'm really old, I'll have it all figured out one day..

It took decades of practice, but I have automatized many of my scripts and workarounds. Today I can make more or less the right amount of eye contact and say the socially expected things without odd delays and without even thinking about it too much. Unless I'm tired or stressed or there are unanticipated visual or auditory distractions. Then I revert to age 15.

Learning not to waste time talking to people who act annoyed at your presence is a sign of maturity and common sense in action.

Maybe you are just more accepting of yourself now?

Many aspies suffer from NLD - this condition makes you look weirder as you age, because the gap with NT behavior widens. No amount of practice helps.