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I am going to create a scenario and I want you give your best guesstimate

This is an interaction between two people who I will make up.

I will call one person molly and the other Zed.

Let's say that it had been nearly a year since Zed had interacted with Molly after having a falling out on a basic friendship level. Zed had also not been at the same venue for a while either.

Zed walks up to Molly and gives her a hug and acts happy to see her and so Molly is contempt and willing to start over quietly.

One week passes by and Molly attempts to say hi to Zed who does not really acknowledge but seems to say "Good morning" before seeming more interested in engaging in people who they came to the venue with.

Then later, Zed seems to sit down next to Molly at lunch without as much of a hello or anything. Instead, they seem to have their back to Molly and get into a conversation with other people on the other side. Molly is just ignored the entire time by Zed.

What do you call people situations like this?

Zed may not realize that his ignoring Molly will likely alienate himself from her. She will likely be resentful of the behaviour. whether this is intentional or not is another problem altogether. Either way, Molly will not like the perceived rudeness of Zed.

I thought about Zed's behavior last night after I went to bed and I hope I am now answering my own question.

Part of me here feels that Zed would be seeming to play a mind game with Molly that they can sit as close as they can to them but still can't have the courtesy to talk to them.

(I want you to see me but it does not mean I will associate with you)

I just have never understood that behavior.

Maybe if Zed was sitting in a way that they weren't back to back (sitting next to each other or different ends of a group circle), I would think that Zed was trying to signal to Molly that he's still upset about whatever caused the falling out, and isn't entirely ready to pick up the relationship again. However, even though he isn't ready to become friends again yet, that doesn't mean he doesn't want the relationship at all.

Hmmm...maybe you are right.

Still, I don't understand why Zed would need to sit next to Molly at all if they would not be ready for the relationship. In a way, I feel that it is rather misgiving and a way of playing games.

I see what you mean. I think Zed is sitting next to Molly to say "I still want to be friends" but not talking to her to say "I'm not ready to forgive you just yet", nonverbally of course. I think Zed might be hesitant as to what he himself wants.

I really do too. In the mean time, I find that this behavior is rather confusing to Molly at any rate.

I would have to agree.

If Molly has the responsibility for the falling out, Zed may not be ready to forgive Molly, but wants to strike at her for hurting him.

Let's say that the events took place last Summer and Fall

Molly is invited over to Zed's house along with three other people that Zed hangs out with. They all seem to have a good time. Then right after, Zed vanishes for two months.


Two months later-
He does not call Molly while seeming to blow off the others who rag on Molly about hearing from Zed.

Molly gets fed up and says, "You know I do not trust Zed. Something is off about him."

A few hours later, Zed bumps into Molly and acts super happy to see her but is not upfront about what has been going on with him. "I don't know," with this little smile.

Then when they seem to depart, Zed acts funny and then just seems to get mad and storm out of the venue while taking off in their car without as much as a goodbye.

One week later- Zed sits next to Molly and ignores her while carrying on a conversation with another person who he blew off while gone. The only thing said: "Molly, are your friends still gossiping about you?"

"No," Molly replies

"Yeah gossip is bad," Zed says before completely ignoring Molly again.

Can I ask if this is coming from a personal situation you've been in or would that be too up front?
If it is, that would probably clear some things up. Personally, I base how I think someone feels about something using context from how they usually react to things.

Right now without any info on Zed or Molly's personality I would say that when Zed says "gossip is bad", he somehow found out about Molly's comment on how she doesn't trust him, and is being passive aggressive when he says "gossip is bad".

Again, this is only what I can estimate out of context. If this is a real situation please don't use my analysis to make any decisions.

Yes it is based on a real life situation but I don't want to really go into details on it. I just want some advice on the matter.

I understand. If it were me, and Zed or Molly (not sure who is representative of who) meant a lot to me, I would approach the whole situation with some hesitance. Not draw any conclusions on what their intentions are because from where I stand they seem like they could be anything.

If they know that you struggle with reading social information like this, you could try to politely ask "what's on your mind" next time you see them. Depending on how close you were with them prior to the relationship or if you are even interested in salvaging the friendship, you could try and let them know that you're having a hard time with it and would like to work things out.

Also, I'm thinking that the way Zed has been putting things into short snippets rather than long conversation makes me think that he feels a little awkward coming back into the relationship. If the falling out was an angry fight, he might be assuming that Molly is completely done with him, even if that's not the case. However, if the falling out was more just not being able to talk for awhile and gradually falling out of contact, he might feel strange coming back to something after so long.

Like I said, there's a lot of ways to interpret this situation. My only advice would be to tread lightly.

Again, this is based on a real life situation:

Anyway, while Zed would be upset with Molly for gossiping, there are two things.

1. Molly has managed to become a magnet for people who latch themselves onto her and happen to be two-faced drama and just does not trust anyone

2. Zed has seemed to have talked about a few people who have taken advantage of him by using him to buy stuff.

As for gossiping on Molly's end, she would have worked hard to try and not talk about Zed unless she had to. Zed's major disappearance and being told by others that Zed has been ignoring his friends or being blown off led would be the straw that broke the camel's back.