Long distance relationship issues

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Lenny_amon
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18 Jul 2013, 5:35 pm

Hey WP

I haven't posted here in a while, but I really don't know where else to turn to now.
A little backstory:

I met my girlfriend about 6 months ago on WoW. We developed a strong relationship(have loads in common, etc) and eventually quit WoW. She's from England, I'm from The Netherlands.
We haven't met yet due to complications(she broke her arm, then couldn't get time off work, etc).


Now as summer has arrived, she's been spending more time with her friends, I don't speak to her that often anymore(we used to skype for hours on end).
A few days ago she went out and was supposed to be back at a certain time, but didn't return until hours later. I wasn't happy about this(all I could think of was her cheating on me for some reason, long story). We talked it out and I asked her if she could keep me up to date if she was going to be late, stuff like that. The day after she went to help a friend with some support group(his son has Celebral Palsy). She didn't text me all night and stayed out all night. I was worried s**tless, I had images in my head of her mangled corpse in a car crash, spent the entire night staring at news pages, waiting for a car crash to pop up on her local news website.

It turned out she left her phone somewhere and therefore couldn't text me. This was ok, really, I kind of figured that that was what happened. Now it turns out she's still mad about the other day(tuesday-wednesday night) since she feels like I don't trust her. I really really do trust her, I just couldn't help thinking of those terrible things. Now she's going to be away for the next few nights aswell and she says I shouldn't try to keep her on a leash(paraphrasing here) and that she won't want to visit me this summer if I continue like this. Tonight she told me she was going to sleep, but I know for a fact that she's still online on Skype.

What should I do, WP? I can feel this relationship slipping away. She means more to me than anything in a world and I don't know what I would do without her. Any advice would be highly appreciated.

Cheers,

Amon.



khnk222
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18 Jul 2013, 6:45 pm

I think maybe it'd be best to just chill out -- I have a really hard time relaxing my mind about relationships -- To me it would be best for you, though, as it is for me. You're supposed to meet with her in what I assume is a short period of time from now. So, yeah, just chill out man. This is a pretty touchy subject, sorry if that doesn't help much as advice.



Lenny_amon
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18 Jul 2013, 6:49 pm

Thanks, any input is highly appreciated
I'm trying to chill out and it seems to work allright. I'm just so worried that I'll lose her over something like this. Any idea how I could shake the thought of her leaving me? It haunts my dreams



rabidmonkey4262
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18 Jul 2013, 6:59 pm

You've already showed her you care, and now it's her turn. My advice is to wait for her to make the next move. If it never happens, that means you have to let it go and get on with the rest of your life.


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Kinme
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18 Jul 2013, 8:08 pm

Be patient with her. The more you pull her in and constantly question, the more she will push you away and become distant. It can be misread as clinginess. Allow her to contact you; keep yourself preoccupied and don't worry about her. She knows you care for her.



Cilantro
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18 Jul 2013, 8:25 pm

Kinme wrote:
Be patient with her. The more you pull her in and constantly question, the more she will push you away and become distant. It can be misread as clinginess. Allow her to contact you; keep yourself preoccupied and don't worry about her. She knows you care for her.


^

Also consider this website for general LDR advice and ideas, OP. They have a huge list of activities for couples. I think after you've been in one for a little while it starts to become difficult to maintain that connection with only Skype.

http://www.lovingfromadistance.com



Lenny_amon
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19 Jul 2013, 5:19 am

Thanks for the tips all. She did say I was pushing her away while I was trying to do the opposite. I think I just need to go out with my friends more while she goes out with hers.



MR_BOGAN
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19 Jul 2013, 6:16 am

You have not met her IRL? How can you be sure you will like each other when you meet or if you meet... :scratch:

I don't think you should take things to seriously.


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rabidmonkey4262
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19 Jul 2013, 8:23 am

Lenny_amon wrote:
Thanks for the tips all. She did say I was pushing her away while I was trying to do the opposite. I think I just need to go out with my friends more while she goes out with hers.
Yes exactly. This is definitely the right approach.


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Lenny_amon
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20 Jul 2013, 6:16 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
You have not met her IRL? How can you be sure you will like each other when you meet or if you meet... :scratch:

I don't think you should take things to seriously.


Please don't post here unless you actually have something useful to say instead of critisizing my relationship without having the necessary information to rightfully do so.

So far it's going quite well, she's to a comedy festival right now and will be gone monday-tuesday to visit Cambridge Univirsity(she's going to uni after the summer).

Really appreciated the support, guys. It's nice to know that there's a place where I can ask for advice without fear of being judged. It really means a lot to me!