Still trying to get diagnosed

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I've tried several times to get diagnosed with Asperger's (I guess it would be called Autism now) over the past 12 years, though I haven't been evaluated formally since early 2006. Sometimes I think that I'm an Aspie, other times not. I think that the reason I haven't been diagnosed may be because I'm a woman, or because I'm older and have learned to act somewhat normal. But it could also be my own fault--that I was so afraid of a diagnosis and communicated my fear to the doctor, and they gave me an alternate diagnosis (social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder) because they thought I would be unable to handle an AS diagnosis.

I've since been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD by a psychiatrist who didn't have a lot of experience with people with AS who didn't present with the most obvious symptoms.

I've seen several doctors who are experts with people on the spectrum. (one was a neuropsychologist, one psychiatrist and two psychologists.) In going back and reading between the lines of the writeups they gave me, I think they didn't want to upset me with an AS diagnosis because of my fears. For instance, one doctor said that the treatment for my social anxiety would probably be similar to that for someone with Asperger's. Another said that some of my symptoms and results of one test pointed to Asperger's, but then when he sent me the diagnosis he said that he couldn't diagnose me with AS because of various factors and said I had social anxiety disorder instead.

I would like to know for sure, but I don't know whether I should keep trying. I don't feel like I can accept that I have AS unless I have a diagnosis, but I do feel I have traits. I would be able to accept it if a doctor could tell me I have it. It would explain some things anyway. But I still have a fear of the diagnosis for some reason, and I've never been able to get over that.

The state university where I live has opened their autism center up to adults, and I'd like to go for an evaluation. However, the head of the center is one of the doctors who told me I didn't have AS.

I've always been very awkward with people in any situation, and I realize that I've also developed sociall anxiety and avoidant personality disorder, but I think a lot of people on the spectrum develop these. I've always been very anxious about other things too, which I know a lot of people on the spectrum had trouble with (but 10 years ago I was hearing that anxiety wasn't necessarily caused by autism). I never thought I took things literally before, but I realize now that I do take some things somewhat literally.

Well I think you should trust whom you've seen. If they think you don't have it and you've seen so many then you probably don't have it. But I mean if your afraid of the diagnosis then maybe go one more time to someone else-don't tell them that part-and see what happens. Also why do you want the diagnosis if your afraid of it? That confuses me.

It would explain why I've always had so much anxiety, and why I have problems on my job whenever everything isn't laid out for me, and why I seem to make bad decisions on the simplest of things.

AS isn't an anxiety disorder. Its a social thing yes but more along the lines of being terribly awkward like for instance the other day my mom was being sarcastic with me and I took her literally so I said "Okay," and then she told me it was sarcasm. Social anxiety can develop in some people with it when they get older. And those other 2 symptoms you've listed aren't AS either.

It is not... BUT several anxiety disorders are considered co-morbid conditions...

However... If mental health care professionals, (emphasis on multiple) feel that you do not have an autistic spectrum disorder... chances are... you don't...

Having problems on a job when things aren't laid out specifically, is often the result of a generalized anxiety or another anxiety disorder.

@Norah - how rare is this? You've been on WP for nearly 10 years and only have 14 posts?

I know I said that anxiety disorders can develop.

If several autism experts tell you you don't have it, chances are they are right and you need to stop desperately looking for a label to use as an identity or an excuse.

I know... I was addressing the bigger issue...

If mental health professionals do not feel you are on the spectrum... it is unlikely that multiples are wrong... the anxiety you describe sounds like an anxiety disorder and not a spectrum disorder.

Oh I'm sorry I misunderstood. P.S I completely agree.

I'm curious as to why you would "try to get diagnosed" as anything? You obviously have seen multiple health professionals and if they have not diagnoised you as having AS then accept it. My advice would be, if you dont have one already, find a therapist who you are comfortable talking with and that is willing to work with you on your issues. Don't worry about diagnosis' or any such stuff. Worry about improving your life for the better, if there is something that bothers you about yourself or your actions, work with your therapist to help improve that.

Thanks so much to everyone who has answered. The reason I thought the lifelong anxiety was significant is because I've read things here and in other places, both from people on the spectrum and their parents, that autistic kids seem to have a lot of anxiety, much more so than their siblings or peers. I had no siblings to comparre to, but I know that I always did have a lot of anxiety as a child, and was always scared of things that the other kids weren't scared of, such as heights and jumping off stuff. I was always very clumsy too, and not very good at anything physical--catching stuff, running, etc. Part of it was poor eyesight but part of it is physical.

I always was a weird kid who didn't fit in socially and was socially anxious before I had reason to be. Then of course because I was odd and clumsy and shy I was picked on and teased a lot and had trouble making friends, then I developed worse social anxiety, and later on became avoidant. It just seems like if I was a child now, I would probably have been diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder of some kind.

I just think it would probably explain a lot, and I keep thinking that I will probably get told some day that I'm on the spectrum, probably by someone I'm working on my other issues with, and I'd rather find out sooner than later so I'd know what could be fixed and what couldn't. I realize at my age I should have dealt better with some of this stuff.

Another thing that just bothered me recently--some people were saying that the fictional character Anne of Green Gables was Asperger's, or had many Asperger's traits, and if she was a real person in today's world she might be diagnosed as such and oculd be used as a model for girls on the spectrum. f anyone has read the books, even though she was an odd girl who was extremely imaginative, hot-tempered and cerrtainly different from her peers, she never had any trouble making friends for the most part (unless they teased her about her red hair--that's what she usualy got angry about.). If someone like her could have Asperger's, someone like me certainly must have.

I really don't think that comparing yourself to a fictional character is a suitable route to follow.

The autistic traits that you do have may not be seen as severe enough to qualify you for a positive diagnosis. You may be correct that you have learned enough coping strategies to balance out the effects. The fact that you have already been assessed by a doctor who is employed by an autism clinic is significant. Either that appraisal is correct or the standards of the clinic are poor and another visit would probably be a waste of time. I would edge towards the former.

As there is no actual treatment for aspergers it would be much more efficient for you to work on the parts of your life that you can change, and accept that none of us are perfect. Often life does not make sense, try to make the best of what you have got.

Best wishes, NW.

I agree that if the professional consensus is that you don't have it, you probably don't have it. However, that doesn't mean that you don't have real problems and struggles in life. Social anxiety disorder is a serious condition , for example and some emotional and adjustment problems can be serious cause a lot of distress. ASD has gotten a lot if attention in the media lately. It's really just starting to be thoroughly researched and understood properly which is why, IMO, it's become sort of a fad and gotten a lot of attention in the last few years.

It seems to me that you're not alone. At least a few others who've posted on this site have gone to many different professionals trying to obtain an ASD diagnosis, they'll keep trying even when more than one professional has told them they're not autistic. The identity as an aspie and the explanation for being different seem to be common reasons for wanting the diagnosis. That is understandable. Other disorders and disabilities can be just as severe and impairing and can have as many strengths and talents to compensate for the weaknesses and impairments and are just as important. Other disorders can make a person feel different or unique throughout their lives. You can still identify yourself as a person with a disability. You still have an explanation/excuse for being different and struggling in life and it's a very valid one. Good luck to you.

Me too, I think that I am still trying to find a place where I can do so.