should I give up on nt women

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I don't think any sane,average looking or better,have an ok life,or better,nt women
would ever date me. i've done good with autism women,I have dated two.
but i've never dated an nt women and I don't think any nt women who's
not crazy would ever date a lower autism guy like myself.

so,should I just chase the mid-lower autism ladies and the weird nt women.
am I just wasting my time trying to date a stable nt women.

im not mild, I am semi-special,if you get what I mean.

Yes, you should. I am mild in many areas, and I still find it impossible to relate to NT women as people.

I find most NT women to be just like a complicated machine with buttons that need to be pushed in a certain sequence. I often mess up the sequence or get it occasionally right and find the operation of the machine to be quite underwhelming.

Hard for us to relate to NT women any other way than as a mysterious machine. At least non-NT women are more like us, so we can relate to them as people rather than as scary alien contraptions.

I wouldn't say you should give up on any particular type of girl. Once you start labeling girls and putting them into types that you want to date or don't want to date you cut out a bunch of the dating pool. I'd suggest focusing on particular girls. Do you like this girl, do you get along with her well, do you like the same things as she does, etc. Then date that girl and not her label.

But it's more like a wiring than a label. Of course, there are some NT girls who are wired to be extreme empaths, and OP may get along with those. Then, there are NT women with personality disorders who may not reject OP out of hand but whom OP may want to avoid. Why shouldn't OP just date women who are wired like him, like he did previously?

In any case, your typical, practical, gender-conforming NT woman is not a good match for most aspie guys.

You might work on being more attractive and interesting to all kinds of women, and thus increase your chances no matter what.

when your a mid-lower autism male it's make it very tough to attract stable,sane nt women.
remember Im ''semi-special''.

Should you give up on NT's completely? No. They can be hard to understand sometimes, especially in relationships (I'm sure they feel the same way about us), but I don't think you should give up on NT women altogether.

I think you are just not finding the right type of woman for you. If you are having a hard time finding a woman who can understand and cope with your autistic quirks, maybe you should start looking for a woman who can understand that more because of her life experiences. For example, an NT who grew up with an Aspie relative, or works in a profession where she works with Aspie people every day.

Then there's always women who are not Aspie, but non-NT (bipolar, OCD, dyslexic, etc), who would understand what it's like to be different from everyone else. Dating Aspie women can always be an option, too.

I don't know if you should give up on anyone.

Lets say some NT woman is interested in you, then that seems like an opportunity you should definately persue.

I think it's a sensible approach not to target NT's in particular as some really may not get you.

So sure, target those people you think will get you.

In my expedience I'm not compatible with normal NT woman. I'm too direct/straightforward/blunt, rigid, awkward, introverted ect. The 3 girlfriends I had were Aspies or had some Aspie traits. I'm not a typical Aspie thou; I'm more emotionally needy in a relationship than the average NT guy; also I'm pretty fucntional with my Aspergers except I have limitations/disabilities/issues besides AS & I don't have any of the stereotyped Aspie strengths or skills so all that makes me less functional.

i think it is quite possible for an NT woman to be attracted to and get along well with a man who is on the deeper end of the autism spectrum...especially if she is introverted. why? well, look at what defines an introvert (the following descriptions are by Laurie Helgoe, PhD):

**The brains of introverts become very active in response to what’s going on around them. The inner bells and whistles go on, and the introvert wants to crunch the data, understand the story, to make sense of it all. Because there’s so much activity inside, too much activity outside (noise, social input) can turn a “fun” event into an exhausting chore.

**Introverts like to think first and talk second. If you share something with an introvert, he or she wants to consider what you said. Pressure to talk without space for thought, and to respond without space for reflection, deprives the introvert of what is most pleasurable about conversation.

**Introverts would rather exchange thoughts and ideas than social information (“small talk”).
Introverts like to warm up to activity and interaction. They are also selective about what, with whom and when to share personal information.

does that sound a bit like you? if so, you're likely to click with one. you need to hang out where introverted NT women would most likely be -- and you'll likely be wasting your time by going to bars or parties. go to places that *you* are interested in, and you'll be more likely to find them.

if you're not familiar with things like how to determine if a woman is interested in you, how to approach her, talk to her, ask her out, etc., there is a lot of info about it online, including a brief video on autism talk tv: http://www.wrongplanet.net/article434.html

good luck.

(btw, i'm female and have NLD, but NT social skills, and dated quite a bit before i got married)

from my own experience, it's hard to say.

I've come to realize that the ladies find me very appealing now, but...now the tables are turned, and I'm not finding them so impressive anymore.

They find me very intimidating, and in most cases know they can't live up to what they see me as.

After the experience with my now-ex, I sadly see it as coming down to a lot of nitpicking, and even what appears to be a small problem I see as growing into something much bigger.

Two examples:

there are two gals that I found extremely appealing, one of which directly admitted she was interested in me. Take note I'm friends with both of them.

Now, the one that admitted she was interested in me has Cerebal Palsy; ok, no big deal to me; cause I don't think she's that bad looking (not mind-blowing either, but y'know), and I thought she was pretty smart too; and I appreciated that she came forward and asked me out.

Unfortunately, from very early on I sensed a problem: when we spoke on the phone, I'd ask what was up, and she'd keep saying "nothing"; I'd have to keep the convo going. I don't like to keep the convo going; I like a nice back-and-forth, and I clearly wasn't getting it.

Then I found out from a former staff worker of hers that she can walk, just chooses not to. Right there was one of the biggest turn-offs to me, being a major fighter all the time, and being super-motivated.

As for the other one: a lot more attractive, and we're into a lot of the same stuff; also she seems to have a pretty nice working understanding of Autism, and she can keep a convo going.

So what were my problems here? Well, I know that the man she believed was her soul mate passed on....and apparently the guy smoked weed. But...that wasn't the big turn-off. No....it was that she's a social drinker.

When I hear that, I hear "following the crowd", and as someone as independently minded as myself, no matter how appealing she is otherwise, that one is a bit of a burn to me.

Also she wants a godly man, and while I am a smidge spiritual, I am not a godly man.



The thing is....I only know of one Autistic female in my own personal life--a close friend's wife, but take note she and he are almost 10 years younger than I am, so they see the world much as I saw it about 10 years ago, so again....it's very hard to judge.


The truth is...right now, I really don't think anyone is right for me.

And I believe Mrs. Right doesn't exist yet because I'm not Mr. Right yet, either.

I'm gonna be posting a very thorough analysis of all of this towards the end of this year on Facebook; I'll be more than happy to share it with everyone here.