I think my 5 year old son may have Aspergers.

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I think my 5 year old son may have Aspergers.
I made this account because the two people I always go to for advice and support (my mother and my son's father) think I'm overreacting and over analyzing.
So here I am, hoping for any insight you guys care to share.

I apologize in advance for the wall of text. Below are the things I've noticed that made me think he may be on the spectrum.

List:

When he's thinking he taps each fingers against his thumb. Or if he's over tired he'll shake his head back and forth like roll it on the back or his seat.

He tends to control conversations. For example,
If I had a knock knock joke and then changed who was at the door he'll be like no. You have to say this and then want me to repeat it over again the "right" way. And then he'll laugh at it.
He gets really upset if things aren't said the way he thinks they should be.

Very temperamental. Easily frustrated and meltdowns. If he can't figure something out he can't just move on from it, he has like a full blown meltdown about it. To where I'm consoling him because he's worked himself up so much. He has this thing about races and being fast(loooovveess sonic the hedgehog).So every time we get home and get out of the car he races to the front door and if anyone gets there sooner than him he loses it. One time our cat saw us pull up so it walked to the door. Logan saw that the cat was gonna get to the door before us and freaked out.

He seems really uncoordinated at times. When I'm holding his hand down the street it begins to feel like I'm dragging him because he'll start turning or twirling or trying to walk backwards or just trip over his own feet.

Sometimes he'll repeat the same word over and over and phrases he's heard before but he'll just say them continuously. He also makes noises that aren't words and will just make those noises over and over again. Like 40 times.

He has favorite episodes of certain shows and favorite scenes to the point where he'll replay the same scene a couple times over again and laugh, rewind. Laugh, and repeat.

Very bright. He's very tech savvy, He can setup an Xbox,dvd player, pretty much any video game console. Understands the video input on the tv. He uses a computer with ease, he knows to use the search Bar like once I was in the other room folding clothes and he walked over to me with a pen and paper asking me to spell spongebob. So I did and he said thanks walked off to the living room. I finished folding and went in the other room and he was on the computer with the piece of paper next to the keyboard...playing a spongebob game.
He's big into video games and plays 7+ games with ease.
He says things that seem unusual for his age like:
Once when I noticed him skipping a particular level in a game so I asked him why and his reply was "Because it's stupid, it's a cheap level design."

He makes eye contact just fine I mean sometimes he'll start to look off somewhere else if he's getting into a long winded speech but thats about it. He also is kinda strange about social cues. Like he'll just hang on people or talk an inch away from there face and I'm constantly telling him personal space cause I can tell the other person is uncomfortable by it.

He has no problem talking to people, he is always very inquisitive and engaging although I have noticed when it comes to playing with other kids a lot of things are on his terms, or he'll insist they play a video game with him or watch him play one.
(Just to clarify he spends about 4 hours total watching tv/playing games. 2 hours on each )

I noticed some sensory issues he has
He covered his ears at the movies.
He gets startled by the sound of trains (hides under picnic table at my moms when one comes by) or those automatic flushing toilets.
He hates wearing shoes.
Despises haircuts.
Certain materials bother him and he just hates wearing them. I have to cut tags off of the majority of his shirts. And lastly,
I still can't really trust him to use the potty on his on and come out when he's done because he'll just stay in there forever playing with the sink water unless I get him out of the bathroom.

So thats a list of some of the things I feel are a bit off.
And honestly I don't know any other 5 year olds to know what "typical behavior" is.

Any advice, opinions, input you care to share would we super appreciated.
Thanks =]

try this brief test based on the criteria docs used to use (DSM IV) for diagnosing AS:
www.iautistic.com/test_AS.php

I couldn't get to the site by clicking on the link in this post. had to type the address into the address bar. between test and AS is an _ .

You've certainly given us enough for a half-decent armchair diagnosis, but I'd rather focus on lessening some burdens. I was diagnosed at the same age and never got any solid help from public school IEP programs as a result. Instead, I ducked school admins and security all week, every week after years of slowly becoming fed up with being de-facto I.T. staff without credit or pay, in favor of teaching myself more software. MORE!! Seriously, the only thing disability provisions did for me was make it easier to bring my laptop to class. Driving to school, only to be literally backed into a corner and counseled on a "disability" is the most ridiculous thing I've ever gone through. Don't think for a second that it let up either, I'm still studying, after my G.E.D, as I weigh college options. You mentioned he's into his Xbox... Long story short, I have a cousin who could provide a discounted, JTAG capable Xbox (a device that stands a good chance of turning your son into a developer, considering what he's able to infer) and I'd be happy to pull some strings to find it for you, or just provide consultation about raising someone you clearly find more tech-savvy than yourself. I know my parents still don't really appreciate my ability, so I'd relish the opportunity to give you an early start.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I was trying to post an image but it's not working -
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid ... =1&theater
This probably would have been really helpful when my son was 3/4 years old

I am not a doctor of any kind, so keep the standard disclaimers in mind. I do think you have enough to warrant investigation. At 5, if he is mild enough, they may be hesitant to give a diagnosis. If he is 5, then I am assuming that he either goes to school now, or will be starting in the fall, if you are in a country that starts in the fall? In the U.S you can request that the school district evaluate him, as a start. You can go for private diagnosis, too, but I would suggest starting with the school district. They should do a full diagnosis, but will primarily care about the things that directly impact the school experience and their ease/difficulty of dealing with him.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Here's the thing to think about: what would you want out of a diagnosis? A diagnosis is a tool to get you and your child the services and support you need.

I can see where, other than the meltdowns, you're probably doing fine without one right now - and ASDMommyASDKid is right, often when kids are high-functioning at 5, the diagnosis can be "soft" and won't get you much...but you will find that as your child gets older, the issues that concern you now may become significant to everyone later. I think she's right, I'd have him evaluated by your school system, as it's free for you and if they find any specific delays they can provide services for them - however, if they don't find anything, you can always ask for a re-evaluation as he becomes older. (Word to the wise, even if your child is extremely verbal - have them test his speech. Deficits in social use of speech are common in kids on the spectrum, and schools sometimes "skip" that part of the evaluation when they are looking for autism. Ask that he be tested for pragmatic speech: http://www.asha.org/public/speech/devel ... matics.htm )

However, if you have the means or insurance, don't discount getting a professional evaluation from a specialist. Autism, particularly high-functioning autism, can be difficult to diagnose. The gold standard test is the ADOS, although the CDC website lists several others - and the general recommendation is to go to a multi-disciplinary practice that specializes in developmental disorders, usually headed by a pediatric neuropsychologist or a developmental pediatrician, but which includes speech therapists, OTs, social workers, etc. They will be better able to catch a delay earlier that won't be significant until a child gets older.

The big issue is getting support for communication problems in place as soon as possible: you can also figure this out by seeing if the supports for kids with AS work for your child. There's an "index" stickied to the top of the board, as well as recommended reading - read up on some of the systems that people use to help their children and see if they work for you (e.g. visual schedules, social stories, etc.) My son got a soft diagnosis from the school when he was in 1st grade that we didn't really believe because it was done so poorly. It was when we finally figured out that if we treated him as though he had AS (Asperger's) that all our lives suddenly became easier - THAT was when we realized we needed a good diagnosis.

Rambling a bit, sorry - good luck to you!

I agree with the others. You have enough areas of concern to warrant a professional evaluation. I will also second the idea that at the age of 5, you might not walk away with anything. My son was first evaluated at 5 and they basically told me he was "bright." But by age 7, even though he was just as "bright," that was not the professional label used to describe him. And now at 11, no one who is familiar with typical childhood development would mistake my son as someone who does not have deficits. Wow. That sounds negative and I don't mean it to be. He is still bright, is mainstreamed, has friends, and is generally a happy kid. But the older he has gotten, the harder some of his deficits have become for him to compensate more and in social arenas, the gap between he and many of his peers is too large not to notice.

He sounds a lot like my son, who I'm pretty sure has Asperger's or ADHD or both.

We have a soft diagnosis of ADHD; the psychologist ruled out Asperger's because he "makes good eye contact." He actually doesn't, but I've spent a few years coaching him on looking at people. He almost never looks me, or anyone else, directly in the eye; instead I have taught him, "You don't have to look at my eyes, but you do have to point your face in the general direction of my face." It's enough to signal paying attention, and that's all most people really want.

ADHD being a less loaded diagnosis to have in a post-Sandy Hook world, I didn't press it and am not going to.

When I got the ADHD diagnosis, the pysch immediately started telling me what he could and couldn't do, what I could and could not expect, medicate this and therapy that and "Lifetime of limitations, lowered expectations, blah-blah-blah."

I got very upset and talked to the folks at the school. Much to my surprise, they read the psych's recommendations and had about the same reaction I did. "No. NO. NO, NO, NO. This is going to kill the kid. PLEASE don't do this!!" So I dropped it there, and that's where it lays.

I have a very hard time getting the psych and the girls in his office to understand that neither the school nor the parents are open to throwing the kitchen sink at the boy. They call up every few weeks wanting to know if I have "come around." Every few weeks, I tell them the same thing: That I am going to be working with the school for a long time, and I really can't afford to stuff anything down their throats. Certainly we can keep in touch. That's just because I'm afraid they'll sic CYS on me if I tell them to bugger off, and because I know we might need them someday and don't want it to be an adversarial relationship then.

On the whole, at this point I regret having had him evaluated.

You certainly observe enough to warrant interest, but I would be careful about seeking diagnosis and/or accomodations. For the reasons I just listed above, it can end up doing a lot more harm than good. I'm not saying not to do it, just-- be leery.

First and foremost, give him mental stimulation.
Don't push him into the background and worry about him not being.normal.
Find his strengths, work with them, work with him.
Be his parent. Be his friend.

Your post about your son sounded exactly like my son! My son is also a huge fan of Sonic the Hedgehog and other video games like Star Wars made for kids much older then his age. He is very tech savy as well. He will type on the computer, but dare not pick up a pencil or crayon because his fine motor skills are so weak. My son also hates loosing, specifically races. He will have a huge meltdown over thi. He repeats tv shows word for word, he memorizes books word for word and everything you say he will repeat or memorize and repeat it over and over again during the day. He has just started Senior Kindergarten, skipped Junior kindergarten because it was a disaster! Long story short, he had huge anxiety about staying at school without us and the school did not help out one bit. We moved and the new school is amazing and has helped him overcome his anxiety about being at school without Mom and Dad. My son also will not make eye contact with anyone, except my aunt's dog. He loves this dog to death. Anyway, I hope that both you and I are able to get a diagnosis so we can make use of the resources out there to help our kids thrive because they very bright and beautiful kids!

I also wanted to add that my husband thinks I am overeacting as well, eventhough his half sister has 2 kids with Aspergers. My mother in-law is fortunately on my side.