Shutdowns?

Post Reply New Topic

I am still looking back to understand.
In my early 20és, my social anxiety grew stronger, and my mother was after me regarding my behavior, withdrawal, repetitive behaviors and all that.

Sometimes, when we went shopping together, I could radically go into myself, go blank and just stand there. One of the worst times it was like waking up, when I suddenly found myself staring into the face of a worried bank clerk.
My mother was furious, and after a few incidents like that, I had to learn to "stay on my outside" looking alert (I felt like a zombie during the disappearences, so it took some effort to stop them).
It cost a few panic attacks with me running down the street and my mother behind me, yelling and scolding.
I continued doing my disappearing acts many years into adulthood.
Was that shut-downs?

My mother and I had a rough time with each other when I was young. She didn´t know, that she was an aspie. She just grew up as the odd child and was often the despised adult (in spite of her charm and all her talents), - so she was watching out for "abnormal" traits in me and grew very critical about any atypical behavior from my side, which could raise criticism against her.

Sad that your mother didn`t understand you and proberly made it worse. "The shout downs" that you describe I am very familar with. I think those happens when you/me come in a stressed situation and it is the brain`s to handle that situation so it will not lead to a "melt down".

She didn´t understand herself.

So you recognize these conditions?
Yes, you are probably right. It must have been a defense against total panic.
I actually felt safe when I did it, so having to learn not to disappear was like having to leave a nice cave.

Never heard of "shutdowns" before but I'd say this is related to social anxiety. I'm still learning what it means to be an aspie, but have a crapload of experience dealing with anxiety and depression.

If anxiety is the problem, the only way you will ever beat it is by facing it. Anxiety seems to get worse when you confront it, but it reaches a peak and then it cannot climb any more - in fact it starts to reduce. Recovery from anxiety disorders comes when your body learns that anxiety does indeed reduce and that it won't hurt you or kill you.

Yes, it is clearly related to social anxiety, but some people are more prone to use exactly this kind of defence, than others, - namely those with autism, I believe.

Luckily social anxiety seem to diminish/shrink with age.

Jensen: Oh yes i total recognize these conditions sinceI have experenced them myself more than one time. It happens often to me, particular in shops, that I will "come to myself" outside the shop, but I have bought what I came for but I can`t remember it.

Thank you for a very good description. I'm going to add this to my list of characteristics of Asperger's-Autism Spectrum. And of course people remain individual and not every trait pertains to every person.

1) sensory issues,

2) shutdowns,

3) patchy social skills,

4) intense intellectual interests,

5) stimming,

6) meltdowns.

And by the way, I'm kind of proud of my developing list. I think it's better than DSM-4, in large part because I've kept it in human terms and haven't tried to put it in stiff, formal, academic language.