Parents limiting their child's water intake

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Looking to shed some light on a mysterious experience I had during childhood. When I was between ages 6 and 10, my parents got into this strange thing: limiting my water intake. First, a little bit of background. In the town I lived in, tap water was of somewhat questionable quality, although not unsafe. (The condo building I lived in was hooked up to the city water supply, but some single-family subdivisions still pumped well water.) So my parents kept a small water cooler/pitcher in the kitchen, just out of my reach. When I was little, everything was fine: if I said I was thirsty, they'd give me a glass water anytime I asked for it. Life went on.

But as I got older, and by extension, tall enough to reach the water cooler myself, they started limiting how much water I drank. They'd give me a glass or two with meals. But between meals, drinking water was a BIG no-no in my family. If I asked for water, they'd say: "No! You don't really feel thirsty. Drinking water is some kind a ritual for you, and we won't let you make a habit of it. We're adults, and we know what's best for you." When I tried reaching for the water cooler myself, they'd yell at me to stay away from it! Quite often, they'd grab me by the waist, drag me away from the kitchen counter, and spank me very hard, as penalty for "drinking water as a dumb ritual." The only explanation they gave me was a vague excuse about "too much water being bad for the digestive system." Trying to tell my parents that I really was thirsty and not just "playing a stupid game" was a waste of time and effort. It was easier for me to drink from the bathroom faucet and deal with the nasty chlorine taste. My much-older sister, on the other hand, was always free to take water from the cooler anytime she wanted.

One time, when I spilled a glass of water onto the kitchen floor, they took the entire cooler of water, and dumped it into the kitchen sink and made me watch. At the same time, they'd turn around and tell me to have a glass of water if I actually felt thirsty. (Of course, when I'd tell them I was thirsty outside of meal times, they never believed me.) They also recruited my grandparents to police me, who also didn't let me drink water between meals. My grandparents' tactics were less harsh, but equally strict. To add insult to the injury, their house was on well water, which made it taste even worse than the city water at my parents' condo. Drinking out of the faucet at their bathroom was only a last-resort option. Plus, they always had watermelon at their house, and asking for some was a sneaky way for me to quench my thirst, and I was even given a small sip of water (and only a small sip) to rinse out my mouth afterwards.

Of course, I knew that "all adults were lying to me". So every time I had to go to the bathroom at home, I'd open the faucet, and chug water straight from it, like a 21-year-old frat guy chugging beer out of a beer bong. The tap water didn't taste good at all. Maybe the nearby river was polluted, maybe the pipes were outdated, but whatever it was, it had a very strong chlorine taste. Also, when at school, I'd spend an awfully long time at water fountains, because the school's water tasted somewhat better. Lucky for me, my parents never caught on to either of this, and the teacher never ratted me out.

At age 10 or so, my family moved across the country. At the new place, they dropped the whole idea with limiting my water intake. So I was once again free to drink as much water as I pleased. Although for the first six months, I still drank massive amounts from the bathroom faucets, until the memory of my parents limiting my intake faded far enough into the past. The tap water was less saturated with chlorine than at my old place, so I was way more comfortable drinking it directly out of the faucet.

I thought it was really weird that my parents were doing this. While I had boatloads of AS-related health problems (like chronic insomnia and recurring constipation), I'm convinced that I never had any illnesses that would require limiting water intake (like some problem with kidneys, for example). And if the water in the mains was so bad, what was wrong with me drinking from the water cooler beyond the arbitrary "meal times only" limit? Why would my parents be so fervent about limiting my water intake? Parents of WP, any ideas?

I'm not a parent, but I can say that sounds HIGHLY unusual.

The only thing that stops me from calling it abusive is that it stopped when you moved across the country.

Off the top of my head, perhaps your parents heard a rumor about the water being unsafe that either was exaggerated or that they decided to be overprotective about.

or maybe the doctor did tell your parents about some kind of medical condition that you weren't privy to or forgot about

I must admit this does sound a bit idiosyncratic, but your parents weren't denying you water, since you could have all the tap water you wanted; they were denying you the water you wanted. There is a difference, since the water you had in unlimited supply may not have tasted good, but by your own admission was safe to drink.

I don't get it either. Water is unlimited. Were they worried about their water bill? Was their money that tight? Or were they worried you would harm yourself? Too much water is bad for you.

It's freaking me out a bit this thread.

Actually, they didn't want me drinking tap water, either; they said it wasn't safe. (In the way they talked, "not safe" implied a lesser degree of harm than "dangerous".) One time, when they saw me drink from the tap while I was brushing my teeth, they were unhappy. They said that drinking water was for meal times only. Any other time, tap water was only for washing hands and showering. So I had to sneak tap water behind their back.

How did I do that?

Simple! Just as they were strict about limiting my water intake, they were equally strict about me washing my hands after going to the bathroom. (I'm very meticulous about it to this day, which is a good thing.) This created a loophole: in order for me to wash my hands, I had to turn on the water. Now, by age 6, I started wanting privacy in the bathroom, and they said OK. This allowed me to exploit the loophole. But instead of spending 20 second scrubbing my hand with soap and water, I'd just wash them quickly, and spend most of the time chugging water from the faucet. Kind of sad, if you think about it: having to resort to loopholes like a lawyer at age 6.

I can't imagine why they did that unless at one point you were drinking gallons of water every day, enough that potential water intoxication was a concern.

I've heard my maternal grandfather was sort of like that but the opposite with his kids. They weren't allowed to drink with meals because then he thought they'd fill up with water and not eat all their food. He was strict about food too. I've also heard that my paternal grandfather kept locks on the fridge and cupboard. Both were the type the made you eat what was put in front of you or you went without.

I don't know if your parents are old enough but maybe it was one of those growing up during the depression type things?

Aspie1, it's really hard to judge what is going on here with only your side of the story. Obviously, we're reading what you write - and since it seemed weird to you, it seems weird to us.

OTOH, there may have been mitigating circumstances we don't know about. At best, your parents were probably neither honest nor forthcoming with what the circumstances were - and at worst, they were simply about exerting control.

However, I can think of situations where I might restrict a preschool or kindergarten-age child's water intake: for instance, if the were struggling to be potty trained and I might lose my childcare if they had an accident (we instead chose a preschool where kids were allowed to learn in their own time - but not everybody has that choice.) Or, if a child is drinking as part of a stim or ritual to the point where it might negatively affect their health (if you drink too much water - admittedly, it has to be a considerable amount - you run the risk of flushing out your body's electrolytes.)

Not saying that either of these scenarios are likely, just an example of reasons where this kind of restriction is not unreasonable. The third option is the one I've mentioned to you before - it's possible your parents themselves had AS, and managed their deficits by becoming hyper-controlling, or already had some form of OCD and you bore the brunt of the lack of resources in those days.

the fact that her older sister was under no such restrictions, tells me that is simple child abuse.

Ok, I'm going to try and give your parents the benefit of the doubt here.

1) Your tap water had questionable qualities. I'm assuming your parents had to pay for the cooler water and maybe they had to limit its consumption to avoid additional costs. When you moved, it became a non-issue because maybe the quality of water was better.

2) There is such thing as too much water. Our electrolytes has a balance of salt and water. Too much of either will off-set this balance and cause health concerns.

3) Someone mentioned toileting. Were you a bed-wetter?

4) Personality: My son has a tendency of fixating over certain things and those things change all the time. There's a possibility you WERE over drinking which caused some concern. It may have been short-lived but sometimes rules stick around a lot longer than necessary. Due to these restrictions, you may have had the desire to drink more water out of fear of getting dehydrated.

On a side note, it's best to drink water throughout the day and IN BETWEEN meals. Drinking water during meals affect stomach acids production.

Why don't you ask them? Be precise and remind them of the age frame. Ask them why they lost concern after you moved to your new place.

Another thing is were they denying you just water, or any drinks (milk, juice etc) at all?