Good news for my haters: The Boo is finally devastated.

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PS: No, this isn't a parody thread like the previous one.

I've been seeing a Muslim young woman the these 2 last weeks and half, it started slowly online then met her several times and we became more and more obsessed in no time with each other, mutual communication went non-stop, even until dawn.

There was intense mutual sexual attraction, and there was strong physical contact, we talked about extreme private stuff and she was the most understanding to my quirks and shortcomings- we've became so intimate quickly, to the point that I thought I have finally found my match.

This is all collapsed yesterday when she asked me why I am not fasting (it's the Islamic fasting month) - so I've told her I am not religious and I am agnostic, almost atheist, I usually don't disclose this info that fast but I didn't want to dodge the question, plus she isn't a devout muslim (otherwise she wouldn't be involved in sexual activity during the holy month of fasting!), she's not veiled nor she practices praying, so I thought it wouldn't be a major issue - the impact was much worse than expected; I've tried to fix the damage for hours, I've told her I have no problem with other people's faiths (and I do, I am not militant atheist) and it's not like I want to change her - it was no use : everything else she liked about me evaporated in her eyes instantly at that moment, she turned out she can't tolerate a life partner who doesn't believe in religion, she suggested to remain friends instead but who am I kidding, she also suggested to start seeking for another woman.

I could dodge the question and let her know about it gradually, something that always worked before after successive experimentation - but I was big mouthed this time in a bad timing, again, I've paid the price of my blunt honesty.

I have a question to religious people here: if you liked someone and turned out not of the same faith or lacking faith, would you neglect everything else about him/her?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Aug 2013, 3:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

It was something I had to come to terms with. I still have trouble from time to time, but I feel that this was the right decision to stay in the relationship, with the consequences of him not being religious like me. I can imagine that you were very hurt by this, and I am sorry to hear it. I hope she comes to terms with it and accepts it; it shouldn't make or break a relationship, in my opinion.

The answer will vary from person to person. There are hardcore religious people and there are more relaxed ones. You will not have a chance in hell with the hardcore crowd if you're not hardcore yourself.

The more relaxed ones may accept if not an atheist then an agnostic at least, as long as your everyday actions align with a similar moral code to what they expect.

The thing is, I was pretty devout myself. I changed this aspect because I knew that I would have missed out on a great opportunity to be with someone I may spend the rest of my life with, whether or not the whole me not being Jewish (even with him being atheist/Jewy) would affect his family, and him not being Christian would affect mine. We dealt with it. Unfortunately, it does happen that people just can't accept it. I feel they may be missing out on a great chance to be with someone who will love them.

If its this time real I feel really sorry for you. I am non believing myself. Viewed from the outside I suggest, that people that are really deeply into religious believes, are afraid that not believing could be punished by eernal damnation. (Sory if this sounds to lunatic, my english is mostly based on games so sometimes I miss the propper words.) So when its about an relationship, I think one cause to be afraid, could be because religious people fear, that their partners could educate their nonbelieving to their children, and that their children would be damned, because of that as well. Most religious people have a more moderate oppinion today, so if the behavior of an person fits mostly into the religious believings, then they dont think that a possible god will damn their partners, only out of "official" reasons.

I dont think you made a bad thin, by telling her truthful, that you are agnostic. So you maybe could have lied to her about that for a certain time, but in an relationship sooner or later she would have known, and then felt cheated by you, if you lied about it.

Its simply really sad.

Sorry to hear but better you found out sooner than wait months or years only to be even more devastated.

No matter what the degree of practice, most religious people simply won't date someone who doesn't agree with their beliefs.

Also, you don't have haters.

You have no idea lol.

If you ain't trolling, Boo (and you do cry wolf a bit), then I feel sorry for you.

I don't think you were at fault. She would have dumped you anyway - if she was that obstinate about political/religious beliefs, it's good that you know about this now rather than waiting a year, pretending or living a lie.

Personally, I think I'd find it very difficult to be in a relationship with anyone like this of any religion. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was insistent about their Christianity, for instance.

It sounds like she still wants to remain "inside the tent" as it were.

It's better that you know now rather than later on.

I don't know what to say.

Sounds like you did everything right.
If you have to sugarcoat the fact that you're not religious, then it won't work anyway.

So .. one down, 3.5 billion (?) to go.

Sorry you had such a hard time mate.

It sounds like the issue may be to do with culture as well as religeon - you're an athiest, and if I remember right depending on culture she's expected to take your religeon (regardless of if you want that) if you two were ever married. I don't know about other places that practise the muslim religeon, but in India the worst thing you can do in societies eyes is offend or shame your parents. Just wondering if that may be the issue here.

Still, you're not marrying her right? She's being unreasonable imho.

I don't think you can fix the damage with her. If intimacy is a switch that for her can be turned as soon she likes then there's something wrong with that. Maybe tell her if that's the way she sees it she can go. At least that way she wont jerk you around and you'll find out where you really stand with her and wether or not it's possible for her to change her mind. If it's that big an issue for her that it's going to end everything it will happen anyway.

i'm sorry, Boo.
maybe she'll find she misses you too, and will rethink her views.

It's weird how Rammadan for Muslims and Lent for Christians makes people fast even when they generally don't care about their religion at all.

Muslims are a stricter religious people than most. I'm surprised she doesn't wear an ahab (I think it's called), and do the rest of their things. But obviously the family values run deep.

Not much else I can say I think.

Tough break Boo.

I have to say, I think it's better that you got it out of the way now. The people I have dated who are moderate believers or worse - it never ends well. It simply drives more and more of a wedge between you over time, because they almost never manage to accept or respect someone else's beliefs or lack of them.