Please help: NT loves AS boy

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Imaginarium
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05 Aug 2013, 11:55 pm

Hi. I joined because I need advice. I have had a crush on a guy that has aspergers for 3 years. When we first started hanging out, he told me about his type (very skinny, not like me). I am not really heavy but average weight. Over the years we have forged a good bond. I recently stayed for 3 days with him when I visited where he lives. We had a great time (or I did and he told me he did as well). He hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time and isn't comfortable with relationships. I have made friends with other AS people. Am very respectful of his personal space, ask questions about his comfort levels, etc. He's coming for a visit in a week. I'd like to know if there's any chance with us, but am afraid a direct approach will destroy the very sweet, tenuous friendship we have built in 3 years. But it's been 3 years. I'd like to know. He lets me hug him when we see each other, and tolerates contact (arms touching when we are in close spaces) and sometimes initiates contact, but made zero moves when I stayed for 3 days, except to repeatedly point out reasons I must miss him...



cathylynn
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06 Aug 2013, 12:03 am

how old are you both?



Imaginarium
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06 Aug 2013, 12:10 am

I'm 30. He's 27. It sounds so stupid, but my good friend with AS I never hide things from. Very honest. But I'm afraid to breach this topic with the guy I like. Everything else I try to be very transparent with.



Zodai
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06 Aug 2013, 12:31 am

To be honest, a direct approach is usually easier for Aspies - chances are that we likely won't pick up on anything else xD.

That said, he'll probably want some time to think about it - don't take it the wrong way, he'll just likely need to sort out his thoughts, as he probably won't have expected it (Even if he does like you)


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savvyidentity
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07 Aug 2013, 7:52 pm

If he's very loyal to you as a friend then maybe just go for it as it seems unlikely to hurt anything



Phssthpok
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07 Aug 2013, 9:54 pm

Here is what women think counts as obvious flirting:
Image


Here is what I need:
Image

Actually happened to me earlier this week. I had no idea that this girl was trying to flirt with me until it was pointed out to me after she'd given up and left.



thewhitrbbit
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07 Aug 2013, 11:09 pm

Pretty much. Many people with AS struggle with picking up flirting.