Too much support following diagnosis?

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Is there something like too much support, too much help, too much "acceptance of limitations"?

I find that my late in life diagnosis has provided me with lots of new support structures in terms of organizing myself and my things, communication - explanations how to be more responsive , 'acceptance or better realizing what can be expected. I find that also disabling, limiting my scope for self reliance and taking attention away from my positive capabilities and competences towards my limitations. In that sense diagnosis has been disabling for me.

It did give me a better understanding of myself. New insight in my strength and weaknesses. I experience that as a positive thing. And one that makes me better in responding to people with similar issues.

where I found new ways to communicate through mail, blogs, twitter, poems I also foudn that increased expectations. That I would be able to do what I can analyze. That i can express verbally and in complete body language what I can say on paper. These higher expectations set me up for failure.

In general I do find that the label is still more disabling then enabling. Making me less competent, less respected and less in general.

How to create conditions for success? Rather then compliance support. Enabling environmnets rather disabling ones. Learning opportunities rather then performance drills. Respect rather then acceptance.

Am i just being a thankless oaf, a complainer and typical asperger egocentric. Or is a focus on ability good for everyone. ? Are there ways to limit the backfiring props and instead focus on competency. How to structure support so that it doesn't become disabling?

I'm a little confused, are you saying that people expect too little of you and thereby not making you do as much, or people expect too much of you, and you end up failing?

I like an approach of play to strength, be matter-of-fact about deficiencies.

For example, for me I have trouble calling up my bank or insurance company. I will put it off for days and days. It's as stressful as like the time I spoke before Houston City Council on good middle of the road ways to prevent police brutality. It's like I have an A game of energy and don't want yo waste it on something as trivial as calling up my bank.

If I was a rich person, I might just hire someone to do these tasks for me. I wish we had a Spectrum Network group, who could vet volunteers, and sometimes someone could just make some of these phone calls for me.

I'm reading this post along with the blog posting found at http://hansaspergerjunior.blogspot.com/ ... label.html .

This is a difficult topic to work around, because so many individuals put different meaning on words, and all of our personal experiences are different.

If I am reading the two posts correctly, it appears that the issue is that public disclosure and/or outreach causes an effect of "acceptance", but also has the unintended social/cultural effect of "loosing respect and trust".

I'm not sure I'd agree that "being helped" is "acceptance", when the price for that assistance could be weakening one's personal and professional creditability, and by extension, one's ability to provide for themselves and loved ones.

Good question!. I'm being helped through lists, reminders etc. That raises the expectation of what I will get done. But its quite stressfull. And forces me to work in a way that i'm not good at (detailed planning rather then making it up as I go along). More routine work, less time for weird interesting stuff - like aspie blogs. More workable plans, less exciting ideas. A mediocre NT rather then a weird aspie.

I'm stressing over going along with the support rather then stressing about meeting expectations/requirements. There are less mistakes, more get done, but I feel less competent and more dependent. Does that make sense?

Some of us have received no support following our diagnosis. When I complained about this, I was told that I was signposted to support. Except, I wasn't, really.

Some people think that because I'm high functioning, I don't need support. I am also physically disabled.

It makes sense, because I've experienced it, but the key word is FEEL. The truth is, you're no different a person than you've ever been. Its your perception of yourself that has changed. When you stop focusing on it, you'll regain your equilibrium.

Which is to say, you're psyching yourself out.

I must admit, part of me is not sure about the after diagnosis support I'm on the waiting list for. I remember doing cognitive therapy once for my social phobia disorder, and feeling like it was just a list of things to remember rather than anything actually useful. I'm willing to give it a go, but I'm nervous about what it will entail and will it just make me feel more disabled?

Sounds like they're trying to cure you (turn you into another NT) rather than help you deal with the world as an Aspie.
I think I'd rather be an Aspie without support than any kind of NT.

What if you write up something relatively brief, say, the three main ways they might actually help you?

And it will help them more easily accept this as a change if a friend or family member can be present to support you while you do most of the talking.

I'm 57, UK, self diagnosed with Aspie and Borderline Personality disorder last year. Currently have a psych who reckons I am ASD and am in the process of diagnostic work with him. I also have community psychiatric nurse, counsellor, substance abuse worker.
This is on top of regular hospital visits for 3 different physical complaints.
The above are highly stressfulI and i feel over "supported", over medicalised. But the support is all I have, I long ago alienated family and friends and am very isolated.
Since my self diagnosis last year my "symptoms" have got a lot worse, I am a lot more disfunctional. Often when I get up in the afternoon my first task is to reach for the valium.

In my case I reckon Willard is entirely correct, I am psyching myself out. Hopefully 6 months further down the line things will start to settle...

You may find AS help more useful, especially if they're knowledgeable about executive dysfunction.