Do You Feel Like You Can Be Yourself With Other People?

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My sister and my husband. I question if they are on the spectrum, too. This would explain a lot.

My sister and my husband. I question if they are on the spectrum, too. This would explain a lot.

Knowbody15, - I just stole a copy of your signature in order to make it my motto.
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections”

Thanks

No. But this thread and this whole forum has made me feel so much better about myself, I can't even begin to explain it. It's like tarantella64 said, basically if I am being myself, I am hurting someone, including me, so I haven't really been able to figure out who myself is as most of who I am is just a jumbled up collection of reactions to people and situations. I don't know if other people have a more defined idea of themselves, I just often view myself in a Handle With Care, Unknown, Potentially Harmful to All Life Material Within way.

That is so cute. I pet my friend Brian's hair (he has really soft, silky hair), and he'll meow and purr. Ha ha ha.

Not really. I learned to pass in high school and college, and I'm quite good at it, but it's extremely exhausting. If I visit family, I'll go on long drives with my mom, and probably zone out looking out the window (if I'm not driving), and my mom will ask me, "What are you thinking?" And it's usually, yes, silence, or...I'm thinking about one of my latest obsessions, which I know will be of no interest to her. Her way of asking baffles me so much. I think she feels left out. I do have friends who enjoy spending time with me because sometimes we can just be together and enjoy each other's company and not have to say anything. Like, sit on a porch swing and watch the sunset, etc.

Since I've been reading and learning more and more about Aspergers, I've given myself more permission to have more time alone, to ask for time alone, to put ear plugs in if noises are bothering me, and I'm looking into work I can do from home or work I can do with animals, so I don't have to be "on." I'm giving myself more permission to wear my hair the way I want to, and to dress the way I want to.

You know, people say that Aspies are annoying, but NTs can be annoying as s**t too. My little brother, god bless him, is an outgoing, popular Leo NT, and I remember when he was little if you weren't paying attention to him or if he didn't get his way sometimes he'd yell, dance in front of you, turn his music all the way up, or hit or kick you. Torture. Now we're on good terms, but man, he was a monster when he was a child.

When I eventually let my guard down, only chaos follows. I can't afford to. I think the only people that truly knows me are my parents and if I do let go, they are only reminded that they will feel like a failure as a parent, when it isn't their fault at all.

Yes, i am slowly informing others that I have "Asperger's traits, just a few," "probably PDD-NOS as it's not a huge handicap," thigns like that. And, talking more and more about what makes my brain different.

I ahve some great church friends who love the random nature of stuff I say at times (well, to them it's random). It's a great match for the one who's always so outgoing and jokes around so easily - but his jokes are more storylike, and many of his wild stories have some truth to them. And we have one guy who is really quiet, one who is kind of but always has a one-liner at the right time and sometimes matches mine...

We're all single and a bit silly, though only I have any Aspie symptoms. However, around them I can let my guard down pretty much. With others, it's more certain things, like revealing one trait (like really literal nature" rather than letting the whole guard down.

I usually stay quiet, low profile, and watch what I say and how I act around people. People misinterpret me very very easily. I am sooooo strange, extremely strange. I radiate strong weirdness. People notice it quickly. I tend to tick people off really easily. I creep some people out. Some people think I am evil and a criminal because I am weird. Lots of people think I am gay, no matter how I dress, so I attract the ire of homophobes, more reason to keep low profile. Apparently I radiate strong gayness.

Most of my life has been struggling to pretend to be normal whenever eyes are watching me.

It isn't safe to be myself in around most people. But it isn't healthy to always be acting either, and acting is no fun at all. I hate having to put on a stupid facade, and I am not all that good at doing it either. It fatigues me out. I only act myself when I am alone or with people I trust. I probably would have been murdered long ago by haters if I acted myself in public.

I can really only be myself around my parents and sister, who have lived with me for 30 years and been pretty accepting. With everyone else, it's forced--I'm constantly thinking about what I can say, what's the net step, and so on. I'm in my head so much that I'm not really following the natural course that that interaction is supposed to take.

This.

I honestly am only comfortable being myself around my bestfriend. He's the one person that I know without a shadow of a doubt, accepts me for who I am. Granted, he doesn't quite subscribe to the idea that I could possibly have Asperger's Syndrome, but he still accepts my weird quirks for what they are. My peers that have met me within the past 3-5 years only know me as the person they originally met, not the guy that snaps his fingers when he walks, clicks pens incessantly and draws references to obscure things. Having gone through the struggle of being "That Weird Kid" and being ostracized and bullied for it, I've become more closed off as far as being myself goes.

I feel like I can give people a snapshot of who I am. Not to say that what everyone sees isn't me in any way but the majority of people I deal with get a diluted version of me and people closer to me get to see me more relaxed and actually open up about my opinions.

At this time I would have to say no, I do not have people around whom I feel I can be myself.

But I'm quite sure this is because I was only diagnosed this year; after 59 years of faking it I am still learning for myself who I am.

I can be honest, I have a group of close mates and heaps of friends and acquaintances. Yet, its taken me a while to be myself around them, the fear of being socially awkward is over-whelming sometimes, but I have persisted at it and have achieved things socially. Also I have recently experience a whole self-realisation that my life actually isn't that bad, which makes me feel I can be myself more.

I only ever had one I could be totally myself with. I've got a few others I can be mostly myself with. These are the only people I can spend much time with on a regular basis.

Also, to some extent with total strangers. One of my "outlets" for social energy (when one of "my" people isn't around) is striking up random conversations with random strangers. It's rarely more than 10 or 15 minutes, usually much less, but it's sometimes fun to just start talking to someone as if you've known them forever. Amazing how comfortable I feel, and how comfortable they apparently feel. Occasionally I get a strong rebuff, but most of the time it ends up being fun. The key is to surreptitiously notice something about them (not too personal) and bring that up in conversation. Maybe their car, or a college-themed hat they're wearing, or the items they're looking at on the shelf at the grocery store.

It's the people I know a little - e.g., co-workers and acquaintances - that I have the hardest time interacting with and being anywhere close to myself with.

I got my DX at 56, and thought that finally being able to make sense of my life, etc would help my friends understand me. It didn't work out - they couldn't imagine me even with a clear map.

I can "be myself" for a spontaneous joke from time to time, but in general, the choices are boring or scary, on one or both sides. I can be myself with a few people, but have to stay on topics we both enjoy.