Third First Date in as many Weekends!

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It doesn't matter how many times you tell him this. He won't listen.

Warning sign to me that. Well, good lick!

If your self-esteem is so low that your main dating criteria is a "willingness to settle for me", then it doesn't surprise me that he thinks this way. Based on the OPs past posts, he probably thinks every girl he meets is automatically better then him and should be worshipped on a pedastal.

It's unfortunate and ironic since outside of the dating realm, the OP has been quite successful in other aspects of his life (and not just by Aspie standards.) He's self sufficient, fit, and more successful professionally than at least 90% of people his age (he's won a freaking oscar for f**k sakes.)

I bet if he actually had standards and acted like it, the women would start seeing him as a real catch. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening. This thread is exactley like the dozens of others that he's made about the same subject and he hasn't listened to a single piece of advice yet.

Last edited by Geekonychus on 30 Sep 2013, 5:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Personally, I wish you well Brian. I hope you pick a girl you like and she she likes you back.

I can...meoinwego;we

It would...awedogrdesfghahweog

Nah, I'm staying out of this, and putting a sock in it. G'luck to all.

Well (in the parlance of our times) keep pimping, pimping. I've found OKCupid to be pretty awesome for meeting people and setting up first dates, but remember it's a numbers game and don't get hung up on anybody until they reciprocate your feelings.

When I say numbers game, I don't mean that in any mean or superficial sense; I mean that out of every 100 people on this planet (not just potential partners) you might like 20 of them, have something in common with 10 of them, and really hit it off with one, and that's if you're very lucky. (Hell, in terms of neurodiversity most on here are 1 in 150, and my favorite, if someone's one in a million in California that means there's 63 of them.) OKCupid lets you screen people, so the numbers aren't quite so bad, but think about it this way: How many women do you know? Out of that pool, how many are you attracted to? Out that pool, how many would you ask out if you knew they'd say yes? I bet that number != all the women you know.

The moral? Expect rejection based on the fact that you are a unique individual and therefore through no fault of your own (or theirs) you will not be compatible with vast swaths of the female population, and don't be afraid of dishing some rejection out yourself if you feel "meh" about things with any particular person. There's no door prize for setting on a milquetoast relationship just so you can finally have a girl, any girl to be with you. That way lies disaster and despair.

Finding a suitable partner is hard for A-list Hollywood stars, much less normal folks and if you're in a status-conscious place like LA or NYC it gets even worse. Just be the best "you" you can be (hint: you have an effing OSCAR, you ain't gotta "prove" sh*t to anybody) and it'll work out or it won't, but don't get hung up, like a date not working out is some sort of statistically significant measure of who you are. Be glad you're out in the pool getting your feet wet and keep swimming.