do you have aspergers AND good social skills?

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I was just wondering how many people have Aspergers minus the social skill deficit? When I was in my early teens my social skills weren't that great, but I guess that can be said for a lot of people when they're at that age. Now though, I can honestly say that I have fairly good social skills. I can keep a conversation going, I make friends fairly easily, and I can make people laugh with my dry sense of humor. I am thankful for this because I know that a lot of people with Aspergers/high functioning Autism have trouble in this area. I'm just wondering which people don't?

This is like that commercial on TV for the Ford Focus where the woman asks, "Do you like voice activated or great gas mileage?" Then the man says, " Do you like sweet or sour chicken?" Then the couple is in the Chinese restaurant dying from eating sour chicken.

Seriously, though. Doesn't Asperger's automatically mean you have social skills deficit? If it doesn't, I definitely have those deficits. I can't keep a normal conversation going because I hate small talk about the weather and traffic and I have no friends.

at the age of 57, I have developed passable social skills. people don't run screaming from the room when I speak.

a deficit in social skills is one of the primary symptoms yes. But just cause you're missing a couple symptoms when you have a cold doesn't mean that you don't have the cold. And I have other symptoms which make me believe that I do have aspergers. I take things too literally, I have high intelligence but little common sense, and I'm a bit awkward in my mannerisms. I was just curious to see if there were people out there that think their social skills are fairly decent for having Aspergers.

Lol, that's always a plus.

My problem isn't people running from the room - or even slowly walking out while muttering to themselves about me. I am employed and even hold a senior position, supervising a number of other people.

I "get on fine", but still feel a void when it comes to knowing what other people think, including what they think of me. Other people are still a black box. I can relate to them, but it is all playing a role and I get tired from all the work. Do they like me? I don't know, I can't tell. I spend hours in the evening on my own, just enjoying the peace and quiet, and the absence of walking the social tight-rope.

I still have no idea how people know when to hug each other: I cannot detect the minute non-verbal signs that say "Lurch forward ... NOW". How do they co-ordinate a hug without some sort of spoken "Ready ... set ... go!"? I cannot do that. It is a big mystery to me.

sometimes I'm lonely and want interaction very much, but then I kind of have my fill.

I tend to have grade A alertness and energy and paying attention and being present, and then grade C, and not too much in the middle.

Yeah sometimes I can have my fill too. I go out once in a while, but I always need time for me as well. However if I take too much time I get lonely.

If you don't have a social skills deficit then you don't have autism, at least not as defined by the DSM. At best you've learned to "fake it", or are just deluded into believing you have good social skills.

To be quite frank, I have come to the conclusion that I am a sociopath due to my AS. While I completely suck at anything related to romance and have trouble relating other people's casual behaviour to myself, I do have quite a keen understanding and perception of behavioural patterns and slight changes in behaviour. At the law firm where I intern, I have found use as a living lie detector. It is quite funny that I since I don't read faces, I can focus on microexpressions, small changes in posture and such.
I think this applies to all folks with AS. We usually have very good perception paired with very quick working, analytic minds. All these things that come to other people easy, we have to make conciously and force them. Likewise, it is reasonable to assume that after the long learning process of these things, we have an easier time "switching" our behaviour more rapidly on the fly to match our surroundings. It came with this understanding that I am quite capable to subconsiously manipulate people into doing what I want them to do. And I do happen to find myself doin that quite often as of late, simply because it makes my life easier. Especially since I come over as a very direct, sincere and "stiff" person, people find it implausible that I might actually be manipulating them. So in conclusion, I do think I have very functional social skills. It is just very very stressful to utilize them, so I only do it for my own ends.

! !?! You mean the mythical holy grail? Anyone who had those two powers would be King of All Aspergers!

I still have trouble making and keeping friends, but I think I've developed enough social skills to not stand out or be suspicious.

I still struggle socially but I think they are fair. I think I have better social skills than most aspies.

I always thought I had good social skills. Until I found out that my "friends" weren't really friends, I was just kept around as a kind of side-kick, like Tonto to the Lone Ranger. And gradually found out that my "social skills" were "different" from the normal, and that others were too polite to say anything about it. From my perspective, there is nothing wrong with my social skills, but apparently, not from the perspective of the neurotypical types, who keep me at a distance. At the age of 61, I am actually more comfortable being alone than in a group, and view friendship with the same aversion as I would stepping into a cage with a lion in it.

I am very good at acting sociable. I have observed enough NT's to pull that off for awhile, at least until people really get to know me well.

No matter how good of an actor you are though, it is going to wear you down and stress will slowly accumulate until it's no longer tolerable. It's going to be impossible to keep the act going for long if your goal is to get into a long-term intimate relationship, your true nature will always shine through eventually.

I have always wondered this. I know a woman who is good with dealing with the public in her job and seems to socially attract some of her regular customers, and I mean really attract them. And if I see her not working (like during a quick break), she is always yapping away to another one of her workers, or they always rush up to her to chat.

I've known her for about 3 years now, and despite all of what I said, she seems quite Aspie in other ways. I won't go all through the traits but I feel she is pretty Aspie to me, and I have read in countless threads here on WP that most Aspies can define another Aspie quite easily. Maybe I can too.

But this woman might have something like depression or anxiety or OCD or some sort of other stress disorder, and sometimes people with those sorts of things can have similar characteristics of Aspies or be more able to connect with an Aspie. I can say that she gets stressed easily over small things what other people wouldn't, and can do socially inappropriate things like punch herself in the legs in a temper when she's stressed or uncomfortable about something.

Again I'm not saying it is AS but I'm just saying it could be. Also she's in her late 50s, and so I have no idea what she might have been like when she was as young as me. She might have learned to adapt socially and be a good actor, or she might have been brought up in quite a hectic environment by confident parents. I sometimes hope that she is an Aspie, because that would prove that Aspies can have hope socially.