Living With Aspergers on my Own

Post Reply New Topic

I cannot cook or drive. For some reason my mind works differently than that of other people and the two skills confuse and frustrate me. I get a sensory overload with all that is involved and know that putting me behind a wheel would be bad. I want to think I could drive, but also want to know what my limits are. I guess this is only worse when you consider no one in my family drives and I live in a rural community.

I was diagnosed with autism years ago. however I am highly proficient in computer skills, reading, and writing. Reminds me of last year when we had to watch "The Great Gatsby" and giving a speech. Instead I asked if I could read the book in one day and give a book review.I work for the humane society here and I have not missed a day in the three years I have been here. I use buses to get there and walk on Saturdays and Sundays. I enjoy walking.

I am thinking of what I can do as far as living a future without driving or cooking. I was thinking of an online degree in programming that I can put to use from my house. I already run the humane society website. And writing could be a side hobby for money, I've wanted to write a book for a long time and currently do some writing for money for a website. At home I also do a lot of fostering for the humane society for bottle feeding, so that would work great. Fostering kittens and the humane society is the biggest part of my life that makes me happy.

I just have to think of a better paying job so that I can get my own house someday or pay for this one that my mom is paying back a loan on if it came to it. Counting on writing and programming might be the best way. I wanted to be a vet tech, but driving and college would be needed. And without a vehicle, I cannot go to college unless I walk to the humane society (3 miles) then to college from there (2 miles) then back home after classes (1 mile).

Any ideas, tips or good advice? How do you live on your own?

Since you don't cook, what do you eat? Takeout? Frozen foods? Someone else cooks for you?

In an area like Seattle, lots of people get away without driving because of the public transportation system. It's not the best but it'll do.

I live alone, but really, it's like walking a tight rope. I have no one to help me when finances go down. If I had a heart attack and dropped on the floor right now no one would know. I look at TV shows by myself, play video games by myself, write stories by myself, eat out in restaurants by myself, go to movies by myself, etc.

I'd say living with someone is better than being alone. But for me, darn these avoidant issues!

I live with my mom. She said I can live here for as long as I want for $200 rent per paycheck and I get 1000 square feet to myself, my cats, and the foster kittens I take home (the whole upstairs which is really two rooms put together). She cooks the meals every night. It isn't that bad, but I just worry what will happen when she is gone (I know that is really bad to think about, but planning in advance to things like this is a good idea). I would just stay here and pay off the loan... but it is steep. I think the loan for the house was 70k. The good thing is under the plan my mom choose, there is very little interest to the loan since she is on disability due to taking care of the children and having been through thyroid cancer in which she has to take daily meds to keep it in check. They are autistic and so she has to keep a close eye on them as she doesn't trust many babysitters and professional ones can cost a pretty penny.

Those things need not be barriers at all!

Transport: Walk, bus, train, bicycle/tricycle (yes they make tricycles for adults, they're great for those with poor balance!), taxi, carpool with someone you know etc, etc, etc. Find out if your area has a discount on taxis for people with disabilities which prevent them from driving, many places do and you might be eligible.

Personally I walk, bus, get a ride with my mother, use a taxi (half price for me when using one specific company) or catch a train.

Meals: Order take-out, go to restaurants, buy pre-cooked/no-cook/instant meals, sign up for a programme which delivers cooked meals in exchange for a fee, or make a private arrangement with someone (e.g, a neighbour who is elderly or a solo mother might appreciate you mowing her lawn, washing her car, walking her dog or something similar and be happy to give you a cooked meal one night a week in return for the help). When I was a child my mother used to cook 7 dinners for my grandfather every Sunday and put them in his freezer so he only had to thaw them and warm them up in the microwave. Would someone be prepared to cook for you in the same way? You could either pay them or arrange some other way to compensate them.

I can cook beautifully but I can't do it every night so one night a week I order take-out. Every week is the same, I have a set menu that I prepare. That helps to lower the stress for me.

I can't cook or drive and I live on my own. (I don't work though.)

Cooking isn't really necessary, unless you're unable to prepare even basic meals (sandwiches, salads, burritos, instant noodles, frozen meals, etc).

I don't see what the issue is with transportation. It sounds like you'd be walking around the same distance that you already are. Plus you've said you can go at least part of the way by bus. You could always move to a more urban area with better public transportation.

I don't particularly want to live entirely on my own, but living with other people is becoming too stressful for me. I would just rather live with one close relative, like my mum.

The thing what worries me the most about living on my own is neighbours. Where I live now with my family, we live in a peaceful area with descent neighbours. But when you live on your own, you can't be too choosey of where you're going to get, and so I'll probably wind up in a small apartment surrounded by unpredictable people, like drug-addicts, teenage mothers with noisy spoilt brats, or selfish people that have parties late at night. The amount of blocks of apartments I have came across with that sort of thing going on just gives me the shudders.

Security of one of the important things in my life what I need, and I will have panic attacks if I don't have it. So I want my home to be home, not just somewhere I've got to be just for the sake of moving out. I hate life sometimes.

I do think cooking is much easier to learn than driving, at least you don't have the risk of killing other people. It doesn't create much anxiety either. I've never seen anyone having a panic attack over what to have for dinner for themselves. When I moved out I couldn't cook either but I learned the basics pretty quickly. It really depends on your definition of cooking. If cooking is like piping hot gourmet meals 3 times a day made from scratch, many people can't cook. If cooking means managing to get something edible on the table then it's not too hard. If you can make a cup of tea or spread some butter on sliced bread, you can cook.

Start from the very simple things, like making jam or cheese sandwiches, boiling some hot water and pour over instant noodle cup, heat a frozen dinner in microwave. That sounds doable? Next you can try boiling some pasta and mix some store-bought sauce in, make some scrambled eggs, steam some vegetables..etc. Supplement with some takeouts and dinner at mom's and you'll be fine. I didn't really manage more than the above in the first year living alone. Gradually you can learn more.

Living alone was one of the best times of my life. Hope you can enjoy it.